Breeders (Metro) Review

Studio
Metro / Cal Vista

Genre
Feature

Directors
Brad Armstrong and Greg Steel

Starring
Gina LaMarca, Ruby, Dawn Burning, Asia Carrera, Nadia, Sindee Coxx, Kaitlyn Ashley, Anna Malle, Steve Drake, Sean Rider, Alex Sanders, Peter North, and Jon Severini

Running Time
1:17

DVD Format
Single Sided, Single Layer (DVD-5)

Aspect Ratio
1.33:1 (full frame)

Special Features
Photo gallery, biographies, 20 trailers and full-motion chapter selection menu

Typical Watchers
Fans of Gina LeMarca, Asia Carerra, Peter North or Brad Armstrong

Typical Haters
Raincoaters and people who don't like B-movie quality features

Replay Value
Medium

Themes
Post-apocalyptic theme, cum play, facials, anal, outdoor sex

Condoms
None used

If You Liked This DVD, You Should Enjoy
Euphoria

Plot Synopsis: The year is 2012 and the world has been devastated by a nuclear war. The survivors fall into two tribes: the Population and the Breeders. The Population are prisoners who were spared death because they were in underground maximum security cells and are hell bent on taking over what's left of the world. The Breeders are 12 people who are still fertile despite the radiation because of their participation in a cancer research study before the war. The Breeders have to find each other and mate to repopulate the Earth, while the Population tries to hunt them down and kill them. Add a time traveler from the future to aid the Breeders, and you have an ambitious (for adult) post-apocalyptic movie.

General Comments: This video reminds me of a B-movie you're likely to find on late night cable, with a mini-plot, some "special effects," and lots of T&A. Only in the case of Breeders, hardcore sex replaces the gratuitous nudity. It's obvious that Armstrong & Steel spent some money on a location (an abandoned refinery), vehicles (motorcycles and a dune buggy), costumes (the standard grubby post-atomic garb), and special effects (lots and lots of prop guns firing). The soundtrack is a departure from the norm, with more Yanni-like, new age music (although the standard porn drumbeat is added during the sex scenes). The acting is pretty forgetable, with only Brad Armstrong (as the Population leader, Kane) and Asia Carerra standing out.

What bothers me the most about this movie are its gaping plot holes. For example, how are the Breeders supposed to repopulate the planet if there are only 12 of them (talk about inbreeding!)? Or why do the men pull out, ejaculate on the girls' inner lips, and then push the cum inside, if the goal is to impregnate? Why are all of the performers neatly shaved and have bleached hair if their clothes and skin are filthy? Yes, I know that it's a porno, and that mainstream B-movies have the same gigantic plot holes. I guess you have to watch Breeders like you'd watch a campy sci-fi movie: as a guilty pleasure. At any rate, it's got more plot value and production value than most X-rated films out there.

Notable Performances: Of the seven scenes in this movie, I really only really liked about three of them. This is not only because of the fast-forward eligible action in the others, but also because of my own personal dislike of massively inflated tits (and I'm sure that all of the ladies are artificially endowed in this one). The ones I did like feature Peter North, Asia Carerra, and Gina LeMarca. While I didn't care for any of their partners, those three can make a hot scene with their own talent and looks. I'll never get tired of watching North's amazing volume, Asia's sleek form, or Gina, well, Gina doing hardcore (at the time this movie was made, Gina was the only Penthouse Pet who had done any hardcore).

DVD Notes: The video to digital transfer on this disc is generally good, considering this is an older DVD. While there are problems with lighting in the feature (either too dark or washed out), they are definitely production, not mastering problems. The audio is problem free as well. The biggest complaints I have about this DVD center around two of the supplements: the photo gallery and the trailer. The photo gallery, besides being hard to navigate, is also way too dark and the photos lack much definition. The trailer suffers from audio and video problems, with the voiceover narration being too quiet compared to the rest of the soundtrack and there are very visible compression artifacts throughout.

Bottom Line: If you can rent this one or find it on sale (for like less than $10), you probably won't be disappointed. But while it's an above average DVD, there isn't anything particularly outstanding that makes it a keeper.

- Saki (saki@sakivision.com)