Lex The Impaler 5 Review

Reviewed by Jake Blade  on  4/30/2010

Jules Jordan and Lexington Steele have formed porno’s premiere crime fighting duo, and Lex The Impaler 5 is some of their best work in the war against terrorism. Boy wonder always seems to cause an uproar and attract criticism among porn fans wether he is releasing movies in blu-ray or answering cheap shots on forums, but you could hardly say a bad word about this cast. It is simply top shelf, a-grade, and full of hot slutty bitches looking for a big cock, and who better to unleash the power of a massive love hammer than the man with the longest beef stick in the business, the caped crusader big Lex.

Juelz Ventura & Andy Dan Dimas
It would be hard to assemble a more attractive pair of brunettes, and if you like dark eyes and heavy porno style make-up matched with the obligatory artwork then this will be one of the hottest threesomes you will find. Very unsettling early when Andy is struggling to undo Juelz’s booty shorts only to find a penis protruding from between her legs, but once you realize it’s the big man up to a few circus tricks things really do get sexy. Andy is more naturally boobed and quite a lush, with a cock hungry attitude and dirty pirate mouth. Juelz on the other hand is relatively demure by nature but has a porno hardbody that could make any cock stand to attention. The duo has no problems with the big black love stick combining for the blow job, not a tuff task considering how much cock there is to go around, and taking just about every inch in their pussies. There is quite a bit of standing doggie, but the highlights are Juelz squatting on the cock in reverse cowgirl which is all to brief considering the shape of her ass, and Andy’s super keen ass licking of the Juelz Ventura crack which looks just about good enough to eat.

Eva Angelina
Eva is not only beautiful but as a performer she is one of the most lively and frisky babes on the porno circuit. So if you are expecting a full throttle fuck with her being hammered by the Lex love pump then you will not be disappointed. Her pussy and tits look great, but its her ass that really gets opened up with Lex powering down the dirt track like he is trying to stretch Eva’s backdoor to the limit. There is some great anal footage, not always balls deep but real ass widening material with the monster wang stretching her out like he is wearing in a tight new leather glove. With this type of butt plunging the ass to mouth has to be unconditional, and of course Eva delivers once again. This really is elite ring work.

McKenzie Lee
She seems to have lost most of the English accent and a little weight but her leg over routine is better than ever. McKenzie lets her hair down in this scene and gives Lex the green light to go crazy on every hole, and given the proportions of her body the anal intrusion is to oil drilling depths. The big man works the brown from just about every angle, pulling McKenzie on like she is a well worn boot. She is a great looking broad, with a real slutty edge to her personality which means you get the punishing anal and the uncompromised ass to mouth, something The Impaler seems to enjoy.

Tori Black
Apparently Tori Black doesn’t provide enough entertainment value being herself, so there is a dom-sub plot to this scenario with Lex restrained early and Tori with the persuader in hand. The latex dress with the ass cut out is good, but this girl is known more for her beauty than her booty, so the cheeks don’t really protrude as much as you would expect when an arrangement like this is dusted off. But the clothes are soon discarded as this scene is all about the anal, and I don’t mean looking at Tori’s whispering eye. The Impaler does what he is paid for here, stabbing deeply in the backdoor longer and deeper than we have ever seen Tori’s ring probed before. Not only does she take it easy, she really seems to enjoy it. There are quite a few cuts between positions and sequences which is more associated with boring porn from the early ‘90s than your Jules Jordan classics, but watching Tori have her ass injected by double digit inches of dick meat is the draw card here. It really brings a new perspective on ass to mouth as the head of that cock has probably been touching the back of her throat anyway it is shoved up her ass that far.

Taylor Wane
Apparently French maid material is porno storyline we don’t get tired of, this time its Taylor Wane playing the feisty cougar who is on heat and looking for love. The maid outfit wouldn’t be complete without big tits popping out the top and ass cheeks protruding every time the bitch bends over, and mercifully Taylor delivers at both ends. The woman is a noisy slurper when she sucks dick, but it’s nowhere near as punishing on the ears as listening to her screams of ecstasy, so a mouthful of cock is definitely the best option for viewers. Apparently it’s Taylor’s first crack at the black snake and she takes a reasonable dicking, but its her body that is the highlight. She has some of the surgeon’s best in terms of boobs, and an ass to go with it. Technique wise she is accomplished in the standard missionary-cowgirl-reverse cowgirl-doggie repertoire, but does a lot of squealing, taking the big man easily balls deep but making sure everyone knows about it with her screeches. The noise at times is unbearable, resembling something a Pars Hilton style canine would muster when it wants attention, but when Taylor bends over and spreads the cheeks its easy to dedicate a few more minutes her way, especially as Big Lex blows a big nut over her face for the finale. Funnily enough in the BTS you will see that Jules had to ask Taylor to try and curb her enthusiasm as the decibel levels were getting a bit too high.

Katie Kox
You might think the old job interview scenario is a tired storyline for a porn scene, but when Katie Kox pops the top button your interest levels will skyrocket. She has boobs of avalanche proportions and it takes a fast thinking and well repertoired man to keep the twins from feeling neglected. Katie might not have the blatant nastiness of Eva or the big name of Tori, but she is a wonderful fuck and her tits and ass are great to watch. The underwear arrangement which includes a tidy stockings suspender combo is a great touch, but Katie is sexy anyway and the way she grinds when she is riding cowgirl will give you a higher estimation of her abilities. Surprised there wasn’t more oiled up tit fucking with this big juicy rack, Lex opting to weave his magic in the kitchen on the bench as we have seen him do before.

In Closing
There are some big time scenes in this edition of The Impaler, and even if you aren’t overly amorous towards the big man himself it is easy to get excited about the cast. Obviously this is a popular serious and Big Lex a popular performer, otherwise there wouldn’t be a fifth edition with a cast of this calibre. So critics of Lex should quite simply spend their money elsewhere and do us the favour of not subjective fans to anti-Lex propaganda. He is clearly a porn legend for the size of his love hammer alone, and while not overly passionate or rough like Manuel, hard hitting like Everhard, or annoying like James Deen, there is an elegance about his work as he probes deeper than any man before and has a few corny lines to help the girls take their medicine, and load wise he is definitely at he top of brother cummer list. For length freaks there are more minutes of footage over the double disc ensemble than there are inches on Lex’s cock, a decent feat in anyone’s language, and apart from the Taylor Wayne screech factor it is easy to bust a nut at any chapter. Anal with the big man really is an Olympic quality feat, and for those that like a bit of ring protrusion you will hardly find deeper more probing efforts than those by McKenzie, Tori and Eva. For Lex fans this is one of his best so far, and easy to recommend as a purchase option on your next visit to the friendly neighbourhood porn store.

If you have a comment or query for the reviewer please email please.jake.blade@gmail.com.