What Gets You Off Review

Reviewed by Crucifixio Jones  on  11/9/2004

what gets you off…

2004, 1 hour 52 minutes
3rd Degree
Directed by Chris Streams
Starring Cytherea, Julie Silver, Trinity, Katie Gold, Jane Darling



The Knowledge:

Working in adult for more than eighteen years, Joey Wilson, has helped revitalize Rosebud Video and assisted in ushering in Metro‘s FusXion brand. This summer he decided to launch his own company, Third Degree and immediately signed uber-talented Zero Tolerance lensman Chris Streams as his first exclusive contract director. With their similar approaches to marketing and the way their films are shot (what do you expect with one the same guys behind the camera?), Third Degree has earned an unfair reputation as a Zero Tolerance copycat, ZT, Jr. or ZT Lite. Nothing could be further from the truth. You have to do no more than actually watch a Third Degree product to figure out that they are carving out a niche all their own and do not have to rely on mimicking anyone else‘s successes. They produce high-quality smut with an edge and shoot all the beautiful dirty girls the fans are clamoring to see. If everyone else isn‘t careful and doesn‘t take note, they‘ll all be left in the dust trying to imitate Third Degree rather than the other way around.

The Action:

Jane Darling

There are worse ways to start out a flick than with the delectable Czech Jane Darling. If it‘s one thing about 3rd Degree, they‘ve certainly made me fans of girls I had seen in other movies before but for some reason had just overlooked or didn’t find memorable. These same woman somehow end up looking and performing much better for director Chris Streams and the image of them remains scorched into the back of my brain. Angel Dark (Crack Addict, Don’t Tell My Daddy, Share the Load) and Laura Lion (Camel Hoes) are two girls that spring to mind. Jane Darling is another. My exposure to Darling began in January of this year with Ass Cleavage 3 before extending to Double Decker Sandwich 3, Big Tit Brotha Lovers 3 & 4 and Big Natural Tits 12, but until I saw 3rd Degree’s Up'R Class I hadn’t really SEEN Darling. In everything else, she was just another long-legged blonde natural floppy titted Euro talent. In her 3rd Degree shoots, she’s been the Czech Most Likely to Make CJ Lose His Load by Just Walking Onscreen. This scene is no different: tackling two well-hung studs she sucks their cocks like she needs them for life support and rides them both like her favorite amusement park ride. She’s absolutely beautiful throughout it all, her tits bouncing everywhere while all of her orifices stay packed with hard prick. After reverse cowgirl anal with both men individually, they combine efforts to DP Jane cowgirl and reverse. Darling, meanwhile, never misses a beat, as energetic, horny and nasty as she is gorgeous. She jerks both men off onto her face with glee, sucking and stroking them to the very last drop.


Trinity

Doing a sultry tease in the center of a room stands Pleasure Productions contract girl, Trinity. To add to her fantastic boob job, Trinity has a unique look due to her American Indian and Italian genes and a hard body honed to perfection from yoga and hours spent in the gym. Today she‘s faced with the task of tackling the bent boner of muscleman Lee Stone which could prove to be quite the workout and perhaps even a chance to test how flexible her yoga has made her. Stone immediately throws Trinity over his shoulder and makes her suck his cock upside down while he runs his tongue down into her pussy. When he‘s tasted enough, he tosses her over to the sofa and fucks her pussy doggie while holding one of Trinity‘s long legs over his shoulder, exposing those flat abs of hers for the camera. Cowgirl and mish follow, the anal mish being an especially impressive visual with Trinity‘s legs sometimes spread wide and what seems like across the entire room or at other times just high in the air in a “V“ formation while she licks her fingers and slowly rubs at her clit. After fucking her ass a lot more in a variety of positions (standing doggie, reverse cowgirl, standing reverse cowgirl and piledriver; all with some ass-to-mouth during the transitions) Lee jerks some spurts onto Trinity‘s tongue and face. She swallows what lands in her mouth and uses her fingers to collect and eat the rest.


Katie Gold

“I‘m Katie fuckin‘ Gold, of course you‘re looking‘ at me!” Remember ‘lil Katie Gold? Well, forget her because our new Katie is all grow‘d up now. While the cute and perky tiny natural tits remain, seven-year veteran Gold has filled out nicely everywhere else and if you‘ve seen her turn in this year‘s Big Wet Asses 4 in the bonus footage, you know exactly what I‘m talking about. You don‘t get into that series without packing some serious luggage and she’s working the pink fishnet outfit she’s wearing here today. She also made a splash (no pun intended) in Elegant Angel‘s Tales From the Toilet and Squirtwoman 2 that has seemingly marked somewhat of a ‘return‘ for Katie and a re-dedication to performing as frequently as she once did in the late ‘90s. Katie takes her time getting her nipples hard and fingering her ass before lying back, her head hanging upside down over the edge of a sofa and letting Dillon Day fuck her face like an inmate fresh outta the joint. After widening her throat, Dillon then takes to widening Katie‘s pussy mish and then her asshole reverse cowgirl and doggie. All Katie can do to keep up is hold on to the edge of the sofa, pray for dear life and bite her knuckles. Dillon goes hard in all the following positions as well, from anal mish to cowgirl until he drops gobs of goo all over Katie‘s sweet lil mouth.


