This Isn't Fifty Shades Of Grey XXX Review

Reviewed by fu_q  on  3/17/2013

Review:
Allie Haze (as “Anastasia”) has no idea what she’s in for when she agrees to sub in for her friend on an interview of billionaire businessman, Some Dude (as “Christian”). Indeed, Allie encounters a world rife with bondage, domination, and emotional uncertainty that’s initially quite foreign to her. Throughout the film, she struggles to define her budding relationship with Some and, in so doing, to find her place in this world. Such is the case in “Fifty Shades of Grey: A XXX Adaptation”, an exceptional parody of the popular book of similar title from Smash Pictures and director Jim Powers.

I watched this flick with my wife, as she’s familiar with the book series, while I’m more familiar with the porn aspects. From her perspective, this work is well done—to the degree that she likes a porno flick—and it follows the storyline of the original material fairly well. She does note that some of the build-up has been removed, but that—overall—it’s a good representation of the content of the novels. She also liked the fact that the individual sex scenes aren’t ridiculously long. I agree with her wholeheartedly on this point. Watching this production together also spawned a couple of interesting conversations on personal boundaries and the book series itself. It does sound interesting, and I may have to give it a read. But…I digress.

In terms of the sex, Scene One pairs up Allie Haze and Some Dude in his lavish bedroom after she’s essentially agreed to his “deal” (though she hasn’t signed yet) and also after he’s discovered that she’s a virgin. Prior to fully committing to him, he wants her to have some experience, and he intends to give it to her. Allie’s slowly pulled out of her jeans and matching flannel shirt, as Some goes to work on her. The tryst that ensues is sensual and romantic, with him popping her cherry and then some. The whole scenario comes off as quite realistic, as the two stay in a slow missionary position the entire time. The cum-shot isn’t shown here and is implied to be done internally in the condom that Some’s wearing. Pop or not, this one is sexy.

Scene Two occurs just after the last has finished, with Allie and Some caressing one another in the bathtub. Before long, he has her learning to stroke and suck his cock…which she does with flying colors…all the way to the point of bringing him to an apparent orgasm in her mouth.

Yet again, Scene Three continues where the last left off, this time with Allie and Some back in the bedroom. He ties her hands with a neck tie and takes her orally and then vaginally. As with the prior two sequences, the action here comes off as quite realistic and non-“pornified”. It’s missionary all the way again here, with no overt cum-shot, but everything still works quite well.

Scene Four takes a break from the awesome Some / Allie couplings and, instead, focuses in on her roommate, Alexis Ford, and her guy, Johnny Castle. They’re in Alexis’ bedroom beginning to get it on when Allie happens to peer in. She moves on and leaves the couple to do their thing…and what a thing it is. Johnny and Alexis—who’s looking great, as always—put forth an excellent and intense fucking that transitions through a few sexy positions prior to closing out with a load deposited all over Alexis’ pussy…followed by a cummy reinsertion—hot!

In Scene Five, Julia Ann—as part of one of Allie’s masturbatory dreams—dominates Logan Pierce. Julia’s in dominatrix-themed lingerie, and he’s nude—save a latex mask and a rod running behind his back that also serves to restrain his hands and arms. She commands him, flogs him, and ultimately unshackles him for a full-on ride. Julia maintains control throughout, as the romp takes on a variety of forms before finishing off with Logan ejaculating while titty-fucking Ms. Ann’s ample bosom. His load ends up all over her upper chest and her neck. Nice!

Scene Six brings Some and Allie back together for some steamy makeup sex…of the bondage variety, of course. He ties her to the bed post with his neck tie and pulls her half-top up over her eyes for use as a blindfold. With her senses somewhat deprived and her movement restricted, he fingers her and then enters her in a belly-down rear-entry position. He fucks her in this manner for some time until the sequence comes to a close (no pop).

In Scene Seven, Some and Allie are at a large hoity-toity party, and—after he bids to win her “first dance”—the two make their way to a back bathroom. There, he cuffs her to the showerhead, spanks her bare bottom to redness, and then removes a pair of ben wa balls that he’s made her keep up inside her for the entirety of the evening. Next, the cuffs come off, and he fucks her from behind over the edge of the tub…her elegant evening dress hiked up around her waist. The segment closes out like this (no pop).

Scene Eight again features Some and Allie, this time back at his dungeon for some B & D action. Allie gets strung up from the ceiling, slapped with a riding crop, and then fucked from behind in a standing rear-entry position (no pop).

Scene Nine picks up right after the last, with Allie and Some in the bedroom. She questions him about his hands-off policy, and he outlines with lipstick where she can and can’t touch him. Of course, the pair gets down to business again, this time with Allie riding him in a sexy cowgirl position (no pop).

In Scene Ten, Allie finds herself down in the dungeon later in the evening and after having awoken to the glimmer of a stranger in her room. Some makes his entrance, straps her to a bed, blindfolds her, and has her listen to music so that her only remaining sense is touch. He proceeds to flog her, eat her out, and then fucks her righteously in a missionary position (no overt pop). With the camerawork, effects, and soundtrack, this one ends up being an exceptional sequence.

Scene Eleven brings Allie and Some back together in his bedroom, this time after a confrontation with one of his exes and after the two have professed their feelings for one another. Some takes her in a spoon position and then in missionary, doling out a steamy, sweaty fuck. The festivities ultimately culminate in a load on Allie’s pelvis and bush…followed by a kiss. Sweet!

Bonus-wise, there’s a BTS containing interesting interview material, a quick-but-sticky Alexis Ford masturbation sequence, etc. (~20 minutes). There’s also a “Photo Gallery” putting forth a slideshow of pretty-girl shots and stills from the production, and there are a total of eight trailers to be found, as well. One also finds an option to play the full movie or just the sex from the movie upon hitting “Start Movie” in the main menu.

In all, this is an exceptional parody from Smash Pictures and Jim Powers. Its sex is super-hot, as is its female cast…especially with its heavy focus on the super-cute Allie Haze. According to my wife, it stays fairly true to the source material, and—judging by her positive overall reaction—it should be great for couples. I’d pick this one up.


Check out my blog...(as Marv Montag)

Follow me on Twitter…if you would like…(@fu_qreviews)

Check out the FSC anti-piracy PSA.