Sex On Film Review

Reviewed by Nat Hocken  on  3/24/2003

“Sex on Film” tells the story of film student Joel Lawrence who, thanks to girlfriend Jenna Haze, snaps to the bright idea of making a porn movie for his thesis project. And not just any porn movie, either—every porn movie. His script (it’s one of those deal-with-the-devil stories) is so generic that if it had been seen in “Repo Man” it would have had a white cover sheet with “Porn Script” written across it in big black block lettering. On his way to an F for originality, writer/director Brad Armstrong burns up most of Joel’s story with another porno convention, the talent search. I don’t suppose any of this would be anything more serious than another wasted opportunity except that in this case the sex is as uninspiring as the storyline.

The sex isn’t bad, it’s conventional. Well-produced, crisp and clear, but typical American porn fare just the same; another sad case of a director failing to grasp the pointlessness of grafting narrative onto a sex film without a meaningful attempt at integrating the two. If it weren’t for the concluding orgy, few of the performers would have a second sex scene. While this should please those who like to see the widest possible array of talent, it virtually guarantees that each scene will be more or less the same as the last. Starting from scratch with each sex scene is a great way to spin your wheels in an endless 360.

It’s not that Armstrong doesn’t try; in his own imaginatively crippled way, he gives us a variety of sexual partnerships and a great deal of sex. His scenes cross a broad spectrum with solo masturbation at one edge and an orgy at the other. In between is a rainbow of combinations: the couple, the lesbian threesome, and a semi-“straight” threesome (in which Lee Stone is denied access to girls-only performer Devinn Lane, who focuses all her attention on Lezley Zen instead). There’s also a blowjob scene.

The blowjob scene is one of the movie’s highlights. After Joel’s professor (Mike Horner) refuses to show Joel’s film, Lezley Zen convinces him to change his mind, and rather eloquently at that. Being what it is, “Sex on Film” does have its moments. Jenna Haze looks good in the opener with Joel, the lesbian threesome starts well, and somewhere in that orgy that winds things up, Lezley and Devinn briefly rock on a two-headed dildo. These moments stand out because the rest of the sex is so ordinary.

Armstrong had the beginnings of a good idea. He could have had a lot of fun with the notion of a student-made porn film. But either he wasn’t up to the task or he just didn’t care to try. After shooting his first porn scene, Joel remarks, “And just like that, I was a pornographer.” A line that should be dripping in irony (Joel starts with loftier goals) is uttered straight; in fact, Joel’s downright pleased with himself. And he’s wrong anyway: shooting an explicit sex scene doesn’t make him a pornographer; he becomes a pornographer much earlier, when he puts his brain on autopilot and turns to porn movies for inspiration. The way this film plays out, it looks as though Armstrong did the same thing.