Ass Appeal (Hustler) Review

Reviewed by Crucifixio Jones  on  5/11/2005

Ass Appeal

2005, 3 hours and 6 minutes
Hustler
Directed by Van Styles
Starring Ayana Angel, Jada Fire, Gia Jordan, Katrina Kraven, Sandra Romain, Sydnee Capri

My Life as of May 11th, 2005 --

On the tube: "The NBA Playoffs“, Shaq, Dwayne Wade and the Miami Heat are puttin‘ it on my home team, the Washington Wizards. Makes you wonder why the Bulls and them went at it so hard, knowing full-well neither of them was getting past the Diesel and Weezy in the second round.

Mainstream Flick in the DVD Player: “Save the Green Planet“, a quirky Korean movie that‘s been getting a lot of critical acclaim. A slightly off-center young man and his loyal tightrope walker girlfriend kidnap the CEO of a huge corporation, convinced he is an alien, to thwart an invasion.

In the CD Player/Winamp: “How to Make a Girl Feel“, Tierra Marie. Rocafella‘s newest R&B princess samples Eric B. & Rakim‘s classic loop from “My Melody“ for her first single. The remix features a verse by Def Jam President, Jay-Z.



What You Should Know:

For Immediate Release:

“Ass Appeal is a brand new gonzo line for viewers who just can‘t get enough ass. Exclusive director Van Styles has chosen the hottest young women with the fullest, fattest butts. Katrina Kraven, Sandra Romain and Gia Jordan are up-and-coming porn stars whose fabulous asses will drive you wild! Ass Appeal director Van Styles‘ gonzo camera work has won accolades from viewers and critics alike. His other HUSTLER series, Take It Black and Barely Legal: Corrupted have topped sales and rental charts. Ass Appeal looks set to follow the same path. Ass Appeal is full of nasty anal sex, multiple penetrations and some edgy ATM action, too. HUSTLER‘s gonzo products are the highest quality on the market. Now, viewers have an ass video that delivers the goods with no ifs, ands or buts!”

That, ladies, is why you should never put to much stock into a press releases. Read on to find out the “real” scoop about Ass Appeal and why you should add it to your permanent collection.

The Action:

Ayana Angel & Jada Fire

“You can‘t just run around and fuck people in the ass! It‘s just not right…it‘s against the law!” Scantily-clad peace officers Ayana Angel (Azz Fest 2) and Jada Fire (I’m Your Slut 3) begin Ass Appeal by arriving at the home of Van Styles and handing him a warrant to search his premises. The item they are hoping to locate? Mark Ashley. Jada grows impatient as she searches: “Where is he at?” “Probably fuckin‘ somebody in the ass right now,” Ayana answers. “You look like you be fuckin‘ in the ass, too,” she accuses Styles with a Pam Grier-like curl of her upper lip. Angel and Fire are really having a great time with the role-playing, hamming it up big time until they find Mark Ashley. “You got anything to say for yourself,” Ayana asks before slapping the cuffs on him and announcing that it‘s time for him to “go down.” Forced to his knees, Jada shoves Mark‘s face in Ayana‘s ass and then between her own tits. They share his rod like only two whores from the ‘hood can; spitting, slurping, sucking and titty-fucking before getting down to brass tacks and trying to fuck Ashley until he‘s too weak to go to the hoosegow. Under normal circumstances you‘d need two (or more) studs to handle even ONE of these ladies but Ashley is a man possessed today and he actually manages to fuck BOTH Ayana and Jada silly vaginally and anally, surprisingly them both and likely himself. You‘ll see in the extensive BTS, that Jada (virtually speechless) and especially Ayana (in a state of disbelief) are wowed by his stamina. Mark plowed both of their jellowy black asses into pudding until he coats their faces with cream; Jada’s mischievous braces-covered grin and the sight of Ayana‘s ATL hindparts jiggling every which way providing the best scene on the disc and one helluva an opener.



