Hopeless Romantic Review

Reviewed by Tongue in Groove  on  11/3/2004

“Hopeless Romantic” is simply just hopeless. Despite the presence of a couple of porn stars of the past (Nikki Dial and Lacy Rose), the inane script and poor camerawork make this one tough to watch.

The storyline is a joke, so forget it and FF to the action, what little there is. Nikki is on a couch with Steve Hatcher (playing a dumb redneck) on their first date. The action is slow and tedious, but Steve somehow gets excited enough to eventually shoot on her belly.

Two performers I’ve never heard of, Kaelyn Roberts and Lyndon Ryder, are next. This boring scene entails him eating her pussy, her blowing him, them screwing in CG, and him cumming on her butt. Pass the warm milk please!

The standard lesbian scene is next, with Lacy Rose and Mickala doing the pussy licking and dildo inserting. Another yawner!

Mickala tries for some better sex from Randy Spears, but, again, the action is uninspired and the participants looked bored (like you and I). He finishes off on her tummy.

Lacy is back, and she’s somehow hooked up with Hatcher (from the first scene). Don’t ask! A butt cumshot ends this listless romp.

Nikki returns to show Randy how it’s done by a pro. And that’s what we get – a very professional, by-the-numbers tryst ending in a belly splat shot.

Originally issued by Legend in 1994, Hopeless Romantic was reissued by New Machine and, to be honest, they wasted their time and money. You should not do the same!

No condoms were used.