Euro Angels Hardball 13: The Hole Story Review

Reviewed by Gabriel Nine  on  10/24/2001

EURO HARDBALL 13: THE HOLE STORY
(Evil Angel / Clark Euro Angel)
Directed by Christoph Clark
Starring: Liza Pirelli, Mallory, Suzy Sweet, Tunder, Miss Blondie, Christal, Red Julia, Eva, Agi, Inga with Yanos, Hatman, Chokey Ice, Yann Scott, David Perry, Alberto Rey, Thomas Stone, Chris Mountain, Christoph Clark.
And in non-sex roles: Bea, Laura, Annie, Rambo, Sean Mi

With a sizeable cast and feature-length storyline, Hardball 13 sees Christoph Clark stretching his ambitions and his budget a little further. Over the last year he has been adding quality to the existing strength of his productions and in this case the result, while not entirely successful (and this is partly due to the reliance on handheld cameras), is an entertaining, amusing and, of course, very filthy tale about a journalist researching the world of porn. This may not sound exactly original, and it isn't, but there are enough hot women, hot sex and a little bit of invention to make it another very watchable movie from the Euro Angel stable.

Busty, sexy starlet Liza Pirelli, who I presume is European despite a heavily Americanised accent, stars as the reporter who starts her investigation with a visit to an agent. This guy shows her a couple of his models, in the flesh so to speak, and puts her in touch with a certain famous director who just so happens to be shooting in the city at this time.

Christoph, for it is he, is behind the camera on set, next day, preparing to shoot a scene with busty Russian Eva, whose performance is singularly lacking, and the infinitely preferable Suzie Sweet (a gorgeous curvaceous brunette, current Clark favourite and wholehearted enthusiast for anal exploits). David Perry gets the luck of the draw and is paired with Suzy for some sex that takes a while to heat up, but sadly the coupling between Alberto and the barely animated Eva never does and she ends up on the sidelines as the fucking gets spicier.

Liza arrives and Christoph allows her to film with her camcorder while the shoot goes on. She seems to find it all rather exciting, and with her provocative dress she distracts the boys too. Perry wants her to join in, but she does no more than handle their cocks in a break for still photos and besides, Christoph wants his studs to concentrate on the movie. Suzie is thus on the receiving end of some serious anal action, from rimming and fingering to some hard and relentless pounding and DPs to boot that all leaves her orifices wide open and visibly pulsating. The scene finishes with rather weak facials for the girls, including a second pop from Alberto on Eva, and the two women kiss quite pleasurably to share the cum.

Ms Pirelli clearly finds all this quite stimulating. Looking for Christoph afterwards, she discovers that he has gone to "pay" Suzy, which means play with her ass using a dildo and then come on her tits! He emerges from the bathroom to find Liza waiting. However, her flirting leads him to expect more than is really on offer - all he gets is a slap in the face. "You stupid man!" she berates him.

However, when she gets home, she checks her tape for the day and finds herself getting horny again. She lies back and masturbates herself to a climax and then drifts off to sleep.

Next day, as Christoph is preparing another shoot based around a limo in a garage, a less than contrite Liza is on the phone to sweet talk him into letting her on set again. Naturally, he agrees (who could turn her down?) and she arrives to interrupt a scene with pale, icy-blue eyed Mallory and a bunch of young guys (Thomas, Csoky and the new guy Yanos). She looks sexy as hell with her creamy big boobs hanging out of a black dress and her legs sheathed in black suspender tights. She very actively sucks the guys and then they take turns fucking her.

After this, the sex largely consists of extremely raw and relentless anal fucking and then some DP in the cramped and sweaty confines of the limo. Liza teasingly inveigles herself into the action at some points, but she is a mere distraction as the guys alternate resolutely pumping their dicks between Mallory's plump cheeks. It's pretty hard going for Mallory, who gamely keeps sucking whatever dick is proffered at her lips.

For the climax, Mallory squats down, surrounded by cocks, and the lads deliver three very healthy wads over her face. She slurps on the dribbling dicks, and then Liza comes over and wipes her clean. Christoph gets another slap in the face for letting her do the messy clean-up job!

At home, Liza types up her report but soon finds herself drifting off into a dirty dream. In the dream, she is a dominatrix in probably the world's least imposing dungeon, and her dialogue here as she orders the odd selection of dungeon dwellers around is (unintentionally?) hilarious. Chris is the first guy she encounters: "Who are you?" she asks. "I am the man who wants to fuck you," he says woodenly, completely straight- faced. Things go on in this fashion.

There are a couple of masked, muscular guys and a busty woman (Laura) in the background, but the sex concentrates on Christal, a young, sexy blonde (see A Bevy of Blondes for a much more worthy performance) taking on Chris, and strong, silent Yann drilling his big tool into a modest- looking brunette called Inga. Both girls wear net cat suits. The sex is actually pretty straightforward, the men taking the girls very firmly vaginally and then anally with Liza flitting back and forth, commenting loudly.

The musclemen help lift Inga up and down on Yann's dick. There's only the merest suggestion of real kink - Christal is clearly being ass fucked while restrained in the stocks but, frustratingly, the action is edited in a way that hints clearly at what is happening but can't quite show it directly - you can see as much hard, and indeed painful, anal as you like but showing BDSM along with the sex is clearly still VERBOTEN! Anyway, this slightly confused and mildly exasperating scene ends with two decent facials. Yann pops right across Christal's face, and then Chris follows up with a heavy load that seems to pump endlessly over Inga's face and mouth.

Liza wakes from her dream and wonders if she really is becoming like this...let's hope so, because by now I am sure all viewers will be dying for her to shut up and get fucking!