Julie Silver

I have never seen nor heard of Julie Silver before this very moment but it‘s just something about her, the aura she exudes that tells me that she‘s going to win me over with her very first attempt. She‘s quite the dirty talker and she enjoys licking her own nipples for us as well as rapidly and forcefully shoving as many as four fingers in and out of her sopping wet pussy and asshole. Two hard dicks enter stage left and right and Silver knows just what to do with them. After giving wet sloppy blowjobs to both men, she hops onto one of them cowgirl for a bit before hopping off and sucking her juices off while getting pounded doggie in the ass by the other. So far, Silver‘s the only woman to surpass Darling‘s sensuality and enthusiasm. What do they feed these women in Czechia? Whatever the ingredients, it seemingly makes them impervious and unafraid of DP’s because that’s what Julie gets next where she fucks those two dicks inside of her back just as hard as she’s getting it. Moving to a cowgirl DP, Julie deep throats both cocks super DEEP ass-to-mouth before continuing her double penetration plugging. The guys jerk off onto her face and tongue one at a time and Julie alternately sucks them both back and forth before fading to the final scene.


Cytherea

Don‘t let Cytherea‘s demure look deceive you. There‘s a reason her scene is last, there‘s a reason why she‘s on the cover. Cytherea is the thing wet dreams are made of. And if you didn‘t get that pun, this is obviously you‘re first time seeing Cytherea and having seen this scene at least twice before seeing it now, I can honestly tell you that you couldn‘t have picked a better jumping off point. After some tease, Cytherea kneels and is met with the dick of Mr. Pete. She sucks it as lustily as one can, grunting and groaning, taking in deep breaths and staring it down like it were her nemesis, but one she LOVES to hate. Cy‘s in a strange place performance-wise today; everything Pete does to her is met with a zest I‘ve never seen Cytherea display before. After letting Pete fuck her face and begging for more, she mounts him reverse cowgirl and rides that boy like her childhood hobby horse until she squirts and convulses all over him at least three times, splattering the camera with her spray. She sucks her juices off of Pete‘s dick like the fate of all mankind rests on how well she does it and then proceeds to get banged doggie until she squirts twice more (her second orgasm makes her tiny body collapse and she falls to the floor in a trembling heap), causing her to reach out for things that don‘t exist and beg Pete through clenched teeth not to stop fucking her. In spoon, I don‘t think Cy can even see straight, she‘s cum so many times and she‘s lost all control of her motor functions. They don‘t stay here long, however, as Pete moves Cytherea to a stool where he rails her pussy mish, her legs spread wide to give us a primo view of her snatch being pounded and the spray that‘s sure to follow. Cy‘s demands have been reduced to barely decipherable gibberish, her eyes are rolled back into her head and her body is quaking like a heroin junkie in desperate need of a fix. Pete begins to rub her clit as he fucks her and this sets off a chain reaction that makes Cy squirt nearly seven or eight times in a row, each stream as long and strong as the first. Now I‘ve seen Cytherea squirt A LOT of times since she hit the scene, but NEVER like that. Of course, Cy‘s a shuddering jumble of nerves who can‘t even speak the English language right now. That can‘t be good. One day we‘re going to find out that orgasms that intense kill brain cells, like marijuana or ecstasy or something. Pete turns Cytherea around doggie on the same stool and fucks her pussy while it hangs over the edge. After three or four strong squirts, the stool is soaked with Cytherea‘s cum. After her last orgasm, Cy hops to her knees and gets her sweaty face soaked with Pete‘s jizz. Staring directly at the camera and out of breath Cytherea says, “If you don‘t know who I am by now, you know who the FUCK I am now.” Ain‘t nothing I can say to really top that; that pretty much says it all.


Extras:

Twenty-one minute Behind the Scenes featurette, Cum Shot Loop, a photo gallery and trailers for other 3rd Degree releases (Ass Cream, Camel Hoes, Up’R Class, The Wetter The Better & New Releases).

Comments:

I‘ve only missed one of Third Degrees discs since their inception (Share the Load) and there‘s a good reason for this. Even if the cast isn‘t to your liking (which has honestly never been a problem), their DVDs are technically sound and well put together while the material on them is worthy of such a high-end presentation and shot impressively by a guy who‘s probably the most underrated yet best cameraman in the business right now. He has an uncanny knack for making everything he shoots look great and his company makes sure that he really doesn‘t have to due to their own personal commitment to quality. What Gets You Off is another winner in what seems to be an unending string of successes for Third Degree. Keep‘em coming, Wilson, Streams and Co.

Crucifixio Jones