Secretary, The (Vivid) Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  5/1/2005

The Little Details

Running Time: 77 min.

Production Date: 3 / 2 / 1999

Director: Cleo Edwards

Cast: Janine, Alexandra Silk, Inari Vachs, Sharrin Wood, Sydnee Steele, Bobby Vitale, Evan Stone, John Decker, and Tyce Bune

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: I haven’t heard of Cleo Edwards, and some of Vivid’s earlier DVDs left a lot to be desired. I’m a bit apprehensive going into this one.

Initial Reaction: There’s some nice things here, but Cleo Edwards lets them tarnish rather than seeing what kind of polish can be put on them.

Who Should Watch It : Extreme fans of anybody in the cast

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting high quality technical aspects and passionate sex

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects leave a lot to be desired. The audio is balanced okay, but is extremely muddy and hollow. The video also lacks severely. There’s a small off-colored bar on the bottom edge and a fair amount of grain. The lighting is okay, but a little on the low side with a few shadows. I’ve seen VHS tapes that looked better than this release.

Music: The music is okay. It’s nicely balanced, but has such a typical couples porn feel that I was pretty bored with it.

Menus:

The Feature

It’s not sexual harassment if you’re a woman doing the harassing. That’s the reasoning behind the bet Sydnee and Alexandra had at their office as they compete on who can fuck the most people in the office. Things run into a snag about the time new girl Janine joins the company when Alexandra starts to develop a conscience, but Sydnee isn’t about to let that slow her down.

Scene 1 - Alexandra Silkand Evan Stone; Sydnee Steele and John Decker

After a board meeting, brunettes Sydnee and Alexandra get it on with John and Evan, respectively. While Evan helps Alex to strip down and eats her pussy, Sydnee drops down to give John a bit of oral pleasure. Alex gives Evan a little oral pleasure as well before Sydnee strips down and lets John tongue her twat as she sits before him on the table. The two couples move on with a bit of missionary and doggie, followed by some both cowgirls for Alexandra and a bit more missionary work and some reverse cowgirl for Sydnee. Finally, Alexandra takes a pop on her stomach and Sydnee takes a pop on her great ass to finish things up.

As separate couple scenes, these two pairings could be okay. As a group scene, this one leaves a lot to be desired. The two couples seem to be into each other okay, but they almost completely ignore each other as couples. The camera work also seems very lackluster, and never really drew me into the scene. This seems like an overly tame scene that’s devoid of any form of creativity.

Scene 2 - Inari Vachs and Janine

When Janine gets home after a rough day’s work, Inari sets out to put a smile on her face. Janine claims she isn’t in the mood for sex, but as soon as Inari gets her mouth down to Janine’s pussy she seems to forget all about her protests. She stands up and plays with her ass as Inari eats and fingers her, and then gives Inari a little tongue and finger love in return. The ladies sixty-nine each other with Inari attacking both of Janine’s holes and making sure she gives her pussy the four finger discount. Inari breaks out the strap-on to fuck Janine from behind before they finish things up with Janine sucking the fake cock.

This is a pretty good scene. Janine and Inari have great chemistry, and I love Inari’s spirit through the start of the scene. Janine has a great nasty vibe through the scene, and it balances off Inari’s playfulness extremely well. Unfortunately, the camera work doesn’t always capture it the best, and there are many times when it feels like the cameraman isn’t even sure what he’s going for. This is a pretty good scene that feels like it had the potential to be a heck of a lot better.

Scene 3 - Alexandra Silk and Tyce Bune

Alexandra heads to Tyce’s office to seduce him next. She strips down and teases him from across the room before climbing onto his desk to kiss him as he sits back and watches, stunned. Alexandra has Tyce strip down and then sucks his cock as she lies across his desk, and lets him play with her holes as she works him over. She lies back on the desk for a little missionary work and then turns around for him to fuck her doggie style while she peels an orange. Finally, Alexandra pushes Tyce back and has him pop in a small vial.

This is an above average scene. Alexandra does a nice job playing the bitchy slut and puts out some nice energy throughout the scene. Once again the camera work and editing held things back a bit, and the scene came across as being held back. This is an above average scene, but not by much.

Scene 4 - Sydnee Steele and Bobby Vitale

Sydnee takes on janitor Bobby in a back hallway next. She pushes him against the wall and drops down to pull down his pants and suck his cock while giving him some great eyes. Bobby has her lean against the opposite wall so he can fuck her from behind before letting her lie back on a chair for a bit of missionary work. Finally, Bobby pops on Sydnee’s ass.

