Not a Romance Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  9/7/2004

The Little Details

Running Time: 86 min.

Production Date: 11 / 20 / 2002

Director: Jonathan Morgan

Cast: Stormy, Bridgette Kerkove, Jassie, Nicole Sheridan, Trevor Zen, Brad Armstrong, Voodoo, Scott Styles, and Aria in a non-sex role

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: I haven’t seen much of Stormy, but the little I have gives me a lot of hope, especially with Jonathan Morgan behind the camera.

Initial Reaction: It’s well done, but not quite what I expected.

Who Should Watch It : Anybody wanting nice sex with a non-so-happy story

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting happy “couples porn”

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are very well done, just as one expects from Wicked. The audio is clear and well balanced, and I don’t think I even heard the hint of a background noise. I don’t think a person can really appreciate the audio quality here unless you watch the extras and see the conditions some of the movie was shot in. The video is just as good. It barely even has a hint of grain, and is even throughout the entire movie. There’s a few areas which are a little dark, but they’re rare and don’t interfere with the overall movie too much.

Music: The music is nicely done. Odds are if you’ve watched a lot of Wicked movies you’ve heard some of it before, but I really like its style. It’s also nicely balanced with the rest of the audio.

Menus: As usual, Wicked has put some nice effort into their menus. The main menu has some nice animation combined with the boxcover to give a very nice first impression. The chapter menu is okay, and lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of each scene and a chapter number.

The Feature

It’s an affair, not a romance. That’s what Brad and Stormy keep telling each other. They’re just there to satisfy each other’s sexual needs. There doesn’t need to be anything else. But what happens when those other feelings start to appear?

Scene 1 - Stormy and Jassie

Stormy starts things out fantasizing about what she’d like to do with Jassie. They start out with a passionate kiss in a parking lot before Stormy moves down to tongue her clit. Jassie returns the favor as Stormy sits on the hood before they move to a bench for Stormy go back to work on Jassie. She gives Jassie a little more tongue and tickle before they finish things up with a kiss.

This is a pretty good scene, but not a great one. The girls have an okay energy level but the chemistry lacks a bit. The scene also doesn’t feel like much since it’s basically a back and forth and the girls are done. This is an okay start to the movie, but not quite as good as normal from Wicked and Jonathan.

Scene 2 - Stormy and Trevor Zen

Stormy and Trevor get it on when he wakes up horny and thinks he heard Stormy masturbating. He tells her he was dreaming of her giving him a blowjob, and she immediately brings his fantasy into the real world. Stormy sucks and strokes Trevor sensually until he pops on her tongue. As soon as she gets the first taste, Stormy gets right down to see how much more she can suck out.

This is a great oral scene. It’s short, but there’s some definite heat between Stormy and Trevor. There’s nice energy as well, and although it’s not nearly as long as the opening scene it ends up being much hotter.

Scene 3 - Bridgette Kerkove and Trevor Zen

After learning of the affair, Trevor gives Bridgette a job and then gets it on with her. They kiss before Bridgette drops to her knees to mouth Trevor’s meat while giving him some fantastic eyes. She climbs up to ride Trevor cowgirl style before letting him bone her bald beaver missionary style. Bridgette moves up to get her anal fix both reverse cowgirl and missionary style. Finally, Trevor gives Bridgette a pretty good facial. He doesn’t deliver a monster facial, but Bridgette accepts it lovingly and treats every drop as if it were liquid gold.

This is a pretty hot scene. Bridgette and Trevor put in some nice energy and chemistry, and deliver a hard and hot scene. It occasionally feels like it’s being held back a little so as to keep a soft couples feel, but most of the time works well. The camera work helps with the feel, and delivers a nice variety of well balanced shots.

Scene 4 - Stormy and Brad Armstrong

Stormy and Brad hook up for a nooner in the penultimate scene. Brad plays with Stormy’s slit while she puts her amazing oral skills to work on him before letting her climb up for a reverse cowgirl ride. They move on to spoon and bump uglies doggie style before Brad finishes Stormy off with a good ball blast which almost completely misses her face.

This is a hot scene. At this time, Stormy and Brad were a real life couple, and they deliver just what you’d hope for here from a real life couple. They have great chemistry as well as excellent energy, and the camera captures it all extremely well. This is a great scene, especially for being the pivotal scene of the movie.

Scene 5 - Nicole Sheridan and Voodoo

After a little talking and a little wine, Nicole gobbles Voodoo’s knob. She doesn’t bother letting him tongue her twat, and hops right up to bounce on his schlong reverse cowgirl style. They keep going with some slow missionary work and doggie before Nicole takes a very nice open eyed facial. She captures all of Voodoo’s seed on her tongue she can, and then goes in to suck out the last few drops.

Not surprisingly, this is another nice scene. Nicole and Voodoo have plenty of passion working here, and do it without going over the top. It’s a slow and sensual scene, and the camera captures it very nicely. This is a very nice scene with some great heat.

