This Isn't Fifty Shades Of Grey XXX Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  1/11/2013

Running Time: 148 min.

Production Date: 6 / 25 / 2012, 7 / 5 / 2012

Director: Jim Powers

Cast: Alexis Ford, Allie Haze, Julia Ann, Johnny Castle, Logan Pierce, and Some Dude in sexual roles with Jaslene Jade, Megan Foxx, Kyle Stone, Tommy Hawke, Tyler Nixon, and more in non-sex roles

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are nicely done. The audio is clear and well balanced, and I didn't notice any background noises. The video is presented in anamorphic widescreen and looks very nice. There's very nice care put into the lighting, as well as a clear picture and a good hand on the camera.

The Movie: Even if you live in a cave, odds are you've heard of “Fifty Shades of Grey” and the “mommy porn” phenomenon it's created over the last few years. Here Smash Pictures takes a XXX look at the first book revolving around new college graduate Anastasia Steele (Allie Haze) falling head over heels for the extremely rich and powerful Christian Grey (Some Dude) while trying to cope with his hidden S&M lifestyle.

Upon learning that Allie is a virgin, Some decides to rectify the situation and take her to bed. He kisses her and strips her down before playing with her pussy and sucking her tits. Some pulls out a condom and slides it on before fucking her missionary style. Their lovemaking moves to the bathroom where he plays with her in the bathtub before standing up and having her stroke his cock. Allie moves on to eagerly suck it before he nuts in her mouth. Their lovemaking moves to the bedroom next, where he ties her wrists with a tie, throws her back on the bed, and has her keep her hands over her head as he kisses his way around her body. Some eats her pussy and fucks it missionary style while refusing to allow Allie to touch him in return, and finally gives her a kiss along with a small bite for her lower lip.

When Allie returns home, she finds her busty bottle blonde roommate Alexis in bed with Some's “brother” Johnny. Johnny goes to town eating Alexis' box before laying back to let her mouth his manhood in return. Alexis lays back for Johnny to bone her missionary style before getting on all fours for a doggie fuck. He also spoons her shaved snatch before pulling out to pop on her pussy. Johnny gives her pussy a few more pumps before pulling out again with Alexis pulling his seed up to taste it with her fingers.

Julia Ann, who's looking as ravishing as ever in some black lingerie and stockings, works on Logan, wearing a black rubber mask with his hands restrained in cuffs at the end of a spreader bar over his back, with a flogger as well as running her nails across his back. She has him kiss her and eat her pussy before rewarding him by sucking his cock and riding him cowgirl style. Julia Ann pulls off his mask while fucking him and lets him roll her onto her back to fuck her missionary style. Logan also takes Julia Ann doggie style before she lets him fuck her tits to pop on her chest.

When Allie tries to break things off through email, Some decides she needs a personal visit to talk about things and soon after has her tied to the bed with one of his ties. He pulls her top up to use as a blindfold, kisses her, and strips off her shorts to play with her pussy. He leaves for a moment only to return with a glass of ice that he rubs around hr tits and some pink wine that he holds in his mouth and dribbles down into hers. Some continues with the ice play before sliding on a rubber, rolling Allie over, and fucking her from behind without a pop. Some and Allie continue with short scenes, such ash him handcuffing her to the shower in a bathroom at a party before spanking, fingering, and fucking her from behind (now without a condom, as his doctor had her set up with birth control). The action between them continues in the “Red Room of Pain” (as it's referred to in the book) where Some spanks Allie, works on her with a crop, and then fucks her from behind with her hands restrained over her head. They also fuck in the bed with Allie riding Some cowgirl style after discussing his “no touching” rule before returning to the Red Room for Some to have his way with Allie as she's blindfolded with music from his iPod playing through headphones for her. Later Some proposes in bed before spooning Allie and fucking her missionary style. Finally Some pulls out and gives Allie a creamy load over her bush and stomach.

Due to how well Jim Powers and Smash Pictures have been doing with their porn parodies, I couldn't help but make myself read the first entry in the Fifty Shades of Grey series before popping this one into my player. Reading the original, I quite honestly couldn't see any company (mainstream or adult) being able to completely capture the book decent. In addition to the movie needing to be something like eight hours long, it seemed like there would be too many limitations put on the mainstream side due to the content and keeping the rating low enough for it to make it into theaters decently, and too many limitations put on the adult side due to budget constraints. This is a book with a lot of people, extravagant locations, and a lot of sex, which quite simply doesn't make it that good for either a mainstream or an adult studio to try to adapt into a movie. That said, Smash Pictures and Jim Powers have done about as good a job as I think a company can do with Fifty Shades of Grey. Yes, the story is largely trimmed down, but it captures the feel and much of the book very well and takes some nice liberties with the pacing by working in a few sequences as flashbacks. It does leave out quite a bit, which can make a lot of the plot jerky, and it's not helped by basically trimming the cast down to Allie and Some and keeping everyone else as a very minor supporting player. Gone is the photographer friend Jose and the tension he created with Christian Grey, as well as his family with the exception of a sex-only appearance of Johnny Castle as Elliot Grey. Anastasia's roommate Kate, played here by Alexis Ford, gets a little more screen time, but not more than a handful of lines. The locations are also largely cut back, with Christian appearing to be rich beyond belief only on paper. A big part of the book was the seduction of Anastasia and the struggles she had with Christian's lifestyle and how he wanted to pretty much throw money at her, but here it's hurried to the point to being just a whisper of the original. Plot-wise, this makes This Isn't Fifty Shades of Grey XXX nearly a Cliff Notes version of the book, and the sex is much the same way. It definitely captures the spirit and the progression of the book, but I can see much of it leaving the normal porn viewer upset as there's probably ten sex sequences in the movie (with how short some of them are it's hard to tell), but only three pop shots (one from each guy). The sex is all well done with nice chemistry, and the two full scenes in the middle with Alexis and Johnny and Julia Ann and Logan work nicely in some traditional sex that should keep “normal” porn viewers a little more interested. I don't want all this to sound like a complaint about This Isn't Fifty Shades of Grey XXX, because it isn't. As I said earlier, I have a hard time seeing the book adapted fully without it being an eight hour movie, and for the running time and the budget Smash Pictures was working with they really did a remarkable job keeping Fifty Shades of Grey together as well as they did. This is far from a perfect movie because of it, but its uniqueness in the porn world as well as how well it deals with the original source does make This Isn't Fifty Shades of Grey XXX a parody worth checking out.

The Extras: Trailers are included for eight other Smash releases. The photo gallery lasts just over six minutes. There's also a behind the scenes featurette and commercials.

The behind the scenes featurette lasts about eighteen minutes. After a flubbed line, Jim Powers talks to Allie about her acting background, what she likes sexually, and the 50 Shades books. She also talks about her hope for the future and getting wild sexually while looking cute as can be through it all. Julia Ann talks about getting into the industry and the phases she's went through during her time in the industry as well as her personal sex life, pets, and titty fucking. Jaslene talks about her role in the movie, bondage, and loving to work for Smash. Alexis talks about being wild sexually before laying back to give a little solo show with some good dirty talk. Finally there's an outtake with Some and Allie. This is a very nice behind the scenes featurette. You get some nice personality from the stars as well as some good eye candy thanks to Alexis' solo show. This is a nice addition to the overall release.

Condom Usage: Yes, keeping with the original source in certain places of the movie

Final Thoughts: If you're a fan of the book, or even just curious about it, this one's well worth picking up.

Note to Smash Pictures: This could not have been an easy adaption, and for the budget and length of the movie you did a remarkable job.

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