This is another okay scene. There’s some decent energy to the scene, but the chemistry is average at best. As usual, the camera work and editing didn’t draw me in too well either. It’s a pretty average scene, and nothing really special in any way.

Scene 5 - Janine, Sharrin Wood, and Sydnee Steele

When Janine finds herself locked in the office, she soon finds a naked Sydnee coming up behind her. She resists her at first, but soon finds that she doesn’t have a choice but to start eating Sydnee’s pussy. She gets on the desk so Sydnee can tongue her pussy and ass in return, and they work each other back and forth until they’re discovered by Sharrin. Sharrin tries to break things up, but soon after finds herself lying back on the desk with Sydnee fucking her pussy with a dildo as Janine holds her arms. Sharrin quickly gets into it, and leans back to suck Janine’s tits and play with her pussy. Janine moves back to watch, and they finally leave Sharrin on the table as a quivering pile of flesh.

This is a pretty good final scene. There’s nice chemistry between Sydnee and Janine, with Janine showing once again why she made a career of doing just girls look easy for years. I like the twist having Sharrin join in for the second half of the scene, and was really impressed with how much she got into the scene. She does a great job, but I was a little disappointed that she pretty much just replaced Janine rather than having a full-blown threeway. Once again this is a scene that shows some good potential without actually using most of it.

The Secretary is a good idea that’s hampered by poor execution. I really like the idea of women taking advantage of the common thought that only men commit sexual harassment to see how many people in the office they can screw, and both Sydnee and Alexandra play both sides of it very well. Sydnee gives a fantastic performance as the bitch without a conscience, and Alexandra does just as well as the women who starts to get her conscience and a few feelings back. There’s some good support in the cast behind them, but for being the cover girl Janine seems amazingly underused. There’s a nice attempt at trying to be artistic through the movie, but sadly it interferes with the movie more than it helps it. It seems like it tries to make things light and amusing, but rather than lightening the movie it fights against it. The camera work and editing also didn’t work for me, with a style that went for softcore distance shots with gyno-cam penetration shots thrown in to make it hardcore. The Secretary has a nice idea and a talented cast, but Cleo Edwards direction didn’t come close to doing it justice.

The Extra Stuff

Multiple angles are included, but as usual they’re not true multiple angles. Trailers are included for The Gift, Ultimate Lexus, Public Affairs, and Ultimate Janine. The photo gallery lasts three minutes, and takes about ten seconds to pan and zoom around each photo. Fetish rooms are included which let you watch specific sex acts such as pussy eating, blowjobs, or doggie. There are also what look like clips of the sex from Speedway and Blondage 3, as well as seven full bonus scenes.

Bonus Scene - Janine and Johnni Black

Janine’s scene with Johnni comes from Girl Next Door. The girls kiss and strip each other down in the back of a pickup truck in a shop. Johnni makes the first move down under, and lets Janine sit on her face before Janine leans forward to sixty-nine her. Janine lays back in the truck so Johnni can tongue each of her holes, and rolls around so Johnni can spank finger, and rub her tits against her. Janine climbs up to grind her pussy on Johnni’s tongue, and then bends over for Johnni to rub her down with oil. Johnni moves on to give Janine’s ass a string of anal beads plus a dildo, and even slides a second dildo into her pussy. Janine pops up to suck the dildo from her ass clean and kiss Johnni before pulling out the beads as Johnni continues to fuck her. Janine works Johnni’s pussy over with a dildo and licks her pussy in reciprocation before giving her the dildo DP. Finally, the girls finish things up with a kiss.

This is one heck of a hot scene! Janine and Johnni have fantastic chemistry and neither of them look like they’re the least bit nervous about getting a little nasty. I know that everybody things of Vivid as just a tame little couples studio, but they show that they can do nasty lesbian sex as well as anybody else here!

Bonus Scene - Dayton Rain and Eric Masterson

The next bonus scene comes from Rapunzel. Dayton starts out admiring Eric’s cock before attacking it orally and trying to stick it in each of her ears. Eric eats her pussy in return before fucking it missionary style and letting Dayton ride him reverse cowgirl style. They also get in a little doggie before Eric decorates Dayton’s ass.

This is an above average scene. It starts out with some nice humor, but then moves on with some rough editing that makes the scene fairly quick. It also makes it fairly forgettable.

Bonus Scene - Kira Kenner and Tyce Bune

The next bonus scene comes from Innervision and takes place in a dark bar. Tyce starts out tonguing Kira’s holes as she lays back on the bar with her legs in the air, and slides a finger or two in to help warm her up. Kira reciprocates with some energetic knob gobbling while giving Tyce some fantastic eyes before riding him cowgirl style. She lets Tyce take charge with a bit of missionary work and then lets him reverse pile drive her ass. They finish things up with a bit of missionary work before Tyce sprays his seed around Kira’s cunt.

