Total Babe 4 Review

Reviewed by dragonsbum  on  9/17/2004

friday night porno event: total babe 4
subtitled ‘it girls,’ brought to you in xinvision, and featuring the lovely teagan. let’s get it on...

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teagan
play by play: oral > mish > cowgirl > reverse cowgirl anal > doggie anal > decent facial

commentary: the it girl of double o four shows up in a hot pink top and matching bottoms that accentuate her bootylicious bum. her makeup and hair are fantastic and methinks she would have no problem being crowned miss teen anal usa. after teagan shows off her wares, including some camel toe action, kris slater joins her on a couch and they exchange pleasantries. i like the fact that her top stays on for the entire scene, often obscuring one or both of her undersized breasts, but with the nipples still clearly visible. teagan is quite demonstrative, telling kris to ‘show me what you’re made of,’ and ‘pound that lil ass.’ there’s no question teagan is a total babe, but i don’t think she’s totally believable; the more vociferous she got, the less aroused i got. in her defense, she seemed more into the vaginal portion of the scene, but when the anal commenced, teagan suddenly became much more aware of the camera and the heat started dissipating; at least she didn’t say ‘ow’ or ‘okay’ this time around. also, kris needs to lose those two black leather wrist bands- i don’t want to watch rob halford bang a hot chick. nevertheless, i found wood and managed to jizz on the gigantic eyes of my powerpuff girls buttercup novelty pillow, so all's well that ends well.

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brittney
play by play: oral > tit fuck > mish > cowgirl > spoon anal > reverse cowgirl anal > ass to mouth > cumshot to torso

commentary: the scene starts outside with busty blonde brit teasing in a black and pink wrestling singlet looking top and black panties with pink wristbands giving her an eighties look. unfortunately, she goes back inside to another couch where she inserts a buttplug (which remains in place during the vaginal sex) and is joined by barrett blade. this is the ‘roughest’ scene of the movie with the fake choking and tit slapping and arm restraining. at one point, brit seems to have a paroxysm of tourette’s, making exclamations such as ‘fucking whore’ and ‘dirty lil cunt’ and ‘nasty fucker,’ but i’m not really buying it. brit’s groaning is more annoying than appealing and the continuous vibe use is almost as distracting as barrett’s horrible tattoos. this scene, like the one before it, also suffers from strong backlighting- there is enough fill to balance out the sunlight but mein gott, how about closing the venetians. i’m not the biggest fan of brittney but she does look good here, thinner and more cleanly shaven than before. alas, i was not able to finish myself off to this encounter; no muss no fuss.

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nautica
play by play: oral > cowgirl > doggie > mish > cumshot to chin

commentary: on the stairs nautica appears in a glittery two piece suit. she strikes some sexy poses and as she ascends, her shapely asian arse fills the camera lens. soon both articles are peeled off revealing her beautiful curvy figure. doh, nautica still has a slight case of the ass zits; it’s rather ironic considering the rest of her skin seems flawless. everything boobs up is just splendid and she seems like a fun girl who just enjoys being on exhibition. joe friday shows up, with two arm sleeves of tattoos that clearly makes him more man than barrett. the subtitle of this movie should have been ‘it girls and motley crue.’ anywho, the action is rather mediocre in this short scene, despite nautica’s intrinsic sex appeal. just watch how she holds her legs apart and look at the beautiful lines she forms with her limbs. with the proper partner, nautica can perform conjugal ice dance with the best of them, but this pairing is clearly not right.

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veronica and kelly
play by play: oral > mish > cowgirl > pussy to mouth > reverse cowgirl > doggie > spoon > handjob > cumshot onto groin

commentary: i’m not sure which is which, but both veronica and kelly are czech-looking artificial blondes. after they strip each other, i see two nice bodies that are superior to the heads that are attached to them; we have butherfaces. bruno sx provides his middle aged dick for this very bland threesome in which there is little interaction between the girls. usually, when one girl is being attended to by bruno, the other one is off to the side masturbating or in my fantasy, reading the latest jose saramago novel. this is more of a simultaneous two way than a three way, and frankly, there’s nothing worth watching here. yet another scene located on a couch and it’s getting old; older than bruno. fast forward fodder.

