Teen Fuck Holes 1 (Platinum X) Review

Reviewed by morbidthoughts  on  2/15/2005

I must make a confession. Tim Von Swine, the director of this movie, is a friend of mine but I had never actually watched a video that he directed. I've seen his camerawork before since he works for some of the other directors at RLD and PXP. This may be a biased review though. However, I decided to remove any bias by drinking a shitload of beer before watching this movie. Just to be certain, I made sure it was Paulaner Hefeweizen instead of the mexican beer that we both like to drink

Keri Sable, Michael Stefano, and Steve Holmes:

This is the first video I've seen Steve with his beard that I had spotted in Vegas. Stefano and Holmes jabber with Swine a bit before Kat joins them. I've already mentioned that I'm not too big into little girls with braces but Kat has certain appealing qualities about her despite this misgving.

She gives deep blowjobs but looks a little uncomfortable doing so with those bulging eyes. They look like a frog peering out of the water with how wide open they are. She makes these disturbing gurgling sounds (but not as bad as Aurora's infamous gurgles) as Steve attacks her bunghole first. Tender moments of kissing between Stefano and Kat are interrupted by Steve shoving his cock in her mouth. The dp comes off better cause she seems into that. The atm machine is cashed. She's not afraid of anally rimming the guys either. A smiling Kat takes the cumshots down the hatch. Despite a shaky beginning this was a good scene.

Leah Luv, Kelly Wells, and Manuel Ferrara:

Well I've met all of these ladies in person. Leah looks really cute here with her hair braided even though she fits the little girl with braces category. Kelly Wells has beautiful hair, good cheekbones, and a long neck. I like her chest even though it's not big.

Kelly seems slightly better at the blow than Leah but they're both good. After just a bit of sex with the two girls. Manuel blows his load early down Leah's hatch. The girls cum swap. Then Manuel goes back to town. Stacking doggy with the girls. Kelly gives up the butt and Leah cleans up with the a2ogm. Manuel blows a great load that streaks down Leah's face and hair and Kelly licks it off. Great scene!

Mika & Michael Stefano:

Mika is a light skinned black girl with a droopy body. I don't find her attractive. I wouldn't guess that she was a teen either. She seems to have fun personality as she laughs at Stefano's antics.

Weak blowjob. She seems into the sex but I'm not sure if she's hamming it at times. Some unhealthy a2p that goes on. ATM. Man, when she's riding cowgirl is when I notice that big ass dagger tattoo on her tailbone for the first time. It's like she's something out of Conan the Barbarian. Big ass load that hits her brow. Well the sex was pretty good and she seems to like it.

Hillary Scott & John Strong:

I dig Hillary. Not sure if it's the gap teeth or her nice boobs. The bangs in her hair add to her youthful looks. I've heard conflicting reports that she's a teen and that's she's in her mid twenties. She has a nose and mouth like Anne Heche.

Hard to gauge her blow abilities but she does all the other stuff like ball and shaft licking. Anal comes easily to her as vaginal but she has these weird sex faces. Her moans are similar to Monica Sweetheart's except a little deeper. She's not afraid of the anal rimming. Atm. She is willing to gag on the cock on her later blowjobs. She orgasms hard while being analed. John spreads her big gape. Piledriver anal is the last position before the cumshot goes down the hatch. Juan Cuba comes in and adds in his load. Very good scene.

Keri Sable, Stefano, and Manuel:

Keri's skin looks redder than normal. I don't know if it's the lighting or if she's been out in the sun. Swine plays the part of her uncle. Keri's bored and doesn't want to play darts. Swine shoos her away because he's been tired of her tagging along all the time. She can instead hang out with Stefano and Manuel. Keri confesses that she just broke up with Mike John as I start laughing at this scenario.

Well, I've stated many times previously that I think Keri is beautiful but have been uncomfortable with how thin she was. It seems like she has steadily improved in every movie I've seen her in though and I think it culminates in greatness for this scene. She gives up the butt and takes the dp. Her blowjobs are deep. The best part of this scene is how Keri's body and face is never blocked while the guys just pile it into her. Great camerawork. Keri may be vegan but she swallowed two loads of manspunk for this scene.

Parting Thoughts:

Very good movie with two great scenes. Could've used some more attractive girls in some scenes but oh well. Bonus scene is a POV with a auburn haired girl named Christie reminding me of Charlie Laine. It seems like she's from Canada too like Christie Lee. Pale skin. She doesn't go very deep on Tim's fat swine. She doesn't do much with the POV doggy either. The sex steadily improves before the cumshot goes down the hatch. Well I thought it was going to go down the hatch with her open mouth but she dodges it slightly only to hit her face. Nice smile. Very cute girl. Just needs some work on the sex. BTS show Swine at work from the stills to trying to decide what the girls should wear. If you have any questions or comments, shoot me an email.