How To Get Ahead (Cal Vista) Review

Reviewed by Rosco Fuji  on  6/15/2009

How to Get Ahead is a story driven disc from the late 80’s. Fun fact is it was directed by Ron Jeremy. I never really was impressed with the stuff that Ron directed, compared to what he brought as a performer. As was the standard back then, the scenes are rather on the short side as 6 scenes plus storyline are packed into 70+ minutes. We also have a backing soundtrack that I could swear is the rhythm section from the song Walk like an Egyptian. Funny thing about this release is that it’s set in a high school and the girls portraying high school students nowhere look the part. Compare that to today’s porn when we have actually high school girls playing MILF high school girls. AAAAAhhh, the world of porn. The sex is routine and by the book for generic 80’s porn. No cum faces by the guys, but then again no cum facials for the girls either. Point of contention with me in this is that on the cover, Dana Lynn is sporting her short blonde hair look, and in her scenes she has a completely different hair style, color, and length. But then again, this type of bait and switch was prevalent back then with porn in general. Don’t bother with this, not even if you are a fan of the girls.

Extras include: Photos, Vintage Trailers (Pleasure Palace, French Teen, Call Girl & This Lady is a Tramp) & Bonus Scenes (From Trinity Brown, Rock Hard, Here Comes the Bride & Personal Services.) These trailers and bonus scenes while hit or miss definitely help make up for the short running time of the main feature.

Amy Brens: Opening scene girl that I never heard of before does a passable scene set at a table. Some of the shots are obscured by the table itself. Amy returns later in show for a follow up I/R scene also. Both scenes end with Amy taking the popshots to her furry pussy.

Ebony Ayes: I’ve never been big fan of this girl, as IMHO she was never really a raving beauty, but got by more on the fact that she was one of the few black girls in porn in the 80’s. She does a scene with Ray Victory, taking a popshot to the body. She returns later for an I/R 3way with Dana Lynn and Frank James, again popshot to the belly.

Nikki Knight: I never was a fan of this girl’s look, but as a journalist on this site, I forge my way through the scene. Of course, having Dana Lynn in the scene for a 3way made me skip using the fast forward button. Nikki and Dana take turns eating at the Y before Billy Dee jumps in to help out. Nikki takes the popshot to her pussy.

Dana Lynn: Very cute blonde, one of my favs from the time. I seem to recall Dana doing a lot more I/R at the time that straight white on white scenes, I could be wrong. I do remember the very first time I saw a white girl double stuffing dark meat into her mouth, it was Dana. Dana also had a shoulder tat on her back, long before girls who were anything other than a biker babe sported ink. Was she a biker babe? I don’t know Mr.Spicoli! Maybe she was just the typical California Beach Blonde Slut when she was doing porn. Either way, it was our gain. As mentioned in the opening paragraph, a little Bait and Switch going on with Dana. Besides the hair issue, she was little more than an auxiliary player here, but she was featured prominently on the box cover. I guess they needed a selling point for this offering as the rest of the girls or the sex weren’t it. Dana was in 2 three-way scenes and other than a little head before Ebony Ayes jumped into the one scene, Dana was definitely in the back ground. We did see her lick some white pussy, but no I/R girl on girl mouth to pussy loving. No popshots for her either. Thanks so much director Ron.