Really Cheap Porn Movie, A Review

Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  7/22/2009

Director/sometimes wanna-be porn stud Craig Valentine rounds up some cute girls to perform in A REALLY CHEAP PORN MOVIE (2008, Stunner Studios-Florida) that's also a really BAD porn movie. Valentine's behind-the-camera schtick is telling the performers that he's lost all of his money at the racetrack and that they might not get paid; Ron Jeremy whines while other young gals giggle but everyone fucks for the camera anyway, some allowing Valentine himself to fuck them since he could not afford any male fuck buddies. He pulls this unfunny crapp for most of this DVD then spends about 5 minutes in the Behind The Scenes chit chatting with the talent and letting the viewing public know that his girls got paid. Wow, how lame; oh, and by the way, the sex scenes are not very good.

Scene 1---Ron Jeremy humps a cute, well endowed honey blonde named Robin Lee. It's a poorly lit, poorly shot exterior scene on patio furniture---! 1/2

Scene 2---Some giggly gals named Lopez suck Valentine in a poorly staged & shot POV inside of an empty swinger's club in Florida---!

Scene 3---Cover girl Victoria Colton has the (dis)honor of sucking and fucking this nimrod, goggle-wearing, rubber chicken-holding, supposedly mentally challenged character named Jimmy. Truly awful but Victoria looks great---!

Scene 4---A brief shadowy outdoor interview with Sierra Snow shifts inside to Room 215 where Valentine forgoes the POV shooting to set his camera on a stand or tripod and fuck Sierra. The wide shot poorly captures Sierra since she's rather lost in this red room setting. Valentine's butt is in a bit better view---1/2 !

Scene 5---Summer Haze and Brianna Brianna Beach think it's funny that Valentine could only afford a cucumber for dildo use in their girl/girl scene. By now, nothing in this really crappy porn movie is funny---!

Scene 6---Some gal with huge boobs and nipple rings fucks Valentine in a brief bit of POV---!

A REALLY CHEAP PORN MOVIE (2008, Stunner Studios) will, without a doubt, inhabit the budget bin at your favorite XXX outlet. I dunno, 99 cents might be too high a price to pay for this crudd, maybe mark it down to 69 cents. Final rating for A REALLY CHEAP PORN MOVIE is a chintzy 1/2! outa !!!!!