Tai Blow Job Review

Reviewed by LaNIKITA2000  on  10/11/2000

TITLE: Tai Blow Job

Studio: Knob Ryder DVD

Director: Master Buddy Bates

Production Date: 07/24/1999

Talent: Jill Kelly, Bridgett Kerkove, Allysin Chaynes, Mariah Wind, Julie Meadows, Inari Vachs, Chandler, Mia Smiles, and Vivian Valentine

Length: 1 hour 34 minutes

Format: Single-sided single layer

Synopsis: This porn DVD is a satire of Tae Bo. Willy Sacs (played by Lexington Steele), the martial sex artist, gives instruction and motivation to women who want to master the art of the blow job.

Jill Kelly plays Willy Sacs's co-host and successful disciple. The beginning of the video plays out like a typical infomercial. Mr. Sacs traces the origin of his Program as well as showing his live instruction with the enlightened women. Furthermore, it shows a typical day of practicing the Art at home.

Jill Kelly asks how Willy Sacs came up with the idea of his Tai Blow Job program. He says that it all started when he noticed a female pool cleaner while he was practicing his martial arts. And so. . . the sex scene begins. He drops his wooden staff and brings out the other pole. 

Scene One: Bridgett Kerkove and a guy

Bridgett Kerkove is not very attractive. Although her facial features leave something less desirable, Bridgett gives one mean and fast blow on big Lex. Like the nasty lady she is, she maneuvers her head so she can lick his ball sacs. After giving the standard blowjob on her knees, she lies down on her back and gets mouth-fucked in this position. Lex reciprocates by licking her out really well. 

Then, he fucks her with his 8+ inch dick in the missionary position. Lex keeps hammering away on her pussy for several minutes. There is some slow motion involved showing the vaginal penetration. The sex sounds are distorted by the porn music. 

It is time for him to invade her ass in the doggy position. He slides his tool into her ass with ease. She says, "Fuck my ass!" Bridgett is very flexible since she assumes the pile driver position so her ass can be fucked. 

Finally, he jerks off onto her face. The cum shot is in slow motion. His cum makes a letter "S" on her right cheek. It sort of looks like the cream on a Pillsbury Strudel. There is some post-cum sucking. A light bulb in Willy Sacs brain lights up. He concocted a scheme, which would allow him to teach willing women to execute the perfect blow job by producing sex tapes. Bridgett, still with cum on her face, says, "I would definitely pay 29.95 for that."

Now. . .

We return back to the infomercial. Willy Sacs says, "This system is the way!"

Scene Two: Mariah Wind, Allysin Chaynes, and a guy

This is the instructional part of his system. He coaches Mariah and Allysin how to suck dick. He says, "Do not deny him your mouth. You are an extension of it [dick]. Share the cock with your friend. The system does not allow for 'cock hogs.'" This is hilarious! I cannot believe that no one laughed during the scene since everyone seems serious. Willy leaves them alone and the action continues.

While Mariah sucks cock, Allysin undresses to show her very small breasts. After more cocksucking, he takes turns on fucking them in the pussy doggy style. The camera captures great vaginal insertion shot. While he thrusts his tool into one pussy, he fingers the other lady. There is brief lesbian intermission.

The ladies assume the 69 position and start carpet eating. Allysin drops her saliva on Mariah's well seasoned pussy. The man joins in on the fun and fucks Allsyin doggy style while she is still in the 69 position. Allysin supports herself from the thrusts by latching onto Mariah's thighs. 

Next, the man fucks Mariah in the pussy reverse cowgirl position. You can see her natural sized breasts while she is in this position. She rides him like a pony. It is Allysin's turn to ride his tool. She sits on his dick and rides him in the cowgirl position. Mariah sits on his face while he continues to pump Allysin's box.

The dude jerks off onto Allysin and Mariah. I find it strange that the director focuses on the dude's facial expression when he shoots his load instead of focusing on the ladies waiting for his semen. As a result, we miss the actual cum shot and only see the cum on Allysin's face as well as Mariah's. The two ladies say, "Thank you Willy Sacs!"

Scene Three: Julie Meadows and a guy

Julie Meadows believes in the notion that practice makes perfect. So, she practices sucking on a pink dildo while  heeding Willy Sacs's exact words (Be at one with the cock). She does not realize that the milkman has just seen her sucking the dildo. The milkman delivers her milk and then some!

Julie gets rights to it and wastes no time. Julie is a bleach blonde half-Asian lady. She gives a killer no hands blowjob. Her technique uses heavy doses of saliva. For some reason, the audio is scene is better captured than the rest. After a long and good blow job, the milkman takes the initiative. 

Julie Meadows spreads her legs so he can gain quick tongue and finger access to her pussy. Now, it is time for some kinky action. He pours some milk on her pussy and he summarily licks it all up. 

