Eternity Review

Director

Brad Armstrong

Cast

Stormy Daniels, Jessica Drake, Keri Sable, Lauren Kain, Shay Sights, Michelle Lay, Eva Angelina, Randy Spears, Eric Masterson, Chris Cannon, Kris Knight, Talon, Veronica Hart (Non-Sex), Mike Horner (Non-Sex), Ami Stewart (Non-Sex), Tom Preacher (Non-Sex), George Kaplan (Non-Sex).

Genre

Feature

Condoms

All male-female scenes have condoms.

Running Time of Main Feature

2 Hrs. 35 Mins.

Female Orgasms

None

THOSE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT

Those who really like the idea of period costumes and archaic ideals of love intermingled with modern day porn-sex.

THOSE WHO SHOULD STEER CLEAR

Those looking for any kind of real emotion.

REVIEW:
I can tell--this is going to be one of those ambitious, fancy-dancy, "let's try to express historical drama, passion and theme" porn movies.  ::sigh::  Not that I don't applaud the effort, mind you.  I just really don't know if porn is compatible with a story like this, or at least I'm not sure if the level of movie making talent and budget in the porn is up to the challenge.  I'm always looking to be proven wrong.  By the way, this one is shot on film--a plus for some, and minus for others.

A modern day bride, Sylvia (Stormy) is preparing herself for her big event.  Her mother (Veronica Hart) comes by and fawns all over her, and then drops a locket into her hand.  She claims it represents their family's history and has been passed down from mother to daughter for two-hundred years.  Inside is a picture of another Sylvia, the bride's great great grandmother.  The bride is her namesake, and as it happens, looks exactly like her.  Mother decides this is a good time to tell her daughter Sylvia's story.

Back "many many many many many years ago" according to the mother, we see Sylvia working at her farm--a farm that has incurred a lot of debt thanks to her deceased father.  When Sir Adam Dalton (a land baron) comes in and claims he must confiscate the farm for payment of debt, they plead their case, but it falls on deaf ears until Sylvia catches his eye.  Sylvia's mother notices his interest and later offers her daughter's hand in marriage in exchange for giving them a new life.  Unfortunately, Sylvia was in love with Daniel (Kris Knight), and now she has to say goodbye.  

And how do we say goodbye in porn, boys and girls?

Scene 1 - Stormy Daniels & Kris Knight

Sylvia and Daniel's goodbye is pretty well your average historical happy-gentle sex fair--in a barn.  Stormy looks typically good, although I'm not a huge fan of the period costumes where sex is concerned.  That's probably just me, though.  They trade some oral pleasures, then fuck in missionary, and break it up with some awkward and silly pussy to mouth action before moving on to reverse cowgirl, and doing more of the same.  I mean, it's one thing to have to overlook the condoms in the historical setting, but do we have to make things even more porn-y than it already is with all the rhythm breaking pussy-to-mouth?  Maybe this is why I don't like historical porn movies. There's too much disbelief to suspend in a regular porn movie--in histories it just gets ridiculous.  After a while of this, Stormy pumps a tiny load on her lips and mouth.  ::shrug::

After using Adam's (Randy's) money to clean up all nice and pretty, Sylvia and her mother arrive at Adam's castle.  He greets them with the expected air of superiority.  He gives them a tour, and settles them in.  He appoints Grace (Jessica Drake) as Sylvia's handmaiden to see to her every need.  Meanwhile, Adam shows his true colors when he's unnecessarily nasty to his servant, Michael Collins (Eric Masterson).  Sylvia sees the aftermath of this and starts to understand Adam's true nature.

Regardless, the two of them get married, and on their wedding night, well, they have some sex.

Scene 2 - Stormy Daniels & Randy Spears

This one is more along the lines of sad-gentle sex.  Aside from the change in cocksman, and the almost indiscernible shift in tone, this is pretty much exactly the same sex scene as the last one.  Stormy  looks good, and Randy pumps her with a little more energy than Kris did, but that's about it.  They fuck their way through some missionary, and cowgirl, and Stormy pumps an equally unimpressive load out of Randy's cock and onto her lips.  It's not necessarily a bad scene, but it's not necessarily a good one.

Sylvia isn't necessarily happy either, but Adam does give her plenty of gifts.  One of them is an incredibly beautiful horse, and there's some cool footage of the horse being ridden with some tricks thrown into the mix.  It turns out that the gifts are just compensation for Adam's cruelty--which he's happy to show at every turn.  When his servant interrupts him during a fencing skirmish, he cuts him.  When his workers at the mine strike, he threatens them with reduced rations and time in the stockade.  He's equally unpleasant with his wife when she speaks up in their defense.  That apparently, is the beginning of the end for Sylvia, but before any more developments on that front are realized, Grace (Jessica Drake) and Kenneth (Chris Cannon) decide to have a little servant's tryst off in another part of the castle.