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amanda
play by play: oral > doggie > reverse cowgirl > spoon anal > reverse cowgirl anal > double penetration > two good facials

commentary: amanda is a very thin brunette with an almost anorexic frame but a great set of tits that are busting out of her bedazzled bikini top. facially, she’s a bit harsh, a bit of ‘a man duh’ but perhaps that’s too harsh- it’s really the nose that makes her look a bit masculine- she might fit in at house atreides. lauro and bruno provide the meat and once again, the sex unfolds on a couch, except this is just about the ugliest plaid couch on the planet. amanda looks and sounds like she’s having about as much fun as the couch while the guys pound away at her tiny tiny holes. in fact, i would rather be digging holes at camp green lake than watch this scene again. the double penetration only lasts for about one minute; one look at her ‘eewwwww’ face may explain why. well at least this penultimate scene leaves plenty of time for squirtwoman.

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cytherea
play by play: oral > mish > reverse cowgirl > doggie > good facial

commentary: finally, the cytherea has come back to dvsx. i remember cy from multiple pov and twas already clear this girl was going places. but who knew she would ride wave upon wave of female joy juice to the top of the heap. here she appears in a very pretty pink teddy sporting a new haircut with bangs. i wasn’t sure if i would like the do from the pictures, but on the screen she looks superb- a bit like elizabeth taylor as cleopatra; me likee. cy is also looking very trim, check out her abs- a lean mean fucking machine she truly am be. kris, that lucky fucking bastard, gets to nail his second it girl of the video. he eagerly eats and fingers her until cy unleashes her first squirt. as the couch proceedings continue cy loses control and squirts another five times. not wimpy water gun squirts... super soaker squirts... fanfuckingtastic. i’m not sure if it’s cum, piss, water or a combination and i don’t care. that cy seems to completely give herself over to these whole body convulsions is hot; just watch her quiver and writhe after each episode. i also want to emphasize that after the tease section, cytherea never plays to the camera. she seems totally in the moment and even after being plastered with man goo, she never averts her eyes from her man. score another one for cy. //buttercup gets her second facial of the night.

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extras
lauren phoenix appears in the bonus scene, a point of view blow job of kk. she goes no hands and elicits plenty of saliva while deep throating his big hog. unfortunately, the camera almost never moves in seven minutes, so it’s the same boring angle focused on the right side of her face. well at least the cumshot is good. the behind the scenes provides some short but excellent additional long shots of cytherea squirting that truly display the power of her evacuations. each of the girls also participates in solo scenes which are mostly just a waste of space.

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the final score
total babe 4 is not a total bust, but going 2 of 6 for a porno isn’t good. i find this title to be consistent with most dvsx releases- several good scenes bookending clearly filler material. xin’s camera work is yeoman-like, neither enhancing or detracting from the sex. let’s quickly look at the plus/minus:

+ no questions or comments during tease segments
no suddenly disappearing clothes
use of fade effect during cuts

- strong backlight creating intense white backdrop akin to the first part of spielberg’s A.I.
too many gyno shots and not enough medium shots
guys with too many distracting tattoos
every scene situated on a couch

to sum it all up, this is not a highly recommendable video. as expected, the two legitimate ‘it girls’, teagan and cytherea deliver the best scenes. i don’t seem to be in such a tizzy over teagan as most guys, but her face and ass compensate for any shortcomings performance wise. with teagan, it’s like watching a really hot chick having sex, in a scene, for a video. this is in sharp contrast with cytherea’s scene which is like watching a really hot chick having sex, period. thanks for your attention.

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do- Sartre