Mail Order Bride Review

Date of Production: 10/3/02

Produced by: The Jelly Roll Co.

Written and Directed by: Roy Karch

Female Cast: Nikita Denise, Nina Hartley, Kelly Warner, Alexis Amore, Justine Romee

Male Cast: Joel Lawrence, Steve Hatcher, Chris Cannon, Mike Horner, Billy Glide

Initial Comments: I know that there are nay-sayers to Karch's stuff, but he's one of the few directors that does all hetero one-on-one videos. The two previous titles of his that I saw were OK, and I'm curious to see what he does here. The first time I watched it, my wife had the volume turned way down so it wouldn't bother the kids. The silent movie effect made a lot of the performances look fake. When I cranked up the volume to hear what was going on, things heated up and got real.

Scene Selection: 7 chapter selections with preview clips for the opening credits and 6 scenes.

Review:
Opening Credits: Joel Lawrence is not on the list.

Scene 1: Nikita Denise and Joel Lawrence
Nikita is in the dressing room putting on makeup. Joel comes in and she says that she is getting dressed. They play husband and wife and get it on right there, even though people are waiting for them upstairs. There is bluesy upbeat background music. They are both moaning and getting into it. She blows him and takes him all the way in. He playfully slaps her and whacks his dick against her checks. This is higher energy than the two other Roy Karch videos I've seen. He goes down on her, two fingers and slaps her pussy. "Oh fuck, give it to me, give it to me!" wails Nikita. He does a hard four fingers and spits on her pussy. They get a bit animal-like rough. She rides his bare cock reverse cowgirl with her top still around her waist. We get close-ups of both, and some mirror views. She sits on the dressing table for more. There are lots of good sex sounds, dirty talk and we see both their faces. They do standing doggy and she does her clit while Joel is sweating it up. Joel jerks into her mouth and she takes him in, then slides the tip over her lips. He's sensitive afterwards. "I think I've got a meeting to go to," says Joel. She licks cum off her fingers.

This scene is pretty hot. Yeah, heat and energy. Joel's performance is slightly overdone in the 'ruff energy' category, but it still comes off well.

Scene 2: Justine Romee and Billy Glide
Kelly is at work talking on the phone. "Honey it's gonna be busy. I don't think I can make it for lunch...Chris, I'm gonna have to take a pass."

The scene cuts to Nina discussing business with Mike. Mike is the anxious client and wants to meet Justine in person.

Billy is working out in the weight room. Justine comes in and says that she can't go through with this anymore. It's a big scam and she wants to stay with Billy. Billy is muscular and in shape, whereas she is soft and round. She lies back on the weight bench for some oral pleasure and he tongue fucks both holes. He's a nasty boy and she loves it. She says, "Let me suck your cock." I don't think this little lady can open her mouth wide enough to take all of his thick meat in. She gives an energetic BJ, rides RCG on his condom covered cock, then lies back for anal mish. There is music in the background but it's not intrusive and actually synchronizes with the scenes in places. He kneels over her and squirts into her mouth and on her chest. She's dong the "Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!" stuff in admiration of his prowess. She plays with the cum and licks her fingers.

Scene 3:
Back to Kelly on the phone with her legs propped up on the desk. Her boss Mr. Lawrence walks in. Things look positive about Justine. He is going to give her a call.

We cut to Nina and Mike on the patio talking about Mike meeting Justine. Nikita walks out to the table where they are sitting. There is a problem and Joel comes over to talk to his wife. They talk in private. It turns out that Justine is a fraud, so they call in Mr. Hatcher to get with Nina and figure something out. At this point my wife comments that this is so lame, but that's her usual reaction to most plots in porn. I think it's funny. They talk to Mr. Hart (Mike Horner). Bluesy music plays as we watch the silent dramatization and Mike's distraught reaction to the news.

Scene 4: Kelly Warner and Chris Cannon
Chris walks into Kelly's office. "I decided that if I couldn't have lunch with you, I was gonna have you for lunch." They get down and dirty on the couch. I like the whole setup. They are both cute and play off each other well. He sucks her tit then licks and fingers her. The music is a little too loud for me here. Ooo, she's got a hard clitty. They do get into it and she does a slow BJ. This is fun - laughing even. We hear her more than him. Chris is obviously the silent type, but enjoying it. He's got on a condom, and she rides RCG. It looks like she has an orgasm. "Oh yeah, harder!" she repeats. She's still got a hard clitty for mish on the couch. "Make me cum again, please, fuck me. These two are for real. He cums on her face. This scene has me very aroused (I'm really fucking hard from watching this). She has to go back to work.

Scene 5: Nina Hartley and Steve Hatcher
Steve and Nina are sitting on the bed trying to figure out what to do about Mike's situation. Here's the real plot stretcher. Justine has a cousin in Mexico City who is looking for a husband. Steve already has her flying in. Steve and Nina kiss a lot, with lots of smiles as they undress each other. Nina really knows how to use her hands, embracing and stroking. Steve tickles her pussy through her panties. Obviously some of her performance is just 'performance', but she is good. She bends over and kneels on the bed for Steve's oral attentions. He sucks her clit good, then licks her ass. He tongue fucks her ass and she's thrilling on it. She gives him some oral attention and they work it through a couple of positions (workit, workit, workit baby with another condom here). This scene is high energy too and he cums on her ass.

Scene 6: Alexis Amore and Mike Horner
Mike is pacing when Alexis comes down the stairs carrying flowers. He's wearing a black suit and she has on a fishnet dress that exposes all. They have a sweet introduction and the setting is very romantic. There are candles and champagne, and even jazz saxophone as they fall into each other. Mike tongue fucks her and energetically licks her pierced clit. She licks the juice off his fingers and they tongue lash each other. She's obviously had plenty of experience to please her new husband-to-be, and he's no spring chicken either. She blows him and licks his balls. We get a few close-ups of her pussy then she rides RCG (another condom). She's got a pierced naval and pierced nipples too. And of course she's the vocal one. They do mish and she's screaming "Harder!" and "Yes, yes!". Mike is sweating it up and jerks into her mouth. She give's him an oral clean up.

Back to the dressing room with Nikita and Joel. "We got lucky, Dominique," says Nikita. Steve was the magician. It's a happy ending. We even get closing credits - in a porn.

Extras:
Photo Gallery:
Cast Bios:
Bios for everyone except Kelly and Alexis.
Previews
Web Sites
Bonus Scene:
from A Witches Tail Behind the Scenes

Themes: Straight, couples

Overall: Maybe it's just the cheap beer glow or maybe I'm sappy, but I really enjoyed this one. If you're like my wife, the plot just gets in the way of the sex. For me, the plot and setup in each scene led into the sex quite well. The whole movie flowed smoothly. Even the music was done to compliment the action. Roy Karch did a much better job on this than the other two titles of his that I've seen. It's all hetero, one-on-one, and in my definition a good couples choice.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me at RobEHammer@aol.com.