Ryker's Web Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  9/14/2003

This is the first film from Ken Ryker Productions a company formed by the superstar to market his appearances. Financially it was probably a good move, but whether or not it produces top-of-the-line films remains to be seen. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad film. But I found it rather flat. Ken Ryker is indeed an awesome creature. He is tall, blond, handsome, hairy-chested, the epitome of a football linebacker. Added to this, he possesses one of the biggest cocks in porndom. The problem is he’s obviously straight. As a result, his scenes lack any passion. It’s like watching a robot fuck. But he commands attention despite that great stone face and one watches with awe and admiration for those impaled on that monster dick.

As far as I can figure from the disjointed plot (written by Ken) Drew Larsen and Ken own a bar called Ryker’s Web. There is a large spider web in the bar, the strands of which are constructed of chains. It provides the background for only one scene.

The film begins when Tom Katt and Chris Taylor arrive before opening and ask to be admitted for a game of pool. Permission is granted and Drew and Ken watch over closed circuit TV. Chris wins. He lies back on the table for Tom to blow him. Clothes start coming off. Tom, a very hirsute muscle-bound hulk, is in shaved mode here. This goes on for some time. Chris then takes a few sucks on Tom’s tool. Then Tom goes back to sucking, sucking, and sucking. This goes on for much too long, Finally Chris is on his hands and knees on the pool table and Tom is finger-fucking him. We see Tom grab a condom and the next thing we know he’s in and fucking away. Shit! We didn’t get to see the cock go in! A bar employee, Johnny West (whose face remains in shadow throughout) watches and takes out his dick. This shadowy figure has a nice slender body and a long slender cock. He strokes it while watching the action, which is more than I am doing. Chris is now on his back for Tom to continue their fuck. As he continues fucking, Tom plays with Chris’ nipples and Chris jacks off. Johnny shoots his load from the sidelines. Tom cums, too. It was not a very stimulating scene with which to begin this film.

Things pick up in the next scene when Ken’s robe falls open and the big monster flops out. Drew goes down on it as Ken calmly continues to drink his coffee. (See what I mean about lack of passion?) Drew kneels on the sofa and waits for the fabulous cock to invade his ass. This time we see entry. Ken pounds away. For the final position Drew lies back on a hassock for Ken to take him that way.

Drew is back at the monitor observing the action below. Big Billy Herrington swaggers into the bar and sits at the counter. Rocky, the cute young bartender, hands him a beer and tells him it’s on the house. “You can go now.” A surly Herrington orders the generous youth. Billy sucks on the beer bottle and that’s it. We can only be disappointed that nothing happens between him and Rocky. Why was Herrington here?

Rocky has better luck with Rhett O’Hara and Tino Lopez when they start making out at the counter. When both are totally naked, an equally naked Rocky joins in. He sucks both of their dicks—even taking both at the same time. Rhett sits on Rocky’s face as Tino blows the young barkeep. Rocky then sits on Rhett’s dick and sucks on Tino’s nice uncut cock. (Tino’s crotch is bare of hair.) Tino then takes his turn at Rocky. This is a good scene. The music, though, is perfectly awful. It sounds like a fat lady sitting on an accordion.

Ken now strides into the bar clad in soft leather. Two twinks, Anthony Holloway and Ian Gabriel, are starting to make out in front of the spider web. Out comes Ken’s cock. The boys stare at it in awe. Ian is the first to try to swallow the serpent Then Anthony takes over. For a time they vie for it. Then Ian begins to eat Ken’s ass, leaving the dick solely to Anthony. Anthony is the one chosen for impalement. “Just don’t put it in too much,” the youth cautions Ken. “Oh, my God!” Anthony screams. (It’s in all the way.) Anthony attempts to suck Ian’s cock while being fucked, but that telephone pole in his ass distracts him. Anthony gets on all fours for the fuck to continue. (In a magazine interview Anthony said that this was one of the easiest scenes he ever had to do, but the expression on his face as he gets reamed looks like he’s working pretty hard to me.) Ken neither kisses nor sucks dick. It’s the straight guy in gay porn bit. All cum—even the forgotten Ian.

Arriving home from his hard night at the bar, Ken strips and heads for the shower. What a cock! The camera pans lovingly as the water cascades over him. When he dries off he discovers Trent Atkins waiting for him in the tub. Trent is an adorable stud pup that has begun to appear in almost every film. Trent’s oral manipulations with his pierced tongue bring the big boner to its full glory. When Trent gets out of the tub to head for the bedroom his cock looks so tiny in comparison to Ken’s. When we join them in the bedroom, Ken is already fucking Trent. Damn! We missed the entry again! We do see it enter when Trent sits down on the stiff stake. When Trent grimaces, I can’t tell if he’s wearing braces or if his teeth are rotting. He lies on his back for Ken to fuck him and jacks off. Ken cums in the kid’s hair, and BLAM! The film abruptly ends.

There are no extras except for a photo gallery.

Ryker is listed as writer and producer, and–as none is credited—one assumes director. He has a commanding presence and, although his performance is not the least bit animated, one never loses interest when he is on the screen. It’s a fine first effort. Ryker fans will certainly want to add it to their collection; but this awe-inspiring gay-for-pay performer can be seen to better advantage elsewhere.