Pirate 5: Love Me Deadly Review

Running Time: 80 min. (cover states 90 min. with extras)

Production Date: Jan. 1998

Director: Frank Thring

Cast: Judith Kostner, Judith, Kristina Jossa (also listed as Mina), Miralda, Nikki Anderson, Natasha Rutska, Suzy Q, Vanda, David Perry, Frank Gun, John Walton, and Robert Rosenberg

Initial Expectations: I’ve really enjoyed almost everything I’ve seen from Private’s Pirate line, which gives me good hope here as well.

Initial Reaction: It’s a little more mainstream friendly than many of the other Pirate titles I’ve seen, but it’s still better than an awful lot of the other stuff out there.

Who Should Watch It : Fans of anal sex and fetishwear

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody who thinks a woman only has one hole that needs any attention

Audio /Video Quality: The audio is normally very clear, but does have a few problems. There’s a bit of dubbing that’s fairly obvious as well as some audio that sounds a bit hollow. The video is extremely clear except for a few places that have a dark line that flashes across the top of the screen. I’m not sure what this is from, but it is extremely noticeable the few times it happens.

Music: The music rests very softly in the background and has an almost classical feel to it.

Disc Problems / Complaints: As usual, Private lists the running time as a total of feature with extras. They’re one of the only companies to do this, and it’s become one of my biggest pet peeves. Almost everybody else lists the feature time only. If you’re on a budget and between two titles, the running time might be a factor, yet Private won’t give it to you. It’s kind of like going to a restaurant for a steak and the menu listing a weight that includes the steak, potatoes, veggies, garnish, and plate.

Menus: The main menu has a nice little bit of animation and works the chapter menu into it.

The Feature: Private’s Pirate Video Magazine has a simple format. You start with thee unrelated stories, and then pack them full of fairly extreme sex with a fetish feel. This time around, all three stories focus on spies and thieves, only James Bond never had it this good.

The first sequence blends together two scenes. As Natasha Rutska, a gorgeous brunette with a nice set of real tits, takes on Robert Rosenberg and David Perry, captured spy double-O (Frank Gun) has his last unspoken wish granted by Vanda, here a tan bleached blonde. As Frank sits blindfolded and bound in a chair, Vanda sucks his cock and then sits on his lap gyrating on his cock without letting it penetrate her pussy while he sucks her nicely natural nipples. She climbs onto his cock for reverse cowgirl action, and guides Frank’s cock into both of her holes. She finishes him off with a little stroking and sucking and is rewarded with a small pop in her mouth that she spits back at him before leaving. It’s a fair scene, but didn’t do a whole lot for me.

Meanwhile, Natasha, who reminds me quite a bit of Devinn Lane with the exception of Natasha taking cock on camera, quickly bends over to suck David Perry’s cock as Robert fucks her form behind. Natasha nicely works to keep a cock in one of her holes while another stays in her mouth. As with most Private girls, Natasha isn’t at all afraid to take a cock in her her ass and she doesn’t shy away from the double penetration either. The finishes things up with a nice double facial that she deems to look forward to end enjoy when it arrives. The chemistry is a little weak at times, but Natasha does finish it off extremely well after appearing to enjoy herself. It’s a borderline hot scene, but the editing felt a little choppy. I don’t think there was a single time when you actually got to see the position change.

Nikki Andersson starts out the next scene in a rubber maids outfit and with Robert Rosenberg’s cock in her mouth. She takes her time sucking him, and enjoys knowing that visitor John Walton is listening to her suck cock while he strokes his own. John continues to stoke himself as Nikki gets her pussy eaten and fucked reverse cowgirl style. He finally joins in, and takes turns with Robert between fucking Nikki in each of her holes and getting sucked off. Not surprisingly, Nikki also lets the guys double penetrate her on the stairs before the guys spray her face and mouth with population pudding. She shies away from her facial at first, but I think that’s probably more experience talking than anything. As she sucks out the last few drops, she does look toward the camera and give it a very nice smile. It’s a fairly hot scene, but it does feel a bit cold at times.

