Not the Bradys XXX Review

Reviewed by bono-ONE  on  9/29/2007

Well fans here we have a parody of a very popular series from the 1970s and anyone from my generation probably has seen pretty much every episode and I can definitely say I had a big crush on Marcia and who is playing her in this title, it's Hillary Scott so that is really cool. Other main characters in this flick are played by Aurora Snow- Jan, Leah Luv- Cindy, Alana Evans- Carol, and who else but Ron Jermemy- Sam the Butcher!! The opening song which is also well known is cleverly parodied but they keep the famous Family Square pictures the same with everyone looking around just as the cast did for the tv show. Mike Horner is portraying Mike Brady so another good character actor is in the mix so let's hit some highlights. The gist of the story as we learn early on is the architecture firm isn't doing to well, or at least Mike's not pulling his weight so they might lose the house so the kids decide to pitch in anyway they can without letting their parents know what they're doing. Marcia finds an ad for figure models but when we hear it's called Chatsworth models then you can guess what kind of 'models' they wanted and when she gets to the location sure enough you see a girl in the background giving a blowjob but Marcia shows no signs of being affected by this in a negative way. The man fills her in a bit but she still doesn't seem to have a clue and before leaving to think about the 'job' lets him take some polaroid shots of her topless-- gotta love that as Hillary's got a beautiful set of tits. She runs into Jasmine Byrne on her way out-- she's currently a squeeze of Greg's but he has no idea she's doing porn and this gets us to the first sex scene. One great nod to the original show was after the credits finished and I wondered if Will would do it and he does giving us the classic opening shot of the house as the very familiar music plays-- it's not the actual house mind you but the intent was clear and I appreciated it.

Jasmine Byrne with Bobby:

Yep we actually get the youngest son in action before any of the other children as he happened to find the ad Marci answered circled on the newspaper left on her bed so he took matters into his own hands. It's funny but Jasmine recognized him and the two visit a bit which was silly, then the director comes in and tells them they have a lot of fucking to do, lol. After some fine tips we get the action rolling but young Bobby seems to know what he's doing and they work through some kissing as he massages between Jasmine's thighs- over her pants. Pushing the shirt up-- BTW the clothes looked very reminiscent of the 70's, anyway the shirt's pushed up and he samples those modest boobs. The camera moves all over doing some good up close shots and some good overhead views as well. I liked seeing Jasmine climb on top straddling Bobby as they kiss some more, then she moves down and does some sexy licking over the pants at his bulge. A quick edit and we're now onto the cock sucking and anyone who has watched Jasmine knows she can polish knob quite well as she does once more here. The youngest Brady then does his part pleasuring Jasmine's cooch then they work through several vag positions with cowgirl being the best I think, some fabulous upclose booty shots. After a very nice shot in reverse we cut to the pop and Bobby delivers a solid jizz blast to Jasmine's face with some cleanup after.

Leah Luv with Rocker aka Kurt Lockwood:

Before getting to the next scene we have Sam dropping by to leave some meat and Marcia taken aback as she had just seen him on the porn set she was at-- this is the one Jasmine fucked Bobby at but he hadn't shown up yet as that would have been funny having the sis see the bro bang out a girl. We get plenty of dialogue here and I thought Ron and Marcia both did well with their lines but Ben as Greg seemed a little stiff with his delivery to me, not sure if that was intentional or not. Funny thing I just noticed, the kids and parents who were there chatting in the background all had on 70's style clothing while Ron had on some athletic looking gear that looked very contemporary. Marcia was a bit awkward when Greg says she should go for this modeling gig and even more awkward when Greg goes on about how good Katie is-- that's Jasmine's character. Well we cut to the kids doing a carwash to raise money-- a few great titty shots are mixed in of Marcia- and the parents don't notice this at all, hehe. Alice then drops in to show some toys she had found and this leads to more funny dialogue as these are the Kitty dolls that young girls would play with, nope these are full on dildos but Carol doesn't seemed to fazed-- these must be school supplies she says, lol, but Mike at least has somewhat of a clue as he says when the boys are brought into the discussion by Alice that his boys are finally becoming men. So finally we cut to Leah aka Cindy, discussing their monetary problems with Kurt who says if she wants to really make some money then they need to discuss this in a more private location.

