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Precious Pink: Body Business 2 Review

Hustler

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Cast
Monika
Monika
Petra Short
Petra Short
Cony Ferrara
Cony Ferrara
Precious Pink: Body Business 2 at Adult DVD Empire

Studio: Hustler

Category:  Straight

Directed by: Patrick Handsome

Starring: Monika, Sandor, Petra Short, Chris Mountain, Clark, Cony Ferrara, Nicole (Hungary), Dora (hungary), Gary Boldiszar

Released on: 4/3/2002

Sbando Boy's ratings for this movie:
Overall Rating
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Male Looks n/a
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Plot/Acting n/a
Extras
A/V Quality
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Reviewed by Sbando Boy  on  5/23/2002
THE STORY SO FAR
It's good to be smart. If the movie you're reviewing is boring and you're a smart guy, you can always come up with some clever-clever thing to say, you know, the oblique and unconventional approach to your porn experience, the funny anecdote, what you were eating while watching the fuckers fuck, if you fell asleep while skipping through the chapters, and so on. Well, to paraphrase Groucho Marx, we'd better call a smart guy then 'cos, unfortunately, this reviewer is a big and unimaginative nerd and you can expect none of the above from him.
To be honest, I knew from the start what to expect from "Precious Pink 2", since PP is some sort of spin-off of an equally bland and anonymous Hustler series, "High Octane". Reviewers had warned me, friends had warned me. Still I fell right into the trap, but for two very different reasons: number one, because Hungarian new teen sensation Sophie was on the cover. Number two, because this series, along with High Octane, represented a mystery to me. So, where Hungarian teenagers go, there go my Nation and, being the geek that I am, I wanted to know the where, when, who and how of Precious Pink. Or, more precisely, the who dunnit.

THE SEX (YEAH, RIGHT)
Here I am, inspectioning my freshly delivered Hustler's Precious Pink 2. Let me see. Petra Short and Sophie... produced on 8/1/01... "Pussy that inspires"... photo slide show... "Electronica soundtrack by dj Kukilovemonster"... Front cover, back cover, the dvd itself, no cast list, no mention of the director's name. Funny. According to the French version of Volume 1, the director is some guy called Hervé Bodilis, which is not just some guy, but a superstar gay photographer. Is this the same Hervé Bodilis? Ok, I play the disc. After what looks like a homemade Precious Pink logo (are the kids playing with Flash?) the movie begins, with Petra and Sophie softly kissing. No credits. Instead, we find ourselves right into the, cough, action, with the all too familiar voice-over as our trusted guide. So I skip Petra's introductory threesome (my god, is the electronica soundtrack so loud and unrelenting throughout the whole movie?), skip Petra and Sophie's lez interlude, and let the final credits roll, hoping to shed some light on this little "giallo". And there they are... Credits. Names of people. The cast list is completely made up (Petra Short, a Private covergirl with, I guess, a minuscule fan-base of her own, is not even mentioned) but at least we have our Professor Moriarty: directed by Patrick Handsome. This is no "A Study In Scarlet", of course. More like Tim Curry's "Clues". Happy with my new found knowledge I realize that I've just ff'ed through a vapid and uninteresting movie, a collection of vignettes with a generic Andrew Blake flavor, a Private wannabe but with "style", run-of-the-mill Vogue porn with an intrusive soundtrack and phonesex-like voice-overs.
Patrick Handsome is indeed French. He's interviewed in the extras by some Hustler chick. Patrick is a creature of the night, that's why he's dressed in full stealth nightclubber gear. He directs stylish stuff. In his movies, the prettiest girls do the nastiest things. Who are these girls, where do they come from? Aren't they all really fashion models? The whole Euro package, you know. Re-packaged for US audiences who love to peep through the keyhole while these unnamed Euro beauties indulge in unspeakable sex acts. So, anonymity and lack of information are the real gimmick, here. Forget about style and fashion, forget about the soundtrack cd included in the Collector's Edition. Bo-ring, despite the cute as hell babes. All that, and the video quality sucks, too.

