Reality 11: Singularity Review

Reviewed by Nat Hocken  on  4/16/2003

“Two Asses in the Snow.” That’s the title of the sixth segment in “Singularity,” the eleventh installment in Private’s “Reality” series. It has a certain frigid ring to it. This, of course, is the problem. What I didn’t like about “Singularity” is that all of the sex scenes have in common a businesslike approach that doesn’t waste much time on passion. In the sixth scene, Gina Blonde and Vanessa Virgin are used by three guys like a couple of those latex sex dolls that advertise easy access to every orifice, except that these dolls come with a voice chip that moans with simulated orgasmic pleasure. The following scene—another of Antonio Adamo’s elegies to Roman decadence called “Veni, Vidi, and Vice” (I came, I saw, and vice?)—begins with Liza and Alissa unenthusiastically marking time with each other until Bob Terminator shows up for his Porno 101 lesson.

The film’s other sex scenes aren’t quite as bad as these, but they aren’t much better either. Lucrecia Del Toro’s “Aristocratic Sex” is set in pre-Revolution France. Gina Dos Santos wears one of those big Marie Antoinette dresses that might be erotic if we ever got to see it in motion, but she’s sitting down when we first see her and sitting still when the sex starts. Since she’s set upon by two guys, we know in advance that we’ll be treated to a double blowjob, double-penetration, and a double facial. Like clockwork, each position rolls around right on cue.

Mandy Bright, who was a bit too chiseled for my liking in “Gladiator III,” appears somewhat smoother and softer here, in a segment called “Passion on the Beach,” a title that’s only half right. This is one of those scenes that eschews music to its detriment: Mandy and her lover don’t generate enough noise on their own to fill the void, and the scene falls flat.

The most elaborate scene is the first. Lynn Stone stars as a spaceship commander whose ship enters some kind of weird warp that transports her, her male pilot, and her anatomically correct droid (he wears swim goggles and the upper portion of his body is painted silver) into an indeterminate void they immediately begin to fill with standard issue sexual activity. The animation isn’t as impressive as that in “Restricted Area” (also directed by Little Al, from “Wild Adventures,” part of Private’s “Reality” series), and, worse, it isn’t as smoothly integrated with the sex. It’s also marred by rapid-fire editing and position shifts.

Also included on the disc are behind the scenes segments on the making of “Alpine Sex” and the backstage shenanigans at the 2002 Erotic Film Festival in Cannes, at which, it seems, Rita Faltoyano’s “impressive tits” were the focal point of cameras from all over the world. Unfortunately, that’s about all we have to work with in “Singularity,” as well: T and A and hardcore sex divorced from the totality of the sexual experience.