Viva La Bus Review

Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  7/17/2009

Armed with banana chips, candy hearts and some $100 bills, Dirty Sanchez, his driver, Ugly, (he's called "faggot" quite a bit, too) and Dirty's "aborted" Baby D, (a skeleton doll that wears a tiny "I love bitches" t-shirt) takes us for a loooooooooooooon ride on the Bang Bus as the trio scours the streets of Miami looking for chicks in VIVA LA BUS-VOLUME 1. (2008, Cezar Capone) This three hour and ten minute ride sputters along with endless chatter then finally works its way to some back seat sexcapades that occur while the van zips along the streets and nearby highways and byways of Miami. It's a great concept, but the slacker humor wears out its welcome, plus Dirty has a hard time filming this stuff as the ol' Bang bus bounces and trounces along, especially in the rather crowded third scene with a girl/girl/guy trio (and Dirty) huddled in the rear.

Jasmin "Over the River and Through the Woods"---Scene 1

Dirty convinces a busty Columbian, Jasmin, to suck and fuck for money in order to pay for Grandma's monthly medicine. First, the bus stops to pick up her fuck buddy, a 19 year old Cuban guy named Placido or Lazaro or whatever. 40 minutes into this scene, Jasmin finally shows a bit of skin then settles into some standard straight sex stuff (condom used) on the back seat of the Bang Bus. Lazaro drops his load on her nice tits for the cumshot finale then the bus leaves her ass on the side of the road while she's trying to squat down to pee. Uhg. Way too long, way too silly---!! outa !!!!!

Carmela "Van Slumming"---Scene 2

A guy named Cuba joins Dirty and Ugly in the van and witnesses a taco tossed around in the front seat. The boys finally spot Carmela out in the streets. Dirty tempts her with a $100 bill handed to her on the end of a clear plastic stick-thingee. She gives the impression that she really doesn't care about the money so the only thing that interests her must be fucking Cuba in the Bang Bus. She chats with Dirty about her Native American heritage, smokes a cigarette, takes of her top and reveals perfect, small, sexy breasts. Carmela looks fabulous kneeling in her tight jeans and showing off her incredible naked upperhalf with a cute "outie" belly button in view. A naked Carmela finally sits on the back seat with Cuba; she rubs her pussy then a BJ and straight sex action (condom use) follow with the beautiful Carmela. Cuba lands his cumshot in her thick black hair all the way down to her belly button. Another scene that's way too long but Carmela is a cutie---!!! outa !!!!!

Madison "Three to Tango"---Scene 3

Savanah and J-Mac are already in the bus when Dirty and Ugly pull over to talk with Madison, a cute, pale gal with short straight reddish hair that often covers up her right eye. She climbs on board and after a good 25 minutes of chit chat and foolishness both gals pop their boobs outa their tops. Later, Savanah gives dumbass J-Mac a blowjob, while he's busy with his lottery scratch off card. Stupid. Both gals work on J-mac for awhile, then Madison takes most of the straight sex stuff (no condom used) until Savanah takes the cumshot in her mouth and spills a clump onto Madison's mouth. It's a busy scene and the extra bodies restrict Dirty's roaming and filming about the back of the van. My favorite bit was Madison riding cowgirl and freaking out when someone's eyes in a passing vehicle met hers. Alas, this scene is also way too long. The girls are fine, the guys acted idiotic---!! 1/2 outa !!!!!

VIVA LA BUS has precious few extras (a three minute slide show and three trailers) but, trust me, these three 1 hour scenes should be more than enough. Too bad Dirty Sanchez spends too much time f*ing around because VIVA LA BUS-VOLUME 1 (2008, Cezar Capone) needs at least an hour cut from its running time. Maybe next time, Dirty and Ugly and Baby D will take the time to edit and make some 30 minute scenes on the bouncy, trouncy Bang Bus. Final rating for VIVA LA BUS is !! outa !!!!!