Virtual Sex With Jesse Jane Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  4/18/2004

The Little Details

Running Time: approx. 120 min. including both angles

Production Date: 7 / 31 / 2003

Director: Joone

Cast: Jesse Jane and “you”

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: I’ve had decent luck out of this series, and am going into this one with some fair hopes.

Initial Reaction: It’s nicely done, and a must have for every fan of Jesse Jane.

Who Should Watch It : Fans of virtual sex and buxom bleached blondes

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting a little virtual anal sex

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are very nicely done. Jesse’s voice comes across clearly, and I didn’t notice any background noises. The video is much the same. It’s sharp, and looks about as good as one could hope.

Music: The only music is during the strip tease, and there it’s the only audio. It fits well, but isn’t anything overly special.

Disc Complaints: There’s a pair of commercials for Digital Playground at the start of the feature that you can’t skip past. It’s extremely annoying, and something that’s always annoyed me about Digital Playground’s DVDs.

Menus: The menus have kept with the usual format for this series. The main menu features Jesse standing and waiting while you make your choice on the menu below to start with. The sex selection menu then works itself around the edges of the screen with icons so large that Ray Charles could probably see them.

The Feature

Virtual Sex with Jesse Jane brings Digital Playground’s latest contract girl to the world of sex simulations. For anybody who hasn’t seen Jesse yet, she looks like a young Barbie doll. I apologize if Ms. Jane reads this and is offended, but as much as I tried to find another way to describe her, nothing summed up her looks better to me. She’s a tiny little bleached blonde with huge gazoombas, a bald beaver, a great ass, and a fairly plastic look to her. Although this look works for plenty of people, I can’t say that I’m overly impressed with it.

Joone and Digital Playground give you plenty of what you’ve come to expect from the Virtual Sex With series already. Of course there’s a strip tease, and in Jesse’s she puts on a nice little show starting out in a black bra and black and pink panties. I’m not sure if I noticed something wrong or not, but there were also two teases here, one lasting about two minutes and the other lasting about four and a half (which started with the original two minutes). This had me checking back a little, but the tease was the only place in the release where I could find multiple versions of a selection. There’s also a story option, which acts almost like an interview. Jesse talks about herself in a voiceover while she dances around in a few outfits in front of a changing background. The main thing, however, is the virtual sex. For foreplay, you can finger Jesse, fuck her with a dildo, or play with her pussy or ass. There’s also a few oral sex options. You can eat her pussy, which comes off as hokey as it does in every other virtual sex simulator, have Jesse suck your cock, or even titty fuck you. Finally, you can fuck Jesse missionary style, doggie style, or in each of the cowgirls.

The sex comes across very nicely, with each major loop lasting about two minutes. In the main angle you get a POV perspective on things while the alternate angle either gives you a close-up or a side view of what’s going on. They’re all true multiple angles, and all worked well. The camera nicely focuses on Jesse in the main angle so that she remains the focus of the scene rather than getting too close or too far. Jesse helps the sex work even better by showing a distinctive difference between the innocent and naughty moods, keeping things soft and sweet while innocent and energetic with plenty of trash talking for the naughty mood. Finally, the sex loops work well. They don’t always loop perfectly, but they’re normally close.

One of the biggest problems with many virtual sex releases in the past has been the pop shots. Many of them were computerized and extremely cheezy, while others tried faking wet pops. Here the pops are handled nicely. Each orgasm sequence lasts about thirty five seconds during the sex and about a minute during the oral sex and foreplay. There’s a couple real pops, which Jesse takes nicely as a creampie during each cowgirl, and she also takes a very nice facial. The titty fucking, missionary, and doggie style pops I’m not quite sure of. They look just a little off, and although obviously wet, often seemed to come from right under the cock rather than out of the cock. I could be wrong, and apologize to the uncredited male talent here if I am, but the pops appeared faked to me. That said, they’re also the best looking fake pops I’ve seen, and unless you look really closely (which I have a tendency to do with virtual sex movies due to the cumshots of the past), you probably won’t notice.

All that said, Virtual Sex with Jesse Jane isn’t a perfect virtual sex title, partially due to Jesse and partially due to Digital Playground. My problems started with Jesse’s looks. I know that a lot of people find her drop dead gorgeous, but she just looks fake to me. She’s cute, but she doesn’t have close to a natural look, and I almost always find natural more appealing than fake. My other problem with Jesse was her vocals. I love that she does a lot of both sweet talking and trash talking (depending on the mood), but her trash talking had me laughing almost every time. I’m not sure how I could have any other response when Jesse’s letting loose with lines like “Feel that moisturizing, bitch!”.

Then there are the problems from Digital Playground. First there’s the black background. Supposedly this was for some new technology that was coming out, and if memory serves came out a couple years ago. From what I’ve seen, that technology flopped as I haven’t heard of it since Digital Playground hyped having it at a show a couple years ago. Now it just makes things look cheap, especially because other companies are using exotic, beautiful, and fun locations. The programming of the disc also struck me as extremely egotistical. The only things that work on the remote are the menu, play, stop, pause, and power buttons. This isn’t a big deal some of the time, but if you accidently select the tease or story choices, you either get to sit through the three minutes or restart the disc and sit through Digital Playground’s forced commercials as the sex menus disappear for these segments. I also got the egotistical feeling from the menu icons. Compared to what everybody else out there seems to be using, Digital Playground’s icons are freaking huge! They cover up some of the action quite a few times, and although I wasn’t particularly taken with Jesse’s looks, I sure as heck didn’t want to see her head covered up by a picture of a couple stick figures bumping uglies! I can understand Digital Playground wanting to keep a unified feel to their series, but I think things could be tweaked a little here to keep some of the same feel while improving it quite a bit. Finally there’s a couple problems with the loops. If you watch the orgasm sequence, it normally kept looping the orgasm sequence rather than going back to the sex. Also, the feature defaulted to the innocent side of things, which made things seem a bit off when you switched positions or sex acts. Most of these are fairly minor problems, but they’re also problems that everybody else seems to have moved past.

Virtual Sex with Jesse Jane is a good virtual sex simulator, but still leaves quite a bit to be desired. It’s biggest strength is Jesse Jane, who plays to the camera wonderfully throughout the entire DVD. She does one of the best jobs I’ve seen in a virtual sex title, varying her moods very well and turning out high energy segments. She goes over the top a bit, which held things back for me a bit, but Digital Playground’s apparent ego held things back much more. While other companies are showing improvement with almost every virtual sex DVD they release, Digital Playground feels like it’s stuck. By the end of Virtual Sex with Jesse Jane I couldn’t help but wonder where the rest of the DVD was, and left things a bit disappointed despite Joone and Jesse Jane doing a good job.

The Extra Stuff

None. I guess some people consider the stories and tease extras, but with how the DVD is presented I consider it part of the feature.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, interactive sex, toys, spanking, tease, titty fucking, and cream pie

Raincoat Factor: Very high

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, most of the Virtual Sex With... series can be found online for between $20 and $35 with many stores offering it for under $25. Unless you’re a diehard Jesse Jane fan, I’d suggest renting this one first. It’s nicely done, but doesn’t offer as much as quite a bit of the virtual sex competition out there. The technical aspects and sex are nice, but there’s nothing for extras.

Note to Digital Playground: Loosen up a bit! Disabling all the controls on the remote doesn’t sit well with many people, and I have yet to see anybody who’s happy to be forced to watch a commercial for a company every time they put one of that company’s DVDs in their player. It gets even worse when the commercial is the only one they’ve really seen for that company.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

Other reviews by Astroknight