Scene 3 - Jessica Drake & Chris Cannon

Jessica has great hair in this scene, and I do kinda like her costume.  Other than that, it really is the same damn scene all over again--only this time the only position is doggy (but of course they don't leave out some pussy to mouth hijinks ::groan::).  Chris' facial is a bit more substantial than the last two guys' were.  It's a nice lookin' scene I guess, but to be frank, I was bored the whole time.

Sylvia walks in on Grace and Kenneth, and enlists their help, along with several others, to hatch some kind of plan to get back at Adam.  Their first item on the agenda is to steal some rations from Adam's stores.  Two friendly co-conspirators in the form of Eva Angelina and Michelle Lay "distract" the guard (Talon) while Sylvia and her gang raid the store house.

Scene 4 - Eva Angelina, Michelle Lay & Talon

I've never been a big fan of Michelle Lay, but I do have an inexplicable thing for Eva Angelina.  The girl knows how to fuck, and she's proved it many times during her stint in the gonzo ranks, and even in one or two choice scenes for Wicked.  Both girls are brunette, and once again, their hair is fantastically made up here.  They give Talon a dual blowjob before Michelle takes it right up the ass in a gorgeous looking stretched legged-doggy position.  Eva gets some missionary vaginal while Michelle briefly sits on her face.  As usual Eva is nicely expressive without going over the top (at least for me anyway), and I really enjoy watching her.  Talon shares his load with both girls' faces--although Eva gets the lion-share of it on her cheek.  It's a nice ending to what is, so far, probably the best scene on the disc.  Unfortunately, even that isn't saying much.

Adam finds out about the theft and decides to mete out some punishment for all.  The recipients of the food get whipped, the guard gets punished, and Sylvia ends up watching this happen.  This doesn't disuade her, though.  She keeps stealing from him and giving the spoils to the needy.  They grow more distant from each other and Adam begins to look elsewhere to satisfy his sexual needs. That "elsewhere" just happens to be the delectable ass of one Keri Sable (otherwise known in the movie as Alicia).

Scene 5 - Keri Sable & Randy Spears

You know, where Keri Sable's ass is concerned, I'm willing to forgive an awful lot of narrative foibles and stilted dialogue.  She is fucking gorgeous, and she looks really fantastic here.  Her ass makes a deservedly grandiose first appearance and things just get better from there.  She gives Randy an average blowjob, and then mounts him reverse cowgirl.  There's more pussy to mouth, but again, Keri's looking so good to me that I'm hardly even noticing that anymore.  Then, God bless her, she takes it up that gorgeous posterior in the doggy position.  Wowee Tow.  Maybe I'm just easy to please when it comes to Keri.  So be it.  She looks beautiful, and takes it like a pro.  She does more of the same in the half-spoon/missionary position and looks equally breathtaking doing it.   Randy gifts Keri's face with a nice sized load, and this is not only the best scene on the disc--this might even be enough to rescue the rest of the movie from the brimming pit of porn mediocrity.

Meanwhile Sylvia's out riding her new horse.  When Adam appears, she makes it pretty plain to him that she suspects him of extra-marital activities.  After a little bit of sword practice, apparently Alicia's (Keri's) husband, Mr. Richardson (Tom Preacher) has found out what Adam's been up to with his wife as well.  He "demands satisfaction".

Mr. Richardson insists on pistols at dawn, and Adam agrees.  They dual the following morning, and of course, Adam wins.  Later in the courtyard of his home, Adam confronts Sylvia about her involvement in ripping him off.  After threatening her, he leaves in a huff.  Sylvia and Grace try to figure out what to do, even while her prince of husband is fucking two girls at once in another part of the castle.

Scene 6 - Shay Sights, Lauren Kain & Randy Spears

Once again, the hair wins the day here.  Shay Sights with her silly-big boobs really doesn't do it for me.  Lauren is pretty good looking, but then I admit that blondes have a bit of an unfair advantage with me--even though she does have a little bit of a hard edge to her.  The two girls take turns sucking Randy's cock, and Randy takes turns alternately pumping into Lauren doggy style, and then into Shay's mouth.  I'm afraid Shay just really doesn't do it for me at all, even if she does end up taking in the ass later on in the scene.  Lauren acts as moral support for Shay's missionary ass-fuck, and Randy caps off the scene by coming in both girls' open mouths.  As far as performances go, Shay demonstrates some good energy once the anal sex gets started, but other than that there's nothing particularly special here.

Uh-oh--Sylvia walks in on the three of them.  She expresses her dissatisfaction with the arrangement, and he tells her if she doesn't like it, she should leave.  She calls his bluff and decides to do just that.  Before going, though, Adam ratchets his cruelty up a notch and shoots the horse he bought for her right before her very eyes.  Sylvia is crushed, but of course, she leaves anyway.

