On the Loose Review

Cast: Monique DeMoan, Gwen Summers, Shelby Myne, Brooklyn Rhodes, Rubee Tuesday, Joel Lawrence, Steve Hatcher, Ian Daniels, Nick East and Rod Fontana.

Director: Roy Karch

Production date: 2/20/01

Length: 79 min.

Extras: A 12-min. bonus scene, short biographies for all performers except Rubee Tuesday and a disappointing slide show with only ten stills.

Disc problems: This previews won't run on my Apple DVD Player (version 2.2.1). This may or may not be an issue on other players.

False advertising: The box claims that "Monique DeMoan returns home and finds...the women are hotter, and men are harder, and Monique is ready to try them all! She samples slick slots and thick shafts..." Actually, there's no lesbian sex in the feature, and Monique appears in one scene only, with one shaft only. There's also an Adam & Eve Interactive logo on the cover, which seems a bit disingenuous. I haven't found a single interactive element on this disc; there are no multiple angles and no "hot shot" button.

Audio/visual quality: In general, the video quality is nicely professional, with a pleasing mix of long, medium and close-up shots. The lighting is good, and the focus is reasonably crisp. Light jazz and a cute theme grace the soundtrack. The audio is well balanced; however, there's a low, persistent, mechanical hum that sounds like train engines in the distance.

First impression: On the Loose is so vanilla that you can probably find it in the spice aisle at your local grocery store.

Scene highlights: This movie has a plot--i.e., a cemetery plot. The story is beyond any hope of resuscitation. Basically, Monique DeMoan arrives in her hometown after an absence of two years. While she's searching for a suitable place to live, some of her old acquaintances enjoy couples' sex in their bedrooms. With minimal trouble, Monique finds an apartment and works out a payment plan (I'm sure you can guess what that means).

The first couple are Brooklyn Rhodes and Nick East. I honestly didn't recognize Nick here, since I know him only from movies when he was younger and more neatly groomed. Nick tries to engage Brooklyn in sexy talk, but she's rather passive and doesn't give much back, especially in the beginning. The lovemaking takes place in a bed and includes a blow job, doggie, spooning and missionary. Nick provides a little anal stimulation to Brooklyn with his thumb, and the scene concludes with a modest pop on her belly. Overall, there's too much "cold camera" footage here for my taste. Brooklyn's arm completely blocks the view of the blow job for nearly half a minute, which feels like an eternity in porn time.

The second couple are Gwen Summers and Steve Hatcher. I'd wager that there's a tank of laughing gas and a room full of helium balloons somewhere on this set. The giggles and squeals are abundant. Gwen also emits an "uhn-uhn-uhn" noise that's difficult to describe; it's like the "machine gun" sound little kids make when they're playing, but in slow motion. She's having fun, I think, but it's a lot more fun than I'm having. They work through a few standard positions in their bed, and Gwen catches the cum on her chin and chest.

The third couple are Shelby Myne and Ian Daniels. Shelby's attitude initially suggests a hotter, nastier scene, but they stick with oral and vaginal sex in a bed (and the facial mostly misses). I have two questions: why is Shelby's tongue lollipop green, and why doesn't Ian take his shoes off? Actually, I've seen Ian in three movies now, and he wears shoes in all three. I don't know the inside story here, and I certainly don't mean to be cruel. But if Ian really must wear shoes, I humbly suggest these alternatives. (a) Give this man some sexy footwear. Boots would be good--cowboy boots, biker boots, construction worker boots--anything except those ubiquitous athletic shoes. (b) Use camera angles that never show his feet. How hard could that be? Speaking of camera angles, another problem with this scene is that both performers occasionally stare off into space. If I understand the layout of the room correctly, they're watching themselves in a mirror. Unfortunately, the camera angle neglects to show this directly, instead giving the impression that Ian is stoned and Shelby is miffed.

The fourth couple are Rubee Tuesday and Rod Fontana. This is my favorite scene on the disc, although that isn't saying much. Both Rubee and Rod are middle-aged, and I have a special place in my heart for middle-aged performers. They give me great hope that I, too, can someday be a dirty old woman. If you don't like seeing the cumulative effects of gravity on real breasts, skip this chapter entirely. I'm totally okay with it, and I'm happy to report that Rubee and Rod generate a respectable amount of heat. And, they do it on a couch! (I suspect it's a hide-a-bed, though.) This scene could have been so much better, though, if they had shown the anal intercourse instead of just talking about it.

The fifth couple are Monique and Joel Lawrence. It's a decent scene (I've never seen a bad one from Joel) but unfortunately, it's too little, too late. Monique and her new landlord Joel agree to work out the terms of her lease at his place. The well-appointed bachelor pad includes black leather bean bags, a zebra pattern rug and a conveniently pre-lit fire on the hearth. The chemistry is good, but the action is standard: blow job, oral, missionary, doggie. Joel puts the deposit on her pussy. (Wait, isn't Monique the one who's supposed to be paying a deposit?)

There are no credits for the bonus scene. The blonde is definitely Renee LaRue. After a little online research, I believe I can identify the brunette as Shaena Steele and the movie as Once a Year. Shaena treats Renee to some excellent tongue work, and Renee returns the favor with a vibrator. It's a shame the scene ends rather abruptly and the original source material goes unnamed. The music and the camera angles are both quite pleasing.

Thumbs up: With the exception of the audio hum, the production values are quite high. Also, as mentioned in previous reviews, I always appreciate gender equity in the biographies. It's good to see the male performers represented along with the female performers.

Thumbs down: Believe it or not, I actually like couples' films. I don't need anything more than straight, oral and vaginal sex, IF a good story enhances the erotic content. Here, there's not much story and a whole lot of unsupported allusions. There's a reference to lesbian sex between Gwen and Monique, but none is ever shown. There's a reference to three-ways involving Shelby and Ian, but none are ever shown. There's a reference to anal sex between Rubee and Rod, but none is ever shown. Hey, it's not nice to tease.

The packaging is a tease, as well. The hyperbolic text (every! sentence! ends! with an exclamation point!!!) implies that this movie is a star vehicle for Monique, who poses on both front and back covers. That's deceptive, considering how little we see of her in the feature itself.

Themes: Straight, oral, facials.

Condom use: Yes, in scenes two (Gwen/Steve) and three (Shelby/Ian).

Juice-o-meter: Sniff, sniff... I think I can still wear these panties one more day before I have to wash them.

Final analysis: Next time, I think I'll pass on the vanilla and pick up the cayenne. Don't buy this DVD unless you can find it at a bargain price; it's not worthy of Adam & Eve's "Premium Collection" label.


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