P (Vinegar Syndrome) Review

Distributor: Vinegar Syndrome Edition Details: Standard Streaming Movie Specs: Genres: Golden Age Classic, Feature Film Also known as: Golden Shower Girl Run Time: 76 minutes Rated: X Release Year: 1974 Director: Bill Osco (as Tom), Jason Williams Written by: uncredited Cast: Cindy Camelot, Jason Williams Release Specs: Audio: English Mono Subtitles: none Video: Full Frame, 1.33:1 Video Format: NTSC Format: Streaming Regional Code (for DVD/Blu-ray): N/A Number of discs: N/A

P is a truly bizarre adult feature film to have come out of the mid-70s. P appears to be a take-off of the 1968 book Candy by Terry Southern and Mason Hoffenberg — which some consider to be a parody of Voltaire's Candide ou l'Optimisme. The pseudonymous director of P goes only by the name Tom and none of the cast members appear to be known at all, which is too bad because the story behind P would likely be far better than the film itself.

P tells the story of Alyssa Carfield, a naïve girl who wanders through the city. Alyssa's naïveté causes her to become used and she ends up no better off at the end of each situation than she was at the beginning. P opens with Alyssa and her grandmother Mrs. P.J. Worthington arriving in the city by bus to meet Alyssa's uncle Lucient Mayfair, who her grandmother insists is uncle Frederick Remington, who is no good and the black sheep. Lucient lives in a boarding home with several perverts and the two are stuck in a tiny room. Alyssa's grandmother insists they leave after she finds one of the perverts getting blown by Alyssa in the kitchen and the two set out into the city with no plans or money.

It seems far more likely to this reviewer that P was inspired by Candy since the philosophical aspects that Voltaire has in Candide ou l'Optimisme are nowhere to be found in P, not that adult films are known for their philosophical discussions. The only carry over from Candide ou l'Optimisme is just the concept of the naïveté of Alyssa that ends up causing each situation. Noticeably absent from both is the comedic aspect of them. Tom seems to have tried to be funny in his film, however, what is here seems to be complete misfires. For instance, when Alyssa and her grandmother are meeting with Bradford Morris at a café outdoor seating, the waiter comes out wearing a mask of Richard Milhous Nixon.

The sex scenes in P are not great, which may be being too nice. Tom does include a partial blow job at the beginning, which is plot related, which this reviewer appreciated. It is not common for a sex act to be partial and actually for advancing the plot. However, that is where the praise for the sex scenes ends. Most of the scenes are awkward with a heavy tendency to use gynecological close-ups. At the end of each of her sex scenes, Tom has Alyssa “cum” by shooting milk out of her vagina into the face of her sex partner. The reason behind this escapes this reviewer.

There is one sex scene, at the end of the film, that ends with such a completely mind-bogglingly bizarre and not erotic sequence that it truly makes one wonder what the fuck Tom was thinking when he shot it. The scene ends with the male using a piece of fried chicken to get off Alyssa, followed by some celery, and culminating in mashing a hard boiled egg inside her pussy. And this is how the viewer is left at the end of the film, shaking their head wondering what the fuck they just watched.

The technical details within P are rather abysmal. P appears to have been shot with one camera that gets awkwardly moved at times during the filming, which is kept in the film. There are some horrible camera angles used in the film. The camera man's hand can be seen at times when it goes in front of the camera lens. The blaring horns of a firetruck can be heard as they went by the location during one scene that Tom never bothered to reshoot. There is some horrific dubbing at times in the film as well.

Despite the incompetent filmmaking techniques and issues that P has, it does appear to this reviewer that Tom really did care about the film. Tom utilized a lot of locations that worked well for the film and has shots and locations that are entirely for non-sexual portions of the film. Who Tom really is and why he made P is likely never to be known. However, he put more work into P than one often finds in a one day wonder.

Tom may have cared about making P but sadly it is unlikely that anyone else will care to watch P. P is too much of a mess with its horrible technical aspects, some flat out bizarre sex scenes, and the like to do much other than make viewers shake their head asking why, just why.

The edition of P screened is the streaming only version available from Vinegar Syndrome's Exploitation.TV. Vinegar Syndrome has done a decent job with their streaming release of P. P was shot on film and looks to this reviewer like it was mastered off of a worn and beaten film print. P is presented in the academy aspect ratio of 1.33:1. The print that Vinegar Syndrome has used has seen better days with grain, print damage, artifacts, jumps. The colors in the image aren't very vibrant. This isn't to say that P is unwatchable because that isn't true. Just expect an old worn print.

It is unclear but the print used for this release may have been edited. It is highly unlikely that Vinegar Syndrome edited the print since they are against editing films and have previously released films with similar content. If the print is edited, it was likely done by the distributor or theater. There appears to be a missing golden shower that is set up and a quick cut happens just before the peeing would have started. Given the rarity of the film, this may be the only print in existence and there may be no way to know for sure if this print was edited at some point in its life.

P is presented with an English monaural audio track. There is damage to the audio, in addition, there are crackles and pops in the sound presentation. At some points in the film, there is no sound at all. It isn't clear if this is due to damage to the audio or whether there wasn't any sound there in the masters. The dialog is affected by the damage in the beginning of the film but throughout most of the film is clear and easy to understand.

Vinegar Syndrome hasn't included any extras for P.

P is an absolutely bizarre adult film made by someone known only as Tom, who appears to have little to no filmmaking knowledge, who managed to make about every technical mistake possible. In addition, the film has some strange sex scenes and the most outrageous depiction of a woman cumming that has probably ever been put onto celluloid. It is impossible to recommend P to any viewer and viewers who choose to watch it will question themselves as to why afterward. Vinegar Syndrome has done a decent job with their streaming version of P available on Exploitation.TV. The print they used to master P has seen heavy wear over its life but is still watchable.

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