Titten lieben Pisse und Sperma Review

Reviewed by Grammarian  on  5/13/2003

Highlights: Huge tits, cocksucking, post-cumshot blowjobs, facial plasterings, glazed knockers, some light BDSM in the form of a black strap wrapped around the spooge target's eyes and head, and one peeing scene with the covergirl from 'Die Spermasuenderin'.
Cumshots: Many
Overall evaluation: 4.2 out of 5

General comments
666 films are basically the same as GGG (you'll notice that GGG is the alphabetic representation of 666) except that 666 usually have at least one urination scene and some light BDSM.

I personally don't have any interest in peeing action of any kind. (For all you Seinfeld fans: Not that there's anything wrong with that! :-) But I had seen the covergirl of this 666 film already once in GGG's 'Titten auf Spermasuche' and figured she'd be worth the risk. My hope was that the covergirl would take all the cumshots and leave the being-pee'd-on to
someone else, and that's exactly what I got. So all you golden shower fans: better not purchase the DVD in the hopes that the gorgeous blonde, huge-titted covergirl will get pissed on. She does not, and you will be disappointed.

However, if you are interested in seeing this rubenesque beauty's face get completely slathered with spooge, or if you would like to see her give frothy post-cumshot blowjobs, then by all means, this film is for you.

Unfortunately, there is no interview in this film or in 'Titten auf Spermasuche' and as usual there are no credits on John Thompson productions, so I don't know the covergirl's name. For simplicity's sake, I'll just call her 'Chesty'. The name fits. They're big, they're real, and they jiggle and bounce together when she's getting doggyfucked. Believe it.

Some might consider Chesty 20 or 30 pounds overweight. I would disagree with that. If Chesty were thinner, then she wouldn't be Chesty. Her voluminous boobs would shrivel up and hang down to her hips, and they we'd have to call her Hippy. I like her just the way she is.

Scene 1
The scene opens with Chesty standing in a purple spandex dress-thingy that highlights her unfathomable cleavage. It's hard to concentrate on the cleavage alone though, as she happens to also be stroking a couple of cocks at the time, with several other locked-and-loaded cocks standing in wait. Each guy gets one or two good titty-squeezes then the scene cuts to her on her knees with her wrists tied together, sucking on one tool while stroking the rather large penis hovering above her head with both hands. Then some bozo with a penknife holds the thing in front of her face in a pseudo-threatening way. Uh huh, sure JT, go ahead and cut her. I'll visit you in prison.

Instead, of course, he wastes no time cutting her clothes off. Chesty, despite her stupid name, has a lovely face and flawless skin, and her make-up is tasteful and natural (no multiple layers of pancake to hide the narliness lurking beneath). She also seems to enjoy having cock in her mouth. Then another cock. Finally someone unties her wrists so she can get her hands working. There follows about 5 minutes of cocksucking and cleavage shots before another dick appears in the frame and the pace picks up a notch. Let the spunkbath begin.

For CS#1, Chesty has her head tilted back and her mouth open, and... guess what. He comes on her cheek and lips. A bit drippy and anticlimatic, if you ask me. That is, until Chesty starts sucking the fuck out of it again. Hmmm, getting interesting. CS#2 wanks a decent-sized wad into her mouth without much further ado. Chesty sucks the next rod for 3 mintues before she finally relents and lets rod's owner stroke himself off on her face (CS#3). By now, she's done a couple post-cumshot blowjobs and
her mouth is pretty frothy, not to mention the huge glob of goo stuck to her cheek. To top it off, the camera zooms out a bit and you see the whole enchilada: the huge hooters, the gorgeous girl, the frothy mouthfuck. Oops, did I forget to mention the two more cocks that just painted her lips and eyes white (CS#4 and CS#5)? Consider it mentioned.

Chesty is the rare jewel who puts the dick between her lips after the cumshot. This she does with CS#5, and the big dick entering her mouth displaces a huge glob of jizz, which slides down her chin and sticks on her chest. CS#5 is still getting sucked...and excuse me, my doorbell is ringing. So to speak.

