United Colors of Ass 10 Review

Reviewed by BigDaddy_GFS  on  3/6/2004

As a consumer of adult films, I have grown to expect certain things . . . lousy dialogue, horrible boob jobs, bad editing, and a herd of trashy-looking platinum blondes filling each frame. But some films have at least tried to break from the pack. Such a film is ‘United Colors of Ass #10'. Besides a title that brings a snicker whenever I see it in print, this film brings an impressive multiracial cast of women into one of the better films I’ve seen in recent years.

Right at the beginning scene, we see Teanna Kai as a secretary at an upscale modeling agency. She greets Daisy Marie Dukes who has shown up for an interview. Daisy, the lovely and petite little latina eagerly offers sexual favors to her prospective boss, Chris Cannon. Soon afterward, Cannon drives Miss Daisy through a steamy office escapade. Starting with some missionary desktop action, and working through the expected sequence of positions – doggie, cowgirl, etc . . . Cannon and Daisy get nasty on every piece of furniture in the room.

In the second scene, Simone gets busy with a guy named Talon. Daisy shows up as this couple is doing a photo shoot. She watches for a bit, but then disappears as things heat up. The tiny latin star, Simone. shows promise, and does some notable moaning during the romp.

India is next in line as the third scene unfolds. Complaining she didn’t get her cover and centerfold gig, she tries to convince the modeling agent to turn up the heat. And the sizeable Lee Stone does just that. With arms nearly as thick as her waist, he turns the little lady every which way but loose. During the scene, Stone flaunts his upper body strength by lifting India off the floor and flipping her upside down, for a standing 69. This is followed by a flying cowgirl, in which he turns her right side up again, and bounces her up and down on his swollen member. The scene finishes with some anal probing, and the obligatory facial money shot.

Next up is an odd girl-girl scene with Crissy Moran and Teanna Kai. Despite having two of the sexiest females in the industry, this scene was a bit bland. It relied heavily on fetishes, rather than fucking. Teanna spent a long time spanking Crissy’s pussy and ass with a small riding crop as Crissy made cutesy little noises. Instead of muff-diving, Crissy goes down on Teanna’s spiked pumps. By the tie these two chicks started the actual fingering and cunnilingus, I was bored, and ready for the next scene to start.

In the final scene, we see Rio Mariah, with Tony Tedeschi This encounter seemed awkward and rushed. Scarcely thirty seconds of oral preceded a jumbled medley of sexual positions as Mr. ‘T’ goes immediately for the back door entry. For all the world, it left the impression that Tedeschi had an urgent appointment to go to, and needed to wrap this scene ASAP. He frequently started a few seconds of pumping, then pulled out for some fellatio, then switched to a new position. Mariah appeared duly frustrated, if not perturbed by the erratic antics.

This film started off with a bang, but whimpered toward the end. The women were scorching hot, and at least in the first three scenes, so was the sex. This bevy of ethnically diverse beauties provided ample eye candy for the audience. The female performances were all quite good. The males, however, seemed to have problems all around. Chris Cannon lost wood halfway through his scene with Daisy. This made for an obvious rough edit to finish with a second take. While banging Simone, pretty boy Talon got a little rough, and Simone obviously felt discomfort during the pounding.

I recommend this film based on the first three scenes, not on the remaining two. The female cast runs the spectrum of ethnic flavors . . . Latin, Asian, Caucasian, African-American. Surely, something here will satisfy your sexual palate.