Perfectly Flawless Review

Reviewed by dumblonde  on  3/25/2002

Director: Nicholas Steele
Writer: Philip O'Toole
Videographer: Philip O'Toole
Running length: 1 hr. 50 min.
D.O.P. 3/22/2000

Female cast: Ava Vincent, Wendy Divine, Charlene Aspen, McKayla, Felecia Ryder

Male cast: Joey Ray, Damien Michaels, Mark Davis, Frank Fortuna, Jeff Armstrong

Audio/Video: The video was okay, though a lot of it was kinda dark. I also noticed a red dot that kept appearing during Joey and Wendy's scene. Not a big deal really, but if I noticed it, you know it had to be annoying.
The audio sucked. It was kind of muffled, and hard to understand what they were saying at times, but that doesn't usually bother me. It might bother you, however.

Extras: Hot Shot feature, which takes you right to the cumshot. This is a good idea that could be even better with the ability to auto-repeat. I would imagine that there's nothing more frustrating than being almost there, then having to futz around with the remote again. Especially when your paws are all...slippery. Trailers & photo stills. The boxcover says there is a behind the scenes, but there isn't, unless it's hidden somewhere. The interactive game listed was not to be found either.

The Movie:
Is there anything worse than having to watch your ex-husband having sex with other women? Yes, there is - watching Damien Michaels having sex. Seeing Joey screw his brains out actually isn't much different than being married to him, and at least I can critique his performance here without fear of a 'domestic disturbance'.

This is an ambitious feature that should appeal to the couples market. Couples who enjoy watching Jerry Springer, or think of OZ as family viewing, that is. The story centers on a jewel heist, with the usual dirtbags and doublecrossings that entails. It opens with Joey being released from prison, a role he knows only too well. Instead of giving away the plot, and because my creative writing skills are lazy today, here's what it says on the boxcover:

With a respectable job as a museum curator, Ava finds little time for xxxtracurricular activities. But her obsession with gems leads her into a tangled web of sex, lies and Joey Ray. She meets her match in the rough, rogue hands of this ex-con. And they share more than their passion for one another...their passion for jewels.

That sums it up very nicely, and the plot is actually pretty good for a porno. The camera work, sets and gadgets (love those night vision goggles) gave it a mainstream feel, but let's face it - what really counts is the sex, and watching Damien Michaels in action actually had me looking forward to Joey's scenes. I also didn't care for the very noticeable condoms.
As an objective reviewer I will say that Wendy and Joey smoked the screen, even more than his scene with Ava (though he did have buttsex with Ava, for those of you like Joey, who can't get enough of that).
I've gotta admit, Joey is the best looking porn actor to come on the scene (and on cue) in a long time. How long have I been complaining about the lack of attractive men for women who like porn (all 7 of us)? So, in the interest of perhaps getting more female viewership, I've decided to let bygones be bygones, and even help promote Joey, if I could. Besides, I shared him with y'all during our marriage, I see no reason not to now.

Sex scene 1: Damien Michaels and Felicia Ryder condom
These two are matched up nicely. That's the nicest thing I can say after watching them boink in a fleabag hotel room. She has bad fake tits, which is an instant turn-off for me, but not for someone like Damien. He's probably the kind of guy who thinks they look good. The sex was okay - it's just not my kink to watch unattractive lowlifes mate. Attractive lowlifes is another matter entirely.

Sex scene 2: Ava and Charlene Aspen
After that last scene, I almost welcome the mandatory 'lesbian' love fest. It's actually pretty warm, with Ava squirming all over a dildo wielded by Charlene.

Sex scene 3: Joey and Wendy Divine. condom
Wow! Wendy plays a waitress (he always did have a thing for them) in a diner, but the way these two hungrily go at each other, I have doubts about the food service in this place.
Wendy's got him butt naked and his cock in her mouth before she even removes a stitch of clothing herself. Go girl! He likes her service, and gives her a huge tip, some extended fingering, oral, and a good pounding bent over the dinette, among other things. He finally squirts what looks like a vanilla milkshake all over Wendy's breasts. Damn good work you two!
You know, Joey wasn't ALL bad, really. He did have some good qualities.

Sex scene 4: Mark Davis and Charlene Aspen
They're both guards in the museum that houses the flawless jewel. What better reason for a good, long blowjob on the staircase? Besides, I think it's some kind of law that Mark Davis has to appear in every porno.

Sex scene 5: Damien Michaels and McKayla condom
It's too bad he didn't have Damien's role, however. McKayla at least has real breasts, but well, let's just move along.

Sex scene 6: Joey Ray and Ava Vincent condom
I won't give away the plot, mainly because I wasn't paying attention. Ava gets on her knees and sucks Joey's humdinger for awhile before getting fingered and ass-fucked. Oh, I mean 'anal sex was performed', excuse me. Joey gets her twitching and screaming with those magic fingers of his, before bending her over the glass display case. The condom he wears is very distracting - surely there's less noticable ones than these white hefty bags. She rides him RC, screamin and hollering. Ava dear, loud screaming does not mean sexual heat. And come ON, he's not THAT good, are you kidding? He does pop another huge one all over her titties, however.

I think you can pick this one up for $10. or less, so I tried not to be too harsh. This movie could've rocked, if the sex wasn't so routine, and the sound problem was fixed and..I don't mean to bash Damien, it's not that he's repugnant...well, yes he is, actually, but that's just my opinion, and God knows, my taste in men isn't exactly discriminating.

SCREENSHOTS of Perfectly Flawless

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