Gia Jordan

After getting off to somewhat of a slow start, Gia Jordan (Teen Latin Dolls) is someone who has earned a reputation in the business as being a little “off.” Always sporting a somewhat crazed look in her eyes, Gia talks about how she considers her ass to be her “second pussy“ and then walks indoors to find Kurt Lockwood. Jordan, to me, embodies the better parts of two latinas I don’t see much lately. She pushes the sexual envelope with a natural verve and aplomb like Max Hardcore’s sidekick, Catalina but packs that attitude and fiery intensity into a frame eerily reminiscent of early August. That‘s a pretty lethal combination and one Lockwood enjoys when Gia swoops down on his cock in a way that would make you question her sanity. Kurt throttles her pussy and ass on a winding staircase and a white sofa, eliciting such trashy exclamations as “Oh my fucking God -- YEAH!” and “Push it further down my throat! Shove my fuckin‘ ass down my goddamn throat… when gagging on Lockwood‘s tool ATM. Her lust for anal sex is genuine and it shows when Kurt rails her ass in reverse cowgirl, begging him to “kiss my dirty mouth“ after she grinds circles on his cock. Gia flashes us the “rawk on“ hand sign after Lockwood covers her face with cum. This is one spunky and insatiable latina.



Sandra Romain

A native of her namesake, Romania, I don‘t know if there‘s anything Sandra Romain won‘t do on-camera. I don‘t believe she leaves anything special for just at “home.” Sandra Romain holds nothing sacred, a pattern I’m beginning to see with every member of this cast thus far. With an all-natural body to kill for, Sandra makes me want to book an early flight for Eastern Europe and fast. She’s one of those rare ladies that doesn’t have to say a word or do anything: her body language just screams sex. Never has a cliché’ about “oozing sexuality” been more apropos. Kurt Lockwood is blindfolded and bound to a staircase so Romain takes advantage, undoing his pants and working over his dick with her hands and mouth. She looks at him with those seductive and dreamy bedroom eyes as she goes, bobbing and twisting her head around his shaft as she gags and says in broken English, “Yes, fuck my mouth more!” The way she uses her pussy on Lockwood in reverse cowgirl looks just plain UNFAIR, as I‘m sure I would‘ve nutted so hard I‘d have sent her flying back up the staircase and lodged her head in the ceiling. She starts with a slow and slinking snake-like grind eventually working her way up to a full-bore, full-tilt, all-out piston-like FUCKING where she‘s banged so hard her feet don‘t even touch the floor and it sounds as if she‘s speaking in tongues. Her fantastic and perky little handfuls bounce rapidly in unison with each of Lockwood’s hammering thrusts. I have yet to see a scene with Romain where she didn‘t act as if it may be her last and she wasn‘t totally immersed in the moment. This selection is no exception. Lucky Kurt. He got the PSE of a lifetime as Sandra completely lost herself, as per usual, with his cock buried deep in her ass. Romain let it ALL hang out with maximum effect and then lies back and basks in Kurt‘s hot spunk on her face. I‘ve really got to get my travel agent on the phone.



Sydnee Capri

I predicted a lot of ass-related work for Sydnee the minute I saw her derriere in Gangland White Boy Stomp 15 and thank Heaven, those premonitions have been coming to pass. This is a black starlet, like Jada and Ayana before her, who isn‘t afraid of anal or getting a little (or a lot) of jism on her grill. “That‘s a lot of ass for a 19-year-old,” notes Van Styles. It‘s so much ass that Mark Wood‘s boner is already bursting through his boxers at the mere sight of it. Capri blows him with care and then lets him split that booty doggie vag and cowgirl anal, Mark’s dick literally disappearing in the fleshy mass that is her expansive ass. Bent over a chair, Sydnee grabs a hold of both cheeks and spreads her ass wide for Wood to pound her bung doggie and then lies on her back and does the same in mish. Capri goes into some labored breathing right before Wood brings her to an ear-splitting assgasm and jerks his jizz out right over Sydnee‘s open mouth. Yes, black girls get nasty, too.