Anyway, Chesty now has a big white snailtrail running down between her massive boobs. She sucks one more cock, takes CS#6, then gets up and gets fucked from behind. She's a sticky mess, and that's how the scene ends. And no pee! This must be my day.

Scene 2
Scene 2 is the peeing scene with the covergirl from Die Spermasuenderin. I only saw enough of this scene to know that she is, in fact, getting pissed on. OK, where were we then?

Scene 3
The next scene features Chesty again, a bit too made up for my taste, wearing a black dress. She has a dildo. She uses the dildo. Poof! Now she's in a red, long-armed dress and is chewing cock again. There follows a very sexy titfuck scene where she lets a faceless guy fuck her cleavage in various positions. But no popshots. Phooey. One of these days someone will shoot a serious titties-and-cream movie for us pearl necklace fans, and I, for one, will buy it.

Then: doggyfuck, on-the-back-throatfuck (good boob-swingage shot there), and thus begins the long clusterfuck. They are joined by the girl from Scene 2 in Sperma-Schlampen-Express, then the Spermasuenderin girl. All very interesting, but I'm sitting here with my raincoat on and am getting restless. Chesty is now on her back getting those massive udders sucked and squeezed by Nina from 'Sperma fuer mich da'. Nina has taken many a popshot in her GGG career and one gets the impression she's happy to have her face sandwiched between a pair of huge jugs rather than between ejaculating cocks this time. What follows is an popshot sequence that increases in frequency and volume until the grand finale featuring 4 guys who obviously haven't come since grade school. But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

CS#1 barely sprinkles a few drops on Chesty's face, but you do at least get a glimpse of her hard nipple after Nina has been chewing on it for a while. CS#2 is dispensed while Nina squeezes Chesty's melons and rolls them around. He drops his load directly into her mouth. Chesty smiles and seems to be having a good time. CS#4 as well lands squarely in her mouth. It seemed to be pretty copious but disappeared pretty fast. CS#5 and CS#6 don't waste any time. Plop, plop. Now I'm wide awake, thank you.

They proceed with a pretty long scene where Nina gets fucked from behind while making out with Chesty. I tap on the TV set and say, hey folks, c'mon, I'm falling asleep here. At about 32:30 a cock appears out of the ether and gives Chesty her the first good hosing of the scene (CS#7). CS#8 is a copious jet that fills up her mouth almost immediately but it's unfortunately followed by more useless filler. I'm convinced the scene is over when Nina stands up and drops her pussy onto Chesty's face and CS#9 oozes a meager load onto Chesty's lips. But no. Here comes the piece de resistance. First CS#10 and CS#11, then CS#12 and CS#13. Not a single square centimeter of poor Chesty's face is left unglazed. These fuckers must've been saving it up since grade school. The drenching is followed by the obligatory girls-licking-sperm-off-other-girl's-faces-ending, which is pretty much a JT cliche by now. But what a drenching it was. And unlike most porn directors, JT doesn't cut away right after the cumshots are over. That's one of my pet peeves about the US porn industry. It's like the universe ceases to exist exactly 2.2 seconds after the cumshot. To all you bad directors out there I say: you'll might be done in 2.2 seconds but, hey, one of us is still here.

Scene 4
In Scene 4 Chesty gets plastered yet again with the BDSM-esque twist that her eyes and face are bound with a black strap. The strap stays around her eyes during the facial cumswallowing scene. I think that was quite intriguing. BTW the reason you don't normally see such things in the US is that there are laws prohibiting the distribution of files that display BDSM and sex in the same film. I guess there are no such restrictions in Germany. Anyway, I'm not going to describe the whole scene lest I spoil it for you.

Summary
If this film didn't have the piss scene in it, I'd give it a 5 out of 5. Chesty's behavior is exemplary, Every GGG actress should be so convincing. But like I said, I'm not into piss scenes so I'm going to subtract eight tenths of a point just for the fact that I have to keep a movie titled "Titten lieben Pisse und Sperma" in my drawer. But even if you don't care for piss scenes, this movie is worth having. In the VHS world it'd be annoying to have to fast-forward through the stuff I don't like. But this is the DVD generation and that's what the 'Next' button is for.

Till next time...

-Grammarian