Frank Gun shows up for the second part of this sequence, as Suzy Q sits on her face while holding a crop while Kristina Jossa sucks his cock. Once again, they’re found by John Walton who can’t resist stroking his cock. He’s immediately seen by Suzy, who comes over to suck it as Kristina moves her twat onto Frank’s cock. John and Suzy move back onto the bed, where John starts fucking Kristina’s pussy as the girls team up to suck Frank’s cock. John also takes the first turn in Suzy, but starts in her ass. Kristina gets her ass fucked as well, and both girls finish things up with a double penetration before taking a nice helping of ball snot on their face. It’s a pretty hot scene that actually has some decent chemistry as well. I wasn’t overly impressed with Kristina, although I do think she did a decent job, but Suzy did a great job.

Miralda starts out playing with herself while fantasizing about having David Perry as a slave. David starts worshiping her shoes and feet before she allows him to take off her shoes and kiss his way up to her pussy as she sits back and smokes her cigarette. Miralda rewards David by sucking his cock before lying back so he can have easy access to fuck her pussy. David fucks her pussy in a few common positions before spooning her ass, and finishes things off with a nice spooge spurt for Miralda’s face. It’s a pretty good scene, but Miralda’s masturbation sequences are some of the best of it. Most of the attention is given to her fantasy, but there’s enough of her masturbating to show how much she’s into it.

Finally, Judith Kostner, a hot blonde, takes on Robert Rosenberg, John Walton, and David Perry after catching them trying to rob her. They try to leave, but she stops them and drops down to work them over orally before letting them take turns fucking her. Not surprisingly, it doesn’t take long before Judith is getting her sphinter speared, and it actually gets a little amusing. I’m not sure if she uses a different kind of lube or if it’s something with the mastering, but for a bit her bunghole was a bright yellow. I’m not sure, but this just might be why some call it the cornhole. She also takes a quick double penetration before the guys hose her down with their spooger-soakers. It’s another pretty good scene, but it seemed a bit rushed. It also lacked a bit of chemistry. Judith has a nice naughty smile that she shows off very well at the start of the scene, but after that I have to admit to expecting a little more here.

Pirate Video Magazine 5: Love Me Deadly is a great place to start for anybody who’s curious about fetish sex. It works a little kink into most of the scenes, such as a little foot worship, voyeurism, and fetishwear, but it doesn’t get so into any particular fetish that it might scare off new viewers. More than anything, the feature focuses on anal sex and double penetrations, which is pretty standard fare for most Private features. There’s a little setup for each of the three stores, but they never really take over the scene at all and actually do help set things up for the sex.

For another perspective on this DVD, please check out reviewer’s review.

Extras: Trailers are included for Love Me Deadly as well as Matador 10: Throbbin’ Choppers, The Fetish Collection, The Private Life of Cassandra Wild, Private Reality Video 3, and Superfuckers 5. Bios are included for Judit, Mina, Miralda, Natasha, Nikki Andersson, Susy Q., and Vanda. Each bio includes a little bit of personal information, a few stills, and a list of the star’s other work. The photo gallery includes about thirty four very nice looking photos. Finally, the production notes give a small rundown of each scene as well as a little information about the shooting of the movie.

Themes: Straight, group, fetishwear, anal, DP, masturbation (both male and female), lesbian (light), foot and shoe worship,

Raincoat Factor: Very high

Overall: Currently, Love me Deadly can be found online for between $20 and $25 with a decent spread between stores. This is a pretty fair price, although it seems a bit high. The sex is very well done and mainstream friendly, and there’s very little plot to get in the way. There’s a few minor technical problems, but the extras are nicely done.

Note to Private: Please change a couple minor things. List the feature running time on your covers so people can actually compare apples to apples when looking at DVDs. Also, please be a little more consistent in listing your stars. In your bios there are several names that don’t match up between the movie and the bios.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

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