This is a pretty hot scene. Kira and Tyce have some very good chemistry and put some nice energy into the fucking. The camera work often seems just slightly off, and seems to either go for long distance shots or penetration shots rather than trying to get just close enough to see both the penetration and the performer’s reactions to it. With a little better camera work and editing this would have been a smoking hot scene.

Bonus Scene - Ashlyn Gere, Tony Tedeschi, and Buck Adams

Aroused earns the next bonus scene. Ashlyn starts things out kissing Tony and letting him leech his way around her face and neck as he works his way to her tits. He lizard kisses her before making his way down to tongue and finger her pussy. Tony turns into Buck, who fucks her missionary and doggie style after eating her a bit more. Ashlyn moves up to bounce on his bone reverse cowgirl style before letting Buck take her from behind again. Tony reappears in front of her so Ashlyn can show that she can do one better than walking and chewing gum at the same time by fucking and sucking at the same time. Finally she strokes an almost nonexistent pop from Tony onto her tongue and then lets Buck follow it up with a second pop that’s almost as bad. At least with how old and dried up Buck looks one expects it.

This is a slightly above average scene. No, it’s not at all due to either of the guys. The guys trading in the middle only to have Tony reappear near the end didn’t work at all for me, and Tony’s foreplay was laughable at best. All credit here goes to Ashlyn, who puts out an energetic performance that’s fun to watch. This is far from a great scene, but she makes it watchable and fairly enjoyable.

Bonus Scene - Tera Heart and Mark Davis

Tera and Mark’s scene comes from Ashlyn Rising. Tera starts things out happily sucking Mark’s cock while Ashlyn Gere and Nina Hartley watch them. Mark fucks her pussy doggie and missionary style before letting Tera take a little control with a reverse cowgirl anal ride. Mark spears her sphincter doggie style next before finally spewing his seed on her nicely implanted tits.

This is a pretty good scene. Tera and Mark have nice chemistry and put in nice energy, but the camera work and lighting definitely holds it back. The real highlight of the scene is the few breaks that show Ashlyn and Nina watching them, as they both seem to be getting really worked up watching. This is a decent scene that should have been great.

Bonus Scene - Cricket, Mark Davis, and Erik Everhard

The next bonus scene comes from Unconscious. Male nurses Mark and Erik help Cricket strip down while they worship her body, and then let her work her oral skills between them as she kneels down before them. Mark takes the first fuck reverse cowgirl style before taking her from behind while she sucks Erik’s cock. Erik takes her ass doggie style before letting Cricket have a little reverse cowgirl anal action. Mark gets a little anal pile driver in before they give Cricket a pretty good double facial.

The only thing that seems memorable about this scene is how bland a performance it has from two of the adult industries best male performers. The sex is average at best, and Cricket shows that with a face that’s still “paper or plastic” after a few drinks and a boobjob that looks slightly lopsided you can still get work if you take it in the ass. The camera work also toned this one down to the point that I couldn’t help but yawn through most of it. This is a greatly lacking scene.

Bonus Scene - Ariel Daye, Bobby Vitale, and Vince Voyeur

The final bonus scene comes from The Heist. As Ariel sucks Bobby’s cock, Vince goes directly to fucking her missionary style. Bobby takes his turn fucking her doggie style as she gobbles Vince’s knob before trading places so Vince can fuck her ass. Finally, Bobby gives her a small pop on her tits before Vince pops on her ass.

This is a pretty forgettable scene. The chemistry and energy are passable, but the camera work and editing leaves most everything to be desired. It pretty much mixes softcore distance shots with closeups, and left me bored as heck. This scene shows why the remote control was such a great invention.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, group, lesbian, anal, toys, and rimming (female > female)

Raincoat Factor: Medium

Condom Usage: 100%

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of Vivid’s DVDs can be found online for between about $15 and $28, with most stores appearing to offer them in the $20 range. Rent this one if you’re curious, as I’m not sure that it will have too much replay value. The sex is pretty average and the technical aspects are lacking. There’s plenty of extras, but they’re all generic. This is an okay DVD.

Note to Vivid: Bonus scenes make a nice extra to fill up the space on a DVD, but here they look like you had to sacrifice audio and video quality to put so many on the DVD. That’s definitely not cool, and I hope you balance out your DVDs better in the future.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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