Sirens (VCA) Review

Reviewed by Principal Skinner  on  6/28/2000

Directed by Stuart Canterbury, SIRENS really cannot be described as a classic by any means, despite its VCA Classics description. With the (unfortunate) exceptions of Ron Jeremy and former gay actor Eric Price, none of the starlets in this shot-on- video feature are active in the porn industry today. And for porno newbies currently raised on a diet of SODOMANIA and GANGBANG GIRL videos, there may be very little reason to watch, let alone purchase, this rather straightforward, simple early 1990s release.

However, for the old-timers like myself who recall when porn attempted to incorporate a story in their movies, and when gynecological close-ups of dilated sphincters were less than common- place, a viewing of SIRENS is almost refreshingly quaint. It also helps a great deal that this video features one of VCA's best former contract stars, namely the hard-bodied and devlishly sexy Selena Steele. The star of CURSE OF THE CATWOMAN, ANYTHING THAT MOVES, and a handful of other VCA features has never turned in a performance that was less than stellar, and she is the reason why this DVD gets a permanent place in my collection.

Admittedly, the story and production of SIRENS is more akin to a high school play than that of a Ridley Scott film. The portly and disgusting Ron Jeremy plays Zeus (Heaven help us all!) who naturally abuses his powers by toying with the mere mortals who are sailing aimlessly within the high seas. The whole video is creatively captured in saturated reds and blues, giving it a different look which adds to its fantasy appeal. I don't mean to suggest that anyone would mistake this "sex on a boat" movie for TITANIC or even CABIN BOY, but at least Director Canterbury did try to create a certain novelty amidst all the sucking and fucking.

Although Ms. Steele's best work has yet to appear on DVD (but THE LAST RESORT and ANYTHING THAT MOVES is coming soon), her perfomances in SIRENS are still noteworthy. Her straight scene with Mike Horner is filled with enthusiasm, and only a handful of other porn stars give head with as much intensity as Selena (Tori Welles, Debi Diamond, Tianna and Rachel Ryan also come to mind, but not many others). Later, she shares a girl-girl scene with gorgeous brunette Paula Price, another 1990s favorite of mine, who has a smoldering sexuality which is always on display in her lesbian encounters (for one of Paula's best movies ever, I highly recommend NIGHT TRIPS 2, particularly her scene with Heather Lere and Julia Parton, spectacularly filmed by a swimming pool). Paula also shares a scene with then-real life boyfriend Eric Price (clearly, she was selling herself short), which spotlights her fantastic oral skills. Overall, their three scenes are filled with an almost genuine passion while remaining completely free of condom-usage.

The remaining scenes include a tryst between Ron Jeremy and Heather Hart, which held little appeal to me because of the overwhelming presence of the Hedgehog. The late Trinity Loren gets it on with Mike Horner at the end, but by that time, I grew more than a little disinterested in the movie (after watching all the Selena and Paula scenes, my need for, um...satisfaction...was no longer an issue).

VCA Classics lack all the extras found in their other DVD line, but I hardly missed them. In this reviewer's opinion, photo galleries, multiple angles, and star bios are usually added without much thought or care to begin with, so why bother? On the other hand, companies like Private Video have superb extras which add greatly to the DVD viewing experience (as my upcoming review of SEX SLIDER will note). So until the American companies match up to their European counterparts, I am content on having the complete movie released on DVD without any non- essential additions.

SIRENS is a good movie made better by Selena Steele. Any fan of hers should pick this up without reservation.