Ryker's Money Shot Review

Reviewed by Joe Shaver  on  6/27/2004

Ken Ryker is a giant of a man. He resembles that football player we all lusted over. He’s probably straight, but he will suck a dick (briefly) and, like former porn star Rick Donovan, his dick is so big that when it gets hard it’s really never stiff. (No one has that much blood in them.) Still, with his handsome face, muscular lightly haired torso, and enormous cock Ken is a force to be reckoned with. He began his career as a Falcon exclusive. At one point someone had him shave that massive chest and the result was—in my opinion—a bad career move. Thankfully, the hair is back and so is Ken. He’s freelancing now and has appeared in such films as The Matinee Idol, Ryker’s Web, Ryker’s Revenge, and now Ryker’s Money Shot.

The film opens with Brad Benton meeting Ken in a bar and telling him of how he picked up a hustler who done him wrong. Brad is one of my favorite performers who is just now emerging from his twink phase. The hustler is Ben Damon. Both know how to suck a dick and Brad rims a mean ass. (I could spend the rest of my nights in bed with Brad Benton.) Most frequently a bottom, Brad shows his versatility by giving Ben a terrific missionary fuck. Brad’s stiff dick looks really great plowing into Ben’s hairless hole. Ben moves over onto his stomach for Brad to fuck him in that position. Suddenly we cut to find Brad sitting on Ben’s dick, his own hard dick reaching for the stars. Then turning Brad onto his back, Ben fucks the cum right out of him. At their sticky conclusion, Chip Noll rushes in wearing a police uniform and snapping a few pictures. Chip tells Brad that when hustler Ben goes to trial his gayness will no longer be secret. Brad is forced to hand over $5000 dollars to keep from being outed. (Now how anyone would be intimidated by tiny Chip Noll who is only about 5’2” tall and weighs all of 90 pounds—much less believe he is a police officer—is beyond my willing suspension of disbelief.) Nevertheless, Brad pays them off and now enlists Ken to bring these guys down. He tells Ken that he will be contacted by a vice officer named Carlos.

Well, as soon as Ken goes to take a piss Carlos appears in the men’s room. (We hear Ken pissing, but why in hell don’t we see it!!!) Carlos (played by Alex Leon) gives Ken a wad of money (mostly ones, he tells him) to flash before the hustler. No sooner does Ken’s ass hit the barstool then in saunters little Chip and comes on to Ken with as little subtlety as Robert De Niro plays comedy.

Arriving at a cheap motel room, Chip and Ken begin to make out. Now this is an odd couple to beat them all. Ken’s cock is bigger than one of Chip’s arms; and, as Chip sucks on it, it looks as though someone is trying to swallow a fireplug. Ken does suck a bit on Chad’s wiener (which doesn’t get any harder than Ken’s) The next thing we know Ken’s fireplug is up the boy’s butt. Why do I think I’m watching a St. Bernard fucking a Chihuahua? It’s not erotic, but it sure is awesome. When Ken stands before Chip to jack off onto his chest, I am further amazed at the size of that thing that was up in that little boy. That Chip is sure a trooper. It’s now Ben’s turn to play cop and burst in on the scene. But no sooner does he do so than the real vice cop, Carlos, pops in right behind him.

At this point the plot thickens, as they say. Carlos wants to enlist them all in his scheme to kidnap the playboy son of a wealthy man and hold him for a million dollar ransom. Ben and Chip readily agree and—at the point of Carlos’ gun—Ken does also.

We cut to a Spa where the victim is getting a massage. Todd, the playboy, is the gorgeous Jason Hawke who has grown a funny little goatee for the role. The masseur is Toby O’Connor, a humpy kid who could give me a massage anytime. Toby gives a truly sensuous massage and believes in using his mouth as well as his hands on those stiff muscles. So, he is soon deep-throating Jason’s uncut cock. While he is being blown, Jason reaches out to lightly massage the trainer’s dick. Toby is doing such a good job that Jason gives him a kiss and sucks his stiff tool down to the root. Toby has a really nice cock that curves upward. Toby drives his tongue into Jason’s ass. It’s a very talented tongue and I expect Jason’s hole will soon be filled with that arching cock, but it’s Toby who gets fucked. A nice sixty-nine follows; then it’s back to fucking Toby who shoots a nice load while Jason is screwing him. Jason pulls out to shoot his load also. No sooner do they finish then the kidnapping takes place.

On the phone to his father, Jason tells his dad that unless he comes across with the million-dollar ransom his son will be raped. Now the question is: will his father be a good father and let his son be gang banged, or will he be a killjoy and pay the ransom.

At this point the plot has more twists than a dying cobra. When Ken takes Jason to the bathroom, we learn that they are old friends, that the kidnap scheme was Jason's idea, and that he and Ken now plan to double-cross Carlos.

Meantime Carlos is busy double-crossing Ben, Chip, and Toby (who was also in on the plan.) Then Brad confronts Carlos with knowledge of his involvement in the hustle that cheated him of $5000 and makes him suck his dick. No one forces Brad to suck Carlos’ cock, but he does so anyway. Toby watches these goings on and begins to masturbate. After lots of sloppy kisses leaving their faces covered in spit, Brad fucks Carlos. Suddenly, with no transition whatsoever we discover that Brad has given his ass up to the rough-looking conspirator. Toby starts tapping his dick on Brad’s should until he sucks it. Finally, everyone cums but me (I’m just too confused because with the information we've just been given the plot is now totally illogical). The fuck finished, Brad calls the cops on Carlos. Toby delivers the ransom money to Jason and Ken. Ken and Jason decide to leave town and play cop and hustler just as Ben and Chip used to do. For their first entrapment, their pigeon is Bobby Brennan, a cute scruffy twink. He isn’t perturbed by the scam at all. “I’ve always wanted to make it with a cop,” he tells Ken; and so a threesome ensues. Jason fucks Bobby. Ken fucks Bobby. Ken fucks Jason. Sounds as though it’s a hot scene, doesn’t it. But sadly, it’s not. What started out so well just fizzles out.

With an imaginative director like Michael Zen and stars of this caliber, I expected more. But some sloppy editing, the much-too-convoluted plot, the odd pairing in some of the sex scenes, and lackluster performances prohibit the film from achieving its full potential. I don’t really get the title either. A money shot is the name for catching an ejaculation on film. Sorrowfully, Ken’s money shots are nothing to write home about. Perhaps, the title is meant in some way to refer to the ransom money? But that’s Todd’s (i.e. Jason’s) scheme. Ironically too, the sex scenes with Ryker are the most disappointing. Those with Brad Benton steal the film. Maybe "Brad’s Cum-uppance" would have been a better title. It’s another of those fairly good films that might have been great. Quel domage!