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Blood Lake

Blood Lake

Studio: VCA
Category:  Feature film
Directed by:
Starring: , , , , , , ,
Released on: 
Where to buy:DVD NewDVD RentStreaming/Download
classix comment's ratings for Blood Lake:
Overall Rating 0 stars
Blood Lake overall rating 1/2 star
Female Looks Blood Lake Female looks rating 2.5 stars
Male Looks Blood Lake Male looks rating 2.5 stars
Sex Blood Lake Sex rating 2.5 stars
Plot/Acting Blood Lake Plot/Acting rating 1/2 star
Extras Blood Lake DVD Extras rating 1 star
Audio/Video Quality Blood Lake A/V Quality rating 2 stars
Rating Scale
Reviewed by classix comment  on  1/5/2008

Initial Thoughts
A hardcore/splatter film combo. Sounds promising, right???

The Film
I've had a long standing beef with VCA. They pride themselves on having the largest collection of quality hardcore films in the world, which they do, but when said films are released on DVD, they are almost always cut of any possibly objectionable (usually violent) content.
In the last five years however, VCA has been trying to better their reputation at least in their current productions by giving opportunities to more visionary and original directors such as Eon McKai. So, when I read in a zine that this movie was coming out I was kinda excited. Well, I should have known better.
Blood Lake calls itself an homage to slasher films and shot-on-video porn of the 80s (the former I like, the latter usually not). But hey, the title sounded good. It opens with a bunch of hillbilly looking types driving around in a car going to some campground. They talk a lot, although none of what they say is important and seems to be the product of bad improv. Then hey get to a silly little bungalow with a fire pit.
After some more dumb talking one of the girls finds a book called a "blood book" and another one of the morons tries to read it aloud for a few minutes.
That's it for the plot. What happens for the other 70 minutes of this 70 minute pile of crap is a lot of sex and occasional cuts to a guy who looks like the killer from an obscure giallo named Fatal Frames running around and trying to be creepy. Eventually one of the bumpkins "dies," but it's more like he gets hit (obviously staged) with an axe and then some jello comes out of his mouth.
I'm not quite sure what happens at the end but it's not like it matters. There are about 20 minutes of talking (I won't say dialogue because I highly doubt it was scripted) about inane nonsense that has nothing to do with anything. The rest of the movie is comprised of boring sex scenes with musical scores which sound like they were ripped from late 80s dirt cheap porn.
Director, and I'll use the term lightly, C.L. Gregory has created not only the worst slasher movie ever as well as one of the most tedious viewing experiences I've ever experienced. The photography is terrible, the editing is laughably inept, the acting is non existent as is the gore.
I'm tempted to ask for my money back as this thing was so bad. Ironically, had this been made in the 80s, it might have been kinda cool as most shot on video porn of that period really does suck. But it wasn't. It's not cool, and neither am I right now for owning it.

The Extras
Nothing relevant to the movie (not that I would have cared much to see them) but we do see some trailers for other stuff including a Joanna Angel movie which looks pretty funny (even though it probably sucks too).

A/V Quality
This movie looks like shit. It was not white balanced so all the flesh tones look either yellow or white. The sound, although video, looks post-synched.

Cuts Warning
Maybe, somewhere there is a version of this movie, in some alternate universe, which actually has gore, a story, acting, direction, watchable photography, and decent lighting. Nope. This is it.

Final Thoughts
If anyone wants to buy on of the worst movies ever (not to watch, just own) go for it! Otherwise, just about anything else would be better than this.

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The opinions expressed in this review of Blood Lake from VCA are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.