Katrina Kraven

Lord Have Mercy. The words fly from between my lips aloud before I even realize what‘s going on. I know whose ass I‘m looking at and I know I‘m sitting in a room watching this movie alone, but that‘s the type of reaction an ass like this elicits. I‘m pretty sure Katrina Kraven‘s ass has inspired even more illogical behavior than just making grown men talk to themselves. I realize with every shot of her from behind, I can‘t help myself. She knocks on Van‘s door, carrying a plunger and a toolbox, wearing tight barely-there denim “Daisy Duke“ cutoff shorts, a tight zip-up black top, wheat workboots and some powder blue-striped tube socks that would have gone perfectly with what she wore in Belladonna‘s “Fucking Girls“. When she stops and Van focuses on her ass again, “Oh Hell Naw“ leaps from my throat. Styles lets Katrina in to fix his broken sink; his camera trailing her ass down the hallway. After she fixes Van‘s sink in a jiff, he says he has another problem with “multiple clogged pipes.” Brett Rockman, Mark Wood and Arnold are those pipes but Katrina doesn‘t look the least bit concerned: “I told you -- clogged pipes are my specialty.”

It’s no secret I’m unabashed and unapologetic mark for Double K. And I swear each time Van shoots her, he sees just how far he can push her next. Don’t bother me none, I know my girl is up for it. Witness the way she two-fists two cocks while yet another rests between her breasts. You don’t have enough dicks on-set to occupy this woman. The guys play ring around the hoe-sy with Kraven, taking turns fucking her doggie and cowgirl and then DP’ing her airtight cowgirl and reverse. She goes one-on-one with each of them anal mish, spreading her pussy wide with her index fingers and rubbing her clit. Like Drano, Kraven finally releases all three backed up pipes, sperm flying in every direction over her face as they come unclogged. Katrina never scuffs her boots. This plays like a continuation of her “Azz Fest 5“ scene with Rockman and Wood, just upping the ante with Arnold thrown into the mix. With Styles and Darkko utilizing Kraven so much, when’s that other ass aficionado finally gonna get the hint?


Bonus Materials:

• Behind the Scenes (24:50; lots of silliness and horseplay with Ayana and Jada, makeup char interview with Katrina Kraven and Van toying with his new camera)
• Slide Show (3:33, self-advancing, 36 photos)
• Ads for Hustler.com & Hustler Hollywood (one minute television ad)
• Trailers (Black & Wild 13, Professianals 6, Cumswappers, Can You Be a Pornstar 3 & 4, Ghetto Booty 14, Best of Real College Girls; play individually or option to “play all“)

What I Liked:
Styles‘ camera was like a Visa card in this flick -- it was everywhere I wanted to be. I generally don‘t comment on camerawork that much unless it‘s terribly bad but in this case I have to make an exception because the views and the angles of the action that Van caught were, well, exceptional. There also wasn‘t a half-stepping dame in this cast. Every bitch “brought it“, making a flick you can watch from beginning to end. This is the “Only Built 4 Cuban Linx“ of Van’s ass-themed movies.

What I Disliked:
It‘s somewhat unforgivable that Hustler would airbrush off Kraven‘s tattoos on the boxcover. This is porn. Not even the NBA goes so far as to alter images of Allen Iverson for press releases. What gives Hustler the right to digitally dick around with Katrina’s appearance? It‘s a disturbing and dangerous (not to mention dishonest) precedent that I don‘t wish to see continue. On one hand, it‘s somewhat false advertising, showing her on the cover like that and then when you watch the movie, both biceps are covered in ink. And on the other hand, it makes me wonder what‘s next? Doctoring the content on the inside of the box, too?

Overall:
My, how I have missed Azz Fest but this has turned out to be more than a suitable replacement. Solid action from top to bottom, bookended by two pre-nom-worthy scenes by Ayana & Jada and Katrina Kraven. Unlike some installments of Azz Fest, every girl in this cast did anal and with GUSTO. This is a step up from the Azz Fest series and I really can’t wait for Ass Appeal 2 featuring a scene with Olivia O’Lovely and Ice La Fox along with Aiden Layne, Jayna Oso, Gia Paloma and the legendary Tiffany Mynx. You won’t want to miss that one, I can assure you. Highly recommended.

Crucifixio Jones