UK Biggest Boobs Review

Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  1/11/2016

Di Santo edits and directs UK's Biggest Boobs Vol. 1 (2014, UK Porn Kings) with 5 scenes, no extras but some massive tits. This by-the-numbers production also loses points for cheapie set environs that detract. No condoms. Widescreen. About 1 hour and 45 minutes.

"Oh Ritchie?"

"Yea, BOne!"

"You wanna take this one?"

"Yea-hea, BOne, what-cha got?"

"Some big boobed Brits for ya."

"Are they black haired?"

"Yea, except for the blonde at the beginning."

"Okaaay, I'll give it a goooooo!"

So, below is the UK's biggest boob of a porn reviewer, Ritchie the Brit's review of THE UK'S BIGGEST BOOBS VOL. 1.

Blonde and tattooed DELTA WHITE sucks and fucks some bloke on a white couch with lotsa white light twirlin' round, she does. She wears this little pink plaid skirt thingee 'round her tummy while he shags her. After mishing her, he drops a big load between her faaake ta-ta's with a bit a splooge striking 'er face. Can anyone say titty fuckin'?

The next three black haired big boobed birds suck and fuck on some crappy sets. What the fuuuck, could the UK Porn Kings spend more than a few quid?

LISSA LOVE fucks some bloke on a piece a black shag carpet but with these pale purple sheet for walls. Her bloke stands over her for a decent facial but her face is tooooo busy reflecting those pale purples that give her a pinkish hue.

A flowery black pattern on pink is what's in the background of paaale LOUISE JENSON'S little shag fest. Then, the bird wears some sorta pale yellow corset to fuck her bloke on a white cushion. Louise, please tell the wankers at UK Porn Kings that birds titty fuck in big boooooob flicks.

KERRY LOUISE must have been in a bit of a 'urry to suck and fuck her bloke on a red hassock then on that same piece a black shag left over from Lissa'a bit. Cheap wankers.

Finally, a decent scene with black haired PORCHA SINS chatting with a bloke while giving the lucky bastard a maaa-ssage. She props up her maaa-ssage table and lets the cheeky bastard fuck her on top the thang. What! Some titty fucking, you saaay? Di Santo must have been so excited to see some titty fucking that he found a waaay to fuck up the fooocus.

What? No fucking extraaas! Cheap bastards!

Let's finish up this review by sayin' don't let the cheap bastards at UK Porn Kings get at your hard earned caaash.

"Hey BOne, what shoul'we would give this twattle?"

"Oh, I don't know Ritchie, how many scenes did you like?"

"Ohhhh, maaaaybe two."

"So maybe give the UK Porn Kings' UK'S BIGGEST BOOBS VOL 1 a !! outta !!!!!"

"Ta BOne, ya cheeky bastard!"