Elastic Assholes 8 Review

Reviewed by Jake Blade  on  7/5/2009

Elastic Assholes 8 will have anal freaks putting their glasses down and reaching for the lube, as it signals time for Mike John to take us on a ring-centric tour of porn’s finest. The man never disappoints, and by his own admission has assembled a fine set of professionals to capture some quality probing and elasticity of asshole. With Kristina Rose kicking things off in the opener, John and his team are all business when it comes to bringing the good stuff to the fans.

Kristina Rose
Kristina Rose is a fuck machine. The young thing is tiny but her juicy ass makes and anal capabilities make these asshole-centric gonzo flicks her specialty. Frolicking in Mike’s backyard in a silver sequined bikini with her old friend Mr Swirly, the tease will be enough to have your cock moving north. Mr Swirly the glass dildo has a tuff job, and he probes in the backdoor before Kristina is met by James Dean on the workbench. Kristina is the star of the show and once she gets wound up the dirty talk flows from her mouth like a running tap and her body convulses. There is no time wasted on her pussy, this performance is all about ass and how many fingers can fit inside her tiny butthole. The Dean Routine is far from exciting, and even though he pulls out a new spitting habit to go with the mumbling, its Kristina’s antics that give this opener stroke value. Her tight little starfish is not persuaded to gape here, despite the best efforts of JD, but her swallowage to finish off should keep everyone happy and horny.

Dia Zerva
Dia’s first on camera DP is cause for applause, but before the big dance we start with some tease courtesy of a nice sized butt plug. The blonde has a natural body fit for love, and after working her well trained asshole is joined by a couple of man friends in Sean Michaels and Mr Marcus. The blacksnake of Michaels could be classified as a sexual weapon, and even though the love hammer of Marcus is a lot less imposing it has the force of a linebacker operating behind it. So as far as on screen DP cherries go, these two are quite the team of virgin surgeons. The boys are the ultimate professionals, packing the man meat long and deep into every hole Dia has. The mood is fun and jovial throughout this scene, and as Dia is put through an assortment of spit roast positions and filled out like an application form, her talent for taking two cocks shines through.

Chayse Evans
A good ass in skimpy underwear immediately brings thoughts of anal sex to mind, and as Chayse Evans poses in Mike’s backyard with her sweet cheeks hanging out this rule applies ten fold. The woman has an ass for all seasons and on moving inside a butt plug is needed to open up her tiny starfish. As the German representative of the analistic movement, Steve Holmes steps in to deliver some romance. Holmes has been harvesting two dollar whores for decades, so when he gets a quality slut like Chase to work on he is all business. Chase’s ass, pussy and tonsils all get a taste of the German sausage, with Holmes making sure there isn’t an inch of his schlong that hasn’t penetrated this slut in some way. Chayse is a star and really gets off in this scene, and Holmes is again at his passionate best.

Holly Fox
The denim mini does a shithouse job of covering the bubble butt of Holly Fox. She gets familiar with herself and the camera in the backyard before moving indoors to the couch and The Dean Routine. The Mumbler doesn’t have the dick stiffness to penetrate the ass from the start, so he works up a head of steam in Holly’s pussy before he breaks on through to the other side. The slapping, spanking and spitting are again part of the performance as the ass love moves form the couch to the stairs to a love seat. If you were wondering about Holly Fox’s place on the roster then don’t, the blonde can take a pounding and sucks the ass flavoured cock with love. And as far as gapes and elasticity of ring, she is a beauty. She also has a tick in a little box labelled “swallow”. It is a shame she is taking a break form the biz.

Charlotte Vale
The moneymaker of Charlotte vale is perfect for filling out a pair of tiny denim shorts, and Mike John zooms right in to give it the necessary exposure. Her winking asshole attracts the camera like a magnet, and it has no trouble with a couple of fingers delving in as a loosener. James Dean is on the scene to give the starfish its elasticity grading and after some forced deep throat he gets straight to his assignment. Charlotte is a gaper and with her ass poking in the air her ringster opens right up each time the cock is withdrawn. The Dean Routine mumbles away with a more aggressive approach, combining the spitting with some light slapping and choking. But Charlotte is a girl who can take a manhandling while she is pounded, so she takes these moves with a smile never far form her face. She swallows the cock easily, licks some man ass, and handles the anal like an ass queen, so she would be great company for any crack happy stud with a stiff dick.

Lexi Love
Heels and tight denim shorts are a nice way to start any scene, and when you are dealing with a rig like the one on Lexi Love this is particularly true. Her crack is so neat that when she pokes it down the barrel of the camera her own nipples stick out like .22 bullets. The brown eyed honey is no stranger to ass play, and on going a couple of fingers deep on her freckle, one can only wonder how much cock can fit into the back door of love. If any man can fill an ass with man meat it is Sean Michaels, and once he steps in to view he is all over Lexi like a cheap suit. Once she undoes the pinstripe pants of Michaels, Lexi works the chocolate happy stick with double hand action and ball sucks like she has a Masters in Blowjob 101. She has attitude to go with her fine ass, and she goads Michaels to give her the best that he can muster. After having her pussy fucked she is soon pulling her legs back to give Michaels a sniff of the dirt track, and he probes long and deep like ass is his drink of choice. Lexi’s ringhole takes literally yards of cock riding reverse cowgirl, but it is the doggy with ass music that shows her off the best, and there is some foot play sprinkled in for feet freaks. This is nice dirty anal sex at its best.

In Closing
This is another quality instalment in the Elastic Assholes series from Mike John. As with many of his casts, he has assembled girls who are not only different by look, but also in personality so it brings a variety to the appearance and sex of each scene. Three serves of man mumbler James Dean, could definitely be seen as a Dean Routine overdose. I am not sure if the addition of face spitting to his repertoire is him trying to be more dominant, or if he considers himself a hard man with his new saliva antics, but by appearing in half the movie his role is definitely generous. Fans can be the judge of this clowns abilities. Mike John’s camera work is all class, he concentrates on the crack, keeps the quality positions in focus, and doesn’t zoom in and out as if his viewers have the attention span of a whip fly. In the package there is two discs with over three and a half hours of fuck time, and 47 minutes of typical comedy laden BTS. Crack fans, do yourself a favour and take a look at this one.

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