Pros 2 Review

My first look at Guy Capo's fuckumentary on whores. Some people argue that porn stars are really only hookers since they have sex for money. This line seems to play on that. The male performers' faces are blurred out in every scene for the john effect (what... to protect the innocent?!) but I can't bitch too much about that.

Flower Tucci:

Flower is giving an interview on what it's like to work in a brothel and the advantages it holds over the street. At one point the angle suggests that she's reading off a cue card. Silhoutted john sounds like Van Damage. Flower talks about how nasty she likes to give it and how the clients eat it all up.

Flower is looking rather trashy today with her crimped hair. I like I like. Van Damage doesn't seem to get hard during the initial blowjob. Camera edit to mish. Flower is looking at something. I can't tell the angle that Van Damage is at so I pretend she's looking at the clock. Your usual squirting antics. Flower finally gets a chance to show her oral skills when Van is hard. At first I think there's some squirt on the lens but then realise it's just Van's blurred out face. Talk about tech comedy. Cumshot on the tongue. Good scene.

Austin Kincaid:

Some high end brothel called the Club. Austin brags about the athletes, doctors, and lawyers that pay her to have sex and talks about respecting their confidentiality. Well no shit... gotta keep that gravy train going. Silhouetted guy has a euro accent.

Cut to doggy sex. Austin kind of reminds me of a cross between Devinn Lane and Stephanie Swift. Big augmented tits. Man the house they rented out as the "Club" is colour disaster, heh. Only in California. Mediocre blowjob. Sex was standard. Cumshot on the tits.

Shy Love:

I heard someone once compare Shy to a chipmunk with her skin tone, eyes, and teeth. Well, she'd make a good chippette. Pretty. Reminds me a little of Olivia O'Lovely. Not sure what race she is. She interviews that she likes to be a high end prostitute. She says she'll do things that girlfriends and wives won't do. Gee... I wonder what they could be.

Hidden john speaks in french. I guess I should refer to him as jean. Straight to mish. Interspersing blowjobs between changes in position. Too brief to gauge the quality. The scene promised anal and you get anal. Atm. Best position is rca. Cumshot on the chin. Good scene.

Kelly Taylor:

I can see why Kelly uses this porn name cause she looks like a she could be a roughed up Jennie Garth with even bigger implants. Back to the colourful gaudy house. Kelly is a rich girl that became a hooker. "Just because I have class doesn't mean I won't resort to nasty." He may be silhouetted but I recognise from the obnoxious accent that the john is Sascha.

Weak blowjob. Regular sex. Cumshot on the tits. Weakest scene of the movie.

Dani Woodward:

Dani Woodward talks about being the teen addition of the club and how the johns prefer them young. The frat boy type silhouette guy (Cheyne Collins) seems to agree in a separate interview and puts down the women in his age range.

Dani Woodward gives a great blowjob. Maybe a little too much time spent in the cowgirl position since all we see is her back (and her back tattoo) for a good bit. Convenient that it blocks the john's head though. Best position was probably mish on the couch. She moans and gasps a lot. Maybe it adds to her rate. Not as much as talking as she did when she first came into the industry though.

Naudia Nyce & Nautica Thorn:

Two girls one guy is probably every man's fantasy. It's possible with the use of hookers. Expensive but possible. You can tell by the tattoos that the guy is Lee Stone.

Initial blowjobs were shadowed. Naudia is a better on the stick than Nautica. Lee would fuck one girl mish while she eats out the other girl. While she is being fucked, Nautica pulls a toy out and plugs naudia's ass to keep her busy. Then Lee plunges his crooked schlong into the newly paved hershey highway. Atm by Naudia but no a2ogm from Nautica. Shared facial ends the scene. An okay scene.

Parting Thoughts:

Well I like this fuckumentary even though it tongue in cheek takes things seriously. I would've liked to have seen some comedy by having the guys fumble through negotiations with a girl. Instead the comedy are relegated to the BTS as the girls screw up their lines. The video had a reddish tint to suggest the red light nature of the film. Nice touch. Sex overall was average but the other aspects of the movie kept it interesting. If you have any questions or comments, shoot me an email.