So they head to an upstairs room and like her mother Cindy seems a little slow when grasping what the situation really is or I mean Kurt's intent but he soon makes it clear what he has in mind, utilizing her undiscovered talents. She is made to stand up, whip around-- he mentions her great ass, braces and that she would be great for the barely legal fans. Cindy then gets the idea taking out the rubber bands in her mouth and we get right to the action with some strong no hands sucking by Leah-- jeez it's the two youngest children who are banging it out first in this title and they both seem more experienced than they should be, lol. More good close ups too and it's been awhile since I've seen Leah doing anything on screen and she looks as good as ever. Kurt then lays out young Cindy and munches nicely on her kittie before laying pipe to that sweet young but obviously not so innocent pussy. You see her banged out in reverse with some P2M, then it's on to cowgirl, mish and then doggie-- very good close open shot of her pussy/ ass here and finally Kurt blasts off to Cindy's pretty face.

Aurora Snow with Tee Reel:

This next bit opens with the parents discussing Jan, Mike feels she's a bit shy in the social arena but Alice then pipes in with some clearly defined commentary that perhaps Aurora isn't so shy as they might think but this goes right over Mike and Carol's heads-- these two really seem out of touch with reality, lol. The school projext Tee's here to help Aurora with is not something book wise, nope it's all about science, lol, namely the art of fucking which starts with some very good head right there in the backyard, jeez these kids are bold fucking right there with the parents home but of course they're so clueless that they never find out. Miss Snow is another fabulous knob polisher and does a great job working over Tee's rod and we get several good long looks at her doing this. I like it too that Tee goes down on Jan spreading those legs nice'n'wide before diving in. Aurora's got such a pretty pussy and we get great shots of those lips being pleasured. Sexwise they stay with the mish shot moving up from pussy licking to banging that pussy, reverse was also a good shot with P2M right after and we get a good cowgirl shot as well. The whole backyard too seems very familiar to those who may have watched the show, I'd have to look at it again but the tire swing, the whole layout will trigger some fond memories of the show for some out there, it did for me. Tee does some hard banging to Jan in doggie too-- it's cool using their Brady names while talking about the sex, there are lots out there who've mused about nailing one of the Brady girls or boys for that matter and we're living that out here. Ending the scene Tee pulls out but sadly the pop's not so good, still Aurora delivers some stellar cleanup working out the last bit of cum she can.

Paulina James & Veronique Vega with Peter :

Before we get to Peter's tryst with these two sexy vixens we have some plot development as Marcia and Jan have a sit down in the living room. Marcia fills Jan in on a few things like how her boyfriend Ramone's sister Katie-- that is Jasmine remember, is a pornstar and this also gets us to Jan saying the now legendary phrase, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia while saying she wouldn't tell anyone about their conversation here but she wonders is Marcia going to be a pornstar too and Hillary's not sure-- the money's real good she points out, then we get a short demonstration of Marcia practicing to be a porno star working over a huge pink dildo. Then we get Paulina arriving to meet with Peter and going upstairs we already have Veronique in her panties on the top bunk-- yep they have the boys bunkbeds in this movie too, so cool. Well we get that bit of nostalgia swept right away as Paulina takes off her jeans to show off her cute panties and being real bold Paulina wants to know what's under Peter's rather ugly 70's style pants. Well these two wordly young ladies soon have his cock thrust before them and they know just what do to as we see. There were some really really good shots of the girls working James's cock over and if you take a look around the room which the shot affords you some angles you might get that slight nostalgic feeling coming back in but then all you need to do is look right at those two hotties sucking cock and you're right back into the here and now. Sweet we get one shot with Vernonique riding James in reverse and Paulina is able to stand over Miss Vega's face to get her pussy eaten. We then get a perfect shot of Paulina's ass as her pussy is nailed in cowgirl with Veronique doing P2OGM!! A few more positions for each as they do a great job switching out leads to a shared facial so well done Mr. Peter Brady!!

Carol & Mike:

Alright before we get to the parents bumping uglies they open the scene with the disturbing find of one of those polaroids taken of Marcia at the porno studio-- my question is how the fuck did they get it? The guy Uncle Lou was all be careful and not tell your parents you were here but then he loses one of the pics he takes, oh well let's make the leap of faith shall we as there is some funny dialogue here between the parents while a worried Alice looks on from behind. The cell rings and Mike answers and it's Marcia though we don't hear her speak. Carol takes the call and the explanation given which of course they buy is that she was at the YWCA changing into a bathing suit when someone snapped this shot of her and slipped it into her pocket. Guess I'll have to go back to the point where Lou takes the pics and see if he gave her any, that would explain them having it as I guess Alice was doing laundry and found the incriminating pic.

