Up and Cummers 31 Review

Reviewed by Diville  on  10/31/2000

Starring: Stacy Valentine, Shane Tyler, Alexia, Mahogany, Bridgette Belle, Randy West, Vince Voyeur, Alex Sanders, DJX

Directed By: Randy West

Stacy Valentine is really a special piece of work. All those curves. All that enthusiasm. All that sweat. Really, it's as if she's been genetically engineered to fuck for our entertainment. I'm sure she's also a very nice girl, and I suspect she'd be fun to talk to about things other than sex, but until she pays me a visit to engage in polite dinner conversation, I'm going to think of her in sexual terms. Besides, how fun is it to fantasize about conversation?

Up & Cummers 31 is all about Stacy Valentine. There are three other scenes on the disc, but they're really irrelevant. Stacy is the star of the show. Randy West was lucky enough to get Stacy for his long running pro-am series before she hit the porn big time, as he has been fortunate to do with other starlets. After all, that is the purpose of his line. Stacy really hasn't evolved much from the time she entered the business, though. You'd be hard pressed to tell which point in her career this was shot as she has changed very little over the last couple of years. She's always had the same bright face, the same giggly girl next door charm, the same ripe body, and the same ability to use it in ways our perverted minds could only previously imagine. Maybe the fact she hasn't changed much will keep the sells of this DVD down. Earlier installments with an extremely young and petite Jenna Jameson definitely have more of that "before they were stars" appeal. Still, I welcome any opportunity to watch Stacy Valentine in motion. She could do jumping jacks for half an hour, and I would be happy. So, know that I have my biases.

Surprisingly, Randy doesn't put himself in Stacey's scene. Instead, he invites her over to his house, puts her on his bed, and after a brief interview throws Vince Voyeur at her and keeps himself quiet as they do whatever they want to do at the pace they want to do it. Sure, this is all shot with a hand held video camera, but I don't mind. I like the intimacy. Also, I like listening to the sounds of them having sex instead of some non copyrighted porn music. Vince and Stacy look like they are genuinely into each other, and before long they prove it. There just aren't many angles or positions Stacy doesn't look good in, and you see a lot of them here. Eventually, she brings herself up on her knees and presents her big round ass to Vince who happily accepts it. After a few minutes of some really nice looking anal sex, he finally bays like a jackass to announce his orgasm. And Stacy, god bless her, lifts her head and says, "You've got to blow it in my mouth!" And so he does.

Everything else is just filler. Randy has a tendency to collect a lot of footage over time and then make his movies out of what he has. Surely, there were better scenes on the shelf than the ones he chose to include here. Had he just added one or two more hot moments, this would be a classic, but he includes nothing else that's going to sell this edition.

Bridgette Belle is an average looking brunette who only agrees to masturbate. Feel comfortable skipping right over her scene, because there's nothing much there. Next is a pretty black girl who calls herself Mahogany, a name that could only be less subtle if it were actually "Black Girl." A lot of people will like her though. There's a Vanessa Del Rio look about her. Not just because she's wild eyed, but also because she's got one of the biggest clits you'll ever see. Maybe Randy is intimidated by it, because he goes nowhere near her; he gives the honor to Alex Sanders. I was left unimpressed. Maybe it's unfair to follow Stacy Valentine, but Mahogany does very little for me.

Lastly, Shane Tyler and her husband DJX introduce Randy to their friend Alexia. Forgive me if this is unfair, but the three of them together look like a panel on the Jerry Springer show. I'm going to guess that between them, they own at least one broken car sitting in the front yard and several Lynyrd Skynyrd albums. Alexia looks just like any another girl you'll find in everyday life, only she has a set of bolt on titties. DJX reminds me of any number of moccasin boot wearing mullet heads I went to high school with. That doesn't make him a bad person; those guys were my friends. You just don't look forward to watching people like that have sex. Shane Tyler has been around for awhile, and even though she's a little heavier now than she used to be, her body is outstanding. I always thought she could have been a big star with a little refinement. It's a shame a girl that looks like her is mixed up in a scene like this. I would much rather watch Shane Tyler alone than have her scene marred by those around her.

As for extras, don't go expecting much. Besides a couple of trailers for other Up and Cummers editions, there's only a photo gallery and some well put together menus. Otherwise, the only thing this has to offer is Stacy Valentine.

It's difficult to put a bottom line on a movie like this. Stacy is worth the price of admission, which is good since nothing else in Up and Cummers 31 is. I have no problem recommending this to her fans. If you you're just looking for an introduction to her, though, you can fine better DVDs out there. This is for fans only, and lucky for me, I'm a fan.