THE INDEX
This is the cast-list as it appears at the end of the movie: Sherry R., Claudia, Tonia Z., Dolores, Cu Cui, Andres, Victor H., Jo Jo D. Not very helpful. This is instead what I came up with (with a little help from my friends, you know, the usual suspects). Five vignettes:

"Artist's Desires": Petra Short, in all her coy and unassuming splendor, has sex with Clark and another Euro guy on a Blakian zebra couch. You know that you can never expect hard pounding when Petra is around, and this is definitely the wrong place to look for wild sex. A few close-ups of the girl's face (nicely made-up) are heartbreak material, but the rest has no energy. At least Petra doesn't shy away from cum and her money shot is the best thing of the movie. Cum-filled smiling into the camera straight from a "Woodman For Dummies" concludes the number.

"Sculptor's Subject": First comes the artist, then the sculptor. The only things sculpted here are Cindy's breasts, not very natural. Cindy (?) is a sweet-looking red-head (Killer Pussy 7, Exxxplosion) who had the very bad idea to get herself a couple of not so artistic fake boobs. She copulates with Boldizsar on an armchair (I'm spotting another trend here) producing zero heat. The only good moment is when the two fuck in missionary and Cindy's face covers with sensual sweat. Unfortunately, that's also when her scars are more difficult to hide. Boldizsar completes his masterpiece cumming between Cindy's tits. More sweet smiling, post-cum head, bad lightning.

"Auditions": Couch n°3. This couch here, though, is inhabited by a Goddess. Drum roll, please! Kilometric legs, a statuesque butt, a sweet and childish face. This Nymph's name is Sophie, of course. Wearing too much make-up, looking older than her age (20, when this was shot), she goes through the lesbo motions with Petra Short. Petra fucks her a bit with a dildo, then Sophie possesses Petra with a strap-on, and that's a wrap. Ten months after this sleepy adventure into asinine porn, perhaps she's ready for the real thing and she would be the perfect girl for a Rocco's Initiation. Superstar potential, 'nuff said.

"Just The Good Ol' Boys": Meanwhile, back at the farm... Clark and Boldizsar are tending some quiet horses, but a maneater is on her way. Watch out, boys, she'll chew you up! The blonde Roxanne (from Anal Intensive and Matador 15) may be trashy and not so fresh, but I find her mega-slut attitude very sexy. The farmboys forget about the horsies and double-team her (anal, dp).

"Masterpiece": A guy that looks like Chris Mountain (bearded and unkempt just like Chris) and an unnamed brunette fuck by the pool on a funky designer chair (so now you can choose from the whole catalogue). If you're still awake by now (the timecode says 90'), you'll notice a decent facial, with the brunette showing the same enthusiasm of the Nostromo's crew when they spilled Alien's blood.

LOOKING FOR ALTERNATIVES TO DJ KUKILOVEMONSTER?
Try "Monsieur Di", by Dimitri From Paris, the French ubercool master of retro-Disco. Burn, baby, burn!
Or show some respect to "Paris Is Sleeping Respect Is Burning, volumes 1 & 2", the French House ultimate comp. "Tout est bleu, tout est bleu".
Or you may opt for a modern classic, like Daft Punk's "Homework".
And also watch some decent porn while listening to them!

SO, DO I BUY IT?
"Pussy is the source of all great art. The female form, designed to titillate and built to fuck, has been the most popular subject since the first Neanderthal scrawled his pent-up sexual frustration on a cave wall. [...] PRECIOUS PINK #2 is a hardcore masterpiece."
Remove the disc from the case. Drool at the Sophie's picture. Nail the digital versatile support to your room's wall, next to the X-Men poster.

Sbando


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The opinions expressed in this review of Precious Pink: Body Business 2 from Hustler are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.