She turns down the chance to do just that when Christoph invites her to a party. As Christoph puts the phone down, we can see what kind of party this is - Hatman is lounging back on the sofa, enjoying some luxurious oral attention from a curvy young brunette (who they call Mimi in the extra footage) and taut-bodied Sheila Scott (shame that the big tattoo on her arm, and her make up and hair, make this otherwise very sexy girl look so harsh). These girls are credited as Agi and Tunder. Christoph, meanwhile, has his dirty paws on a very hot, young, busty blonde who is credited as Miss Blondie. After the initial contacts, where Christoph gets some great oral from her and then does his foot worship thing while Hatman is delving his tongue deeply into the ladies, Christoph takes his young girl (supposedly his wife) for a good one-on-one fuck that is nicely shot with some overhead views. He enjoys some really good straight sex with the girl, feasting on her big boobs and plundering her tight slot. She likes to ride on top, it seems, and it ends in a foot job to get Christoph off.

Meanwhile, "Mimi" has prepared her ass with a dildo, and once Hatman has done fucking the very noisy Sheila's pussy, he gives "Mimi" a really consistent firm and deep anal pounding. She seems to love it, though, and I have to give Hatman credit for a good turn here too - though he is still an ugly bastard (and I mean that affectionately of course)! Christoph is still horny and returns to join in - Sheila sucks him and he gives her a good fucking. His energy is amazing!

Hatman finishes off his anal romp with "Mimi" by shooting over her back, while Christoph continues to fuck Sheila, pausing to eat her pussy before finishing off with more firm fucking and a predictably weak second wad of the scene over her pussy.

Christoph returns to shooting his movie, with a photo shoot for a scene that will feature the sexy and curvaceous brunette Red Julia (why Red? Don't ask me!). Liza phones him, but he seems to be getting a little tired of her messing him around (and slapping his face too, no doubt) and so he agrees that she can come around after. However, he has to go out and she shows up shortly after. Photographer Jean-Michel lets her stay and after the photo shoot is done she interviews Julia. David Perry arrives and joins in the conversation. There's an air of tension developing here as Liza tempts them into having sex while she watches and the proceeding action plays pleasingly on the psychological dynamics of the situation.

However, this time she is not going to get out of taking full part in the sex. David is super cool and confident as he tells her to imagine that it is her sucking his cock, rather than Julia. While he fucks Julia, he calmly orders Liza to expose her boobs if she wants to see any more, and judging by the way the nipples on her sizeable tits stand out, she is getting quite keen herself. He makes Liza show him how much she wants it, denying her the pleasure of his cock and ordering her to the floor to crawl over and lick his legs before she has his dick fed into her mouth. Actually, despite her claims to the contrary she's not as good at it as Julia.

The action continues with Perry lording it over the girls and Liza gets a bit wearing with her overdone comments and exaggerated exclamations - I am afraid she seems to think all the stereotypical American porn star OTT verbals are good. Nonetheless, the sex is hot with the girls getting competitive for David's attentions. They are bent over on the sofa, two big sexy asses ready for a good doggy style fucking, and then some intense anal too. Julia makes much more genuine noise as Perry plunders her ass, but Liza, at last, takes the real fucking here. She then orders Julia to lick David's cock clean. He gets more oral from Liza and a tit fuck too before he finishes off by fucking Julia's ass one last time till Liza pulls it out and jerks him to a climax that he appears to enjoy hugely, but is lacking in visible evidence. Bossy Liza again orders Julia around as David revels in the afterglow.

When Christoph returns, he finds Liza alone. Yet again his designs on her are thwarted with another good slap in the face - "I hate men that are too sure of themselves!" she says as she storms off, leaving Christoph muttering to himself.

In the end, as I already mentioned, this is an entertaining, but not completely successful, romp. The editing is very good and makes the most of Christoph's shooting, which would have benefited from some less "gonzo" camera techniques - after all this is a feature length movie. The acting is generally better than in movies of this type (bearing in mind that excluding Hatman, English is not the performers' first language), and Liza's performance in the lead role is very strong. However, her inability to vary her delivery means she does become a little wearing - she does tend to overact just a little! I also feel that the sex scenes do suffer in the pursuit of what is really a fairly limited storyline.

But then as always there are many plus points: not least of which are good sex, great girls, and a mood of general good humour - though frankly a little roughness or even a mild spanking or two would have made that rather weak dungeon scene a touch more credible. Female viewers (and I accept they will be massively in the minority of this movie's audience, though the more heavily story- based approach will have wider appeal) may be glad that the older male cast members like Chris Charming or Remigio Zampa who used to contribute largely to the crude, lewd nature of early volumes in the series have been usurped by better looking, fit, healthy young guys like Csoky, Thomas and Yanos.

Christoph deserves credit for trying something more, with a large cast and a more extensive ambition for this project. I hope he can swing the pendulum back, but just a little, in favour of the hotter, harder and ever-so-slightly kinky sex, as used to be more of the norm, while continuing to improve the quality of his productions. Euro Hardball 11 struck a very good balance for me, and is as good a movie as I have seen this year, but these last two volumes have only sporadically merited the "Hardball" label.

DVD Comments
Good picture quality, good audio and smooth menu presentation are all elements that are expected of Evil Angel DVDs and as usual they deliver (though some of the lighting in the source footage must have caused a few of the tiny handful of small problems). Add to this a fine selection of extras, including photo gallery and text biography (though isn't it time for something new in this department?), being beefed up considerably with some excellent extra footage that includes some typically revealing behind-the- scenes shots, director's instructions to the editor and a healthy helping of extra sex.