Well now it's the kids who are all curiously absent, Alice is going bowling with Sam and if she breaks 100 he says he'll slip her some extra meat and I don't think he means a roast as Alice muses!! So now that they are all alone the Brady parents finally get their freak on and it's a bit weird perhaps wanting to see Mrs. Brady get it on with hubby but those feelings are instantly gone when Alana's fabulous rack is taken out with Mike doing some good sucking on those titties. We soon have Carol layed out flat on the couch with only her sneakers on and Mike's diddling her twat and licking those lips at a furious pace. Then it's time for Carol to suck some cock and yeah I guess I did like watching this, hey it's Alana and she can suck cock real real good as we see. We even get some strong POV head shot with Mrs. Brady. I'd probably say reverse was the best position shot and we get the wife working the load out to her face at scenes end with cleanup too so now that leaves only Marcia and Greg!!

Marcia with Greg:

This final scene opens with Marcia coming over to Greg and she wants his help but first we get Bobby coming in and throwing a football which hits Marcia's nose-- this was a huge nod to the show as anyone who's watched it remembers Marcia getting hit in the nose with the football, a classic episode too where she dumps the good guy to go out with the football jock who in turn dumps her when he sees the swollen nose and like a good Brady Marcia learned the lesson and ends up going out with the good guy she originally dumped who as a matter of justice wallops the football jock in the nose giving him something to remember, lol. Ok enough nostalgia!!What Marcia has in mind here is for the two of them, yes that is the two of them, making a porno and selling it to Uncle Lou so again we're playing on the history of the real life Greg and Marcia having some romantic chemistry. The only drawback for me here was Ben being a bit to stiff delivering the lines, I thought Hillary did pretty good with hers especially when she says, "Come on Greg let me suck your cock", I was rolling when she said that so now we're upstairs and the two do indeed get it on.

Well they waste no time doing some good kissing and we get those fabulous knockers of Hillary's taken out and who wouldn't want a shot at sucking on those babies. Those I must say by looking at how he's got the camera pointed they'd be missing him sucking them as it was pointed down, lol. We move to the shot of Greg eating that juicy pussy out and Hillary's so good here with the dirty talk and I've got no qualms with Ben's work as a performer here, he's not having to talk much. Hillary then gets her chance to suck cock and well she is the reigning XRCO Best Oralist and you can see why here, she takes all that Ben's got and then some. Sweet we get some good POV time with Miss Scott polishing knob, no hands style too some of the time. Opening in reverse was very nice, Hillary's great set of tits are looking real good in the shot here and then he pops to her face but she's screaming out no, no, no and turns out the whole scene was a dream as she wakes up with the entire cast surrounding her and I mean the entire cast including Sam and Alice!! The final shot is hilarious and I won't give it away but it totally sets up the sequel if they want one and trust me there's gonna be one!!

Extras & Final Thoughts:

Well so far as parody's go I thought this was a pretty good one with just the right amount of nostalgia worked in without making it overkill. The nods to the series were good throughout, mostly with the clothes, the football hitting Marcia's nose, the classic Marcia, Marcia, Marcia line and then the supposed romantic interest between Greg and Marcia gets worked in to close it out. Overall the performances were good, I sure hope it was the plan to have the parents act so ditzy as they were very good at doing it while the kids seemed way more hip to the times as evidenced with their sexual encounters and I only felt that Ben as Greg was a bit stiff with some of his line delivery's but he makes up for it with a solid fuck scene with Hillary at the end. Now what can they do in the next one, well of course have some interaction with the girls taking on another guy perhaps or even nastier sharing a girl would be really hot but we'll have to wait and see what Will comes up with in that area. As for this a total recommendation for purchase as I thought the sex was pretty strong, no anals but some nice facial pops to end the scenes. Now for extras you really get a lot with this release having not one but two BTS segments plus interviews with Aurora, Alana, and Hillary who is sporting her newer red hair color here so guess that will be worked into the next one unless she goes back to blond by then-- me personally I think she looks beautiful in red hair so I hope she keeps it. You also get interviews with the director and producer plus a making of on the soundtrack. So yeah if you loved the Brady's tv show you should appreciate the nods here as well as the sex captured.