Sylvia arrives home to find that her mother had passed away.  Lucky for her, Grace (Jessica Drake) shows up--having left Adam's employ.  She decides to serve Sylvia and their cause (whatever that is).  It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out where this ridiculous story is going to take us next...

Scene 7 - Jessica Drake & Stormy Daniels

Jessica starts the scene by sponging Stormy off while she takes a bath.  From there it becomes a girl-girl grope fest with two performers who've done it with each other more times than once.  I mean really, there's just no mystique in pairing Jessica and Stormy up anymore.  Wicked has some of the best contract girls in the business in my opinion, but well--when they work with the same people all the time, even they can get a little banal.  This scene is characterized by some fingering and licking.  At least no bright purple dildos show up to break the illusion of the period this time.

Sylvia and Grace, along with Michael (Eric Masterson) and several others stay the course and continue to steal supplies from Adam's stores.  Meanwhile, Michael and Sylvia evidently fall in love.

Scene 8 - Stormy Daniels & Eric Masterson

Speaking of performers who work together all the time...  This one starts with some nice, gentle cocksucking by Stormy, moves into some spoon position, some cowgirl (complete with P2M), some missionary, and a pretty nice popshot onto Stormy's tummy.  As special as they clearly seem to think it is, I didn't think it was all that.

Adam, now pissed off at all the raids that his incompetent guards can't quell, decides to burn Sylvia's house to the ground.  Then he finds Michael and Sylvia in bed together.  Michael and Adam fight, and....

Well, if you really want to know, I won't spoil it for you.  

On the other hand, if you really don't care--I don't blame you.

EXTRAS:

DISC 1
Multiple Audio Streams:  Regular, Music only, and Dialogue only.
Commentary with Brad Armstrong and Stormy Daniels:  Stormy is a cutey.  It's fun listening to her, and both of them offer some insight on shooting the movie.

DISC 2
Bonus Sex Scene with Stormy and Pat Myne from The Portrait:  14 Mins.
All Access - The Making of Eternity:  40 Mins.  As usual, this is all interesting and fun.  Interspersed with the usual impromptu interview footage, and some acting rehearsals--all hosted by behind the scenes camera-man Mark Stone. This also has some nice alternative video footage of a little of the sex, including a nice clear picture of Keri Sable's gorgeous facial.
Making the Cut - Fencing with Randy Spears: 4 Mins.  A little fencing practice and training for Randy Spears.
Interview with Brad Armstrong: 8 Mins.  I think there's a bit... (a lot?)  more ego from Brad than is warranted here.  He talks about the development of the movie from script to realization.  He's expecting awards, and hey, he might get them, but if you ask me, he's still got a long way to go before he actually makes a film that can be favorably judged outside of the porn medium. But then, he probably isn't asking me...
Trailers: Secrets of the Velvet Ring, Perfect Life, Erotik, Intrigue, Caliente, Wicked Sex Party #7, Road Trixxx, Space Nuts, Fluff and Fold, One Night in Vegas.
Trailer for Eternity
Photo Gallery
Star Galleries
Star Stats
Sex Scene Galleries
Behind the Scenes Gallery

OVERALL:
Given my apparent dissatisfaction with this movie from a story and sex standpoint, it's really easy to forget how difficult a movie like this is to shoot.  Film is a tough medium.  When it's done well, it can really be something special.  From a photographic point of view, this really is quite beautiful.  It's competently captured and excellently lit, and in the world of porn, that's a worthy accomplishment.  When you put it in perspective, this is really quite a good overall package.  That all said, it breaks my heart to have to say that I really didn't like the story at all.  The acting is just there--although as usual Randy Spears does a pretty decent job.  As most of my regular readers know, I enjoy the harder edge of sex, and in its absence, I prefer comedies over dramas just because comedies are a more forgiving format for porn's acting and production limitations.  For those who are looking for a more subdued tact on sex that involves the context of love and historical values, this really might be just your cup of tea.  For me, my favorite scene, and in fact, the only scene I really enjoyed was that of Keri Sable with Randy Spears.  She looks so gorgeous, and she does anal without a care in the world.  When it comes down to it, she's a little on the reaction-less side, but her looks make up for that in spades.  Other than that, I was pretty well counting the minutes until the movie was over, I'm sorry to say.

There are a number of interesting extras, including a somewhat sparse, but Stormy-cute commentary with Brad and Stormy bantering away.  For those looking for a low-key historical drama that makes an attempt at conveying love and passion, this might be worth a purchase.  It's really nicely captured and the costumes certainly bring it to life.  For everyone else, I'd tread on the side of caution and go with a rental first.  Although the attempt at subdued passion is there, it pretty much never showed up as far as I was concerned.

Questions or constructive comments about this review? Email me at MLyons@my.adultdvdtalk.com


Other Adult Movie Reviews by Mike Lyons