Scene 6 - Bridgette Kerkove and Scott Styles

After Brad gives her a little cash, Bridgette goes to work on Scott. She sloppily sucks his shaft and nibbles on his nuts before letting him go directly to spearing her snatch missionary style. Scotty quickly moves on to fuck Bridgette’s ass reverse cowgirl style, as well as doggie style. Finally, Bridgette takes a very nice facial to finish things up and sucks the last few drops out with a bright eyed smile.

This is an excellent scene, and probably the best in the entire feature. Bridgette’s looks often don’t do much for me, but here she looks fantastic. She also makes this entire scene work with some great trash talking, nice energy, and fantastic chemistry with Scott. She does the anal with the ease of a true professional, and even for somebody just stumbling upon Bridgette for the first time here should be able to see why she’s the queen of anal. This is an excellent scene to finish things up with.

Not a Romance is a nicely done but sad feature film. You can see how the relationships develop as well as how they disintegrate, with Stormy and Brad both doing a great job playing the entire range of emotions. The sex is also nicely done, although it does seem a bit soft and like it might have been held back at times. I also would have liked a bit more pussy eating in the movie, as I think it only happens in the lesbian lick-fest between Stormy and Jassie. Stormy does a very good job sexually, but it’s Bridgette Kerkove who steals the movie with her final scene. The camera work is also very nice, and there are plenty of jib shots to give a wide range of viewing angles. My only real problem with the movie is the subject. It’s all about cheating and relationships disintegrating, which is anything but whacking material. I frequently felt a bit down while watching the movie, which definitely interfered with my getting into the movie. It’s kind of like with Antonio Passolini’s magnificent Bliss. It’s a great movie, but not necessarily the thing people want when checking out porn. Not a Romance is a very well done adult film, but not the best of subjects for porn.

The Extra Stuff

Trailers are included for Crazed, The Kissing Game, Hell on Heels, Flashpoint, Double Feature!, The Bride of Double Feature, Dream Quest, Knockout, Pornogothic, Satyr, Sex Safari, Vengeance, and Working Girl. Star stats / bios are included for Stormy, Bridgette Kerkove, Jassie, Nicole Sheridan, and Brad Armstrong. Each bio includes quite a bit of personal information, a photo of the star, and a link to the star’s scene. The usual wicked extras of promotional materials, the Wicked Casino, a company profile, web links, and a list of Wicked’s award winning and nominated DVDs are also here, as well as bloopers and several photo galleries.

Photos galleries are included for the feature, the making of the feature, and the stars. The main photo gallery lasts nearly three minutes with about six seconds per very nice looking snapshot or full screen photo, while the behind the scenes gallery lasts about a minute and three quarters. Star galleries are included for Stormy, Bridgette Kerkove, and Jassie lasting about two minutes, and Nicole Sheridan for about a minute and a quarter.

The blooper reel lasts about four and a half minutes. There’s plenty of flubbed lines, physical screwups, and the stars dealing with other things happening around the set. It’s a fun little featurette, and worth checking out if you enjoy bloopers.

The box cover shoot lasts nearly four minutes. As usual, this is basically Brad and Stormy getting ready for their photo shoot and doing the shoot set to music. There’s a few comments thrown in here and there from the performers and photographer, but for the most part is just music and the stars in fast forward mode. It’s an okay featurette that works pretty good just because it’s more eye candy with Stormy.

There’s also a featurette on Stormy’s body casting which lasts about eight minutes. Stormy narrates things going in, including talking about being afraid to shave her pussy and masturbating in front of a mirror to get herself ready for the molding, as well as adding several comments through the molding process. This wasn’t a feature I really looked forward too, but Stormy makes it a lot of fun. She makes plenty of really fun comments and shows off a great personality. This is a nice featurette which far exceeded what I expected.

Stormy joins director Jonathan Morgan for an audio commentary. As usual, Jonathan brings plenty out of his commentary companion, and Stormy never seems like she holds anything back. They talk about their personal lives, making the movie, and people’s reactions to them being porn people. It’s a very nice commentary, and once again Jonathan and Stormy show themselves to be anything but the stereotypical porn guy and bimbo.

All Access: The Making of Not a Romance lasts about twenty six minutes. As usual with Wicked’s behind the scenes featurettes, you get to see plenty of the scenes being shot as well as the stars between shoots. It’s a very nice featurette if you want to learn about the making of the movie or see the performers as real people. It’s nicely done, and a very nice extra.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, lesbian, spanking, and anal

Condoms Usage: 100%

Raincoat Factor: Medium

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of Wicked’s DVDs can be found online for between $15 and $30 with many stores offering them for around $21. Although this is a very well done DVD, I’d suggest renting this one first. It’s well acted and scripted, but the subject matter isn’t something that I think will cause many viewings for most people. The technical aspects are very nicely done and there is some nice effort put into the extras to make this a very nice DVD overall.

Note to Wicked: A few more chapter breaks would be very nice.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

Other reviews by Astroknight