Then, he fucks her pussy missionary style on the kitchen top. This is followed by doggy and cowgirl position. In the cowgirl position, the dude is able to stick his whole dick into her. He pumps her like an oil pump. Finally, he cums on her butt cheeks after he fucks her pussy doggy style. The cum shot is in slow motion. 

Scene Four: Inari Vachs, Mia Smiles, and Chandler

The ladies have just returned from blow job class. They are tired of the monotony and the terrible "lock jaw" that are associated with sucking dick. Inari voices out and says, "I don't want to be a cocksucker forever. I must have gained 10 pounds on jizz alone." Inari proposes that they have some female action. The three ladies undress each other and prepare for some hot lesbian action. Mia Smiles in the asian lady and Chandler is the lady with long and straight hair. 

Mia gives Inari some head while Chandler fingers Mia. Inari is really into her scene since she seems to enjoy her pussy being licked. Now, Chandler has the opportunity to munch on Inari's pussy. 

The scenes reaches a high level of kinkiness when Inari and Mia put on strap-on dicks. Inari fucks her ass from behind. Inari seems to enjoy her male role too much as one can see by her expression when she fucks Chandler from behind. Chandler screams, "Yeah, fuck my ass!" Chandler fills her mouth with Mia's strap on. She sucks on that strap-on like a pro while Inari fucks her hard.  

Now, Mia fucks Inari's pussy with the strap- on. Inari slaps Mia's face and then Mia applies some pressure to Inari's neck. Inari likes to have hard lesbian sex. 

After this, Chandler goes down on Mia. Chandler's tongue does the trick for Mia since she screams and gyrates a lot. This is a hot and torrid scene. Next, Inari fucks Mia while Mia plays with Chandler's pussy. Inari spits on Mia's face and Mia returns the favor. The scene ends with the ladies playing with themselves on the couch. Great scene. 

Scene Five: Vivian Valentine and two guys

Vivian's husband, Winston, or significant other reviews their expense accounts. He complains to Vivian about the exorbitant fees for the Tai Blow program. Vivian comforts Winston by saying that she will prove that the program was not a waste. She asks the butler to find her anal lubricant. Furthermore, she asks him if he will undress and lick her clit. The butler says to the camera, "Thank you Willy Sacs!" And so the sex begins. . .

She blows her husband while the butler pleasures her. Then, the butler fucks her pussy with quick thrusts. Now, Winston fucks her pussy in the doggy style while she blows the butler. This is great no hands BJ. Next, the butler fucks her cowgirl position while Winston gets his dick sucked on. There is a nice picture of her ass while she is getting fucked. Again, she gives an incredible no hands BJ. 

Since Vivian's pussy has been thoroughly fucked, Winston fucks her ass doggy style. Vivian is a great moaner. Then, the butler fucks her ass reverse cowgirl style. Later, Winston rejoins the tryst by fucking her wide open pussy thereby completing the brief double penetration. 

Finally, the two dudes jerk off onto her face. This results in lots of cum on her chin and her shoulder. The butler says, "Thank you Sensei Sacs!"

Scene Five: Jill Kelly and a guy (condom used)

Now, we return to the infomercial. Jill Kelly provides us with her "true life" testimonial. She owes it all to Willy Sacs's Tai Blow Job program. Jill says, "Now I love sex and I give a world class blowjob that would impeach President Clinton." Lex agrees and says, "Now that's blowjob!"

The camera switches to Jill Kelly's sex scene. She undresses for the lucky guy revealing her large and enhanced breasts. He automatically goes down on her. She reciprocates the favor and gives him a professional blow job. Jill Kelly gives a nasty no hands blowjob. 

After his dick is sufficiently moistened, Jill jumps on top of it thereby assuming the cowgirl position. This is followed by some hard doggy vaginal fucking. Next, he fucks her in the reverse cowgirl position. 

The scene ends with the dude jerking off onto Jill Kelly's closed lips. The cum drips from her chin. She says, "Thank you, Willy Sacs!"

Now. . .

We return to the end of the infomercial. Willy tells it like it is. He warns "would be cocksuckers" that it is not going to be easy since they will have to continue practicing even through episodes of lock jaw. He ends by saying, "If you have the mouth, I have the way. My system is the way!"

Overall: This movie was very amusing and well acted. Jill Kelly and Lexington Steele executed their comedic roles very well. It was hilarious when Lex went into his motivational monologues. The ladies were good looking except for Bridgett Kerkove. One may bypass her facial looks and focus on her sexual intensity and her full and lucious lips. This is where Bridgett excels. Scene four, the lesbian scene, is the best scene on the DVD. Scenes one and four are also very good. 

DVD Quality: The audio and video quality was very inconsistent. For instance, the audio quality was excellent during the lesbian scene but was horrible in scene one. The video was inconsistent due to the poor lighting in the taped original. 

Extras: There is nothing! Knob Ryder has to improve on this big time.