No Man's Land 39 Review

Reviewed by Narcolepsy  on  7/5/2004

Okay so, I don't think that I'm making any huge revelations when I say that the most recen volumes of this legendary series have just been flat out bad. Sexually, schematically (i think that's a word) and whateverelsically. And while certainly at times in this one the sex could be better, when it boils down to it, this movie is best described as "REALLY REALLY COOL".

You have Ren Savant at the helm of this one, and of course he likes doing the really odd straight forward (if thats possible) features, so this one is appropriately called, The Nightmare Edition, and what you basically have in every scene is the exhibition of certain phobias.

The first phobia is Sequiphobia, which is apparently the fear of being chased and we have 2 performers who are unknown to me, Anita Dark and Sandra Shine. Sandra chases Anita around town, literally! Just chasing her through the streets with no one around. (And if you're a heterosexual male or a gay woman you're wondering why the hell Sandra is running away) Anyway she finally catches up to her prey behind a house and the two go at it! YEAH SOME SEX! Sandra has a nice ass! She goes down on a sanding Anita for a nice long while, with Anita looking down on her. The sexual highlight here is when Anita returns the favor, from behind to Sandra, showing off that excellent ass. The scene ends with Sandra working over Anita to orgasm, very well done and afterwards they both go out on the streets chasing new game, as they begin chasing a very very redheaded Kylie Ireland.

"ODONTOPHOBIA". Fear of big chested dentists? Psycho chick Julie Night sits alone in a warehouse (looks like) and just starts screaming (because she's insane) and I'm not looking forward to the rest of this one. You get some shots of her running horugh this place scared to death wih apparenly nothing chasing her until finally she finds a guerney and decides it looks like a nice place to sit down. . . (i have no comment on that). Enter Dr. Scott! Avy Scott who I absolutely adore for eating the soul out of Belladonna's pussy in Evil Pink is Julie's dentist and she threatens her patients mouth with a smorgasboard (yes a smorgasboard) of tools which are basically electric screw drillers. Finally Julie gives her something else to look at as she disrobes. The sexual highlight here is the brief seconds during which Avy sits on Julie's face, she never gives Julie the once over she gave Bella but its still pretty good, Avy has an incredible looking pussy and Julie's isnt bad either. Little ass play for Julie ass to mouth with Avy's mouth on the recieving end and the scene ends with Avy remembering what she went to dental school for and returns her devices of torture to Julie's mouth. (Julie looks like a rabbit)

"AQUAPHOBIA". Fear of being saved from drowning by a really really hot woman. Dominica Leoni (isnt she married to that dude who used to be on the X-Files?) is drowning naked! Never fear Kimberly Kane is here to save her ans she plays the full route, she even carries her out of the pool. Little mouth to mouth (okay the 'mouth to mouth' is the sexiest thing so far in this movie) and Dominica is A okay. There is a lot of pussy eating and kissing in this one (yayyyy) and everybody cums, how can you not like it? Kimberly has a very lip heavy pussy (looks like Alana Evans') and its cute, great scene best of the movie so far.

"AGORAGYMNOPHOBIA". What?!!! Apparently its the fear of being really naked in really public places, and its afflicting Keiko now. Keiko is a really really small really really pale looking girl who I've never seen before, but from the get-go of this loony scene I just feel sorry for her. Watching her run through town completely naked dodging cars and everything is absolutely hilarious though. Eventually she finds herself among a group of people which includes the 2 ring leaders of this scene, Kylie Ireland (pretty damn good lez performer) and Aria (Britney Foster's sidekick, who looks like Rogue from the Xmen). They walk Keiko into a shipping warehouse where Bridgette Monroe (who is very very weird) and Lauren Phoenix (who i know from a really hot scene with Jessica Darlin in a Cherry Rain movie) await. This scene is basically a "VIOLATION OF. . ." type of thing for the most part. Aria doggy fucks Keiko almost immediately. There is some really cool stuff in this scene, both Kylie and Aria wield the strap ons, Aria even fucks Kylie while Keiko rides her, some good stuff; Bridgette fucks herself up the ass with a toy and cums very hard (legs shaking and everything) Keiko fucks Aria's ass with a toy only to recieve a facial (which she looks genuinely afraid to take of that water fountain that Aria must have eaten when she was young (this woman squirts crazy), Lauren fucks Kylie's ass with a toy until she cums and Keiko does the same to Lauren. . . The absolute highlight of this madness is when Aria cocks up a leg and absolutely drenches Lauren's face and tongue and everything, TWICE! The greatest female facial I've ever seen and its a helluva lot better than watching some dude cum, (dont need that in my life). The scene ends with Aria and Kylie walking Keiko back out into the night's street confused and stranded yet again.

"SCELEROPHOBIA". The fear of someone breaking into your house Laura Monroe and Anita Dark again! Laura tries to get to sleep but she can't because she's having visions of Anita under a light (we should all be so lucky) After 'terrorizing' Laura for awhile Anita jumps into bed with her and goes down on her pussy. (Laura doesn't do much for me but she has an excellent looking pussy). This scene goes pretty quickly and eventually the dreadedly awful double headed dildo rears its ugly head (has anyone ever seen this thing used in a hot way?), its okay, the star here is really the pretty girl action.

And thats the movie. Besides that movie we have the usual course of Video Team features besides with the exception of the always hot photo shoot (probably because the cover is just a pretty girl shot from the first scene (the cover is very very cute). The highlight on the BTS feature is that is was shot primarily in Kylie Ireland's house as were the first and last scenes apparently. And Kylie's pets are cool (her dog looks like a sheep). (Dear Jewel Denyle)House pets on the BTS are cool (really really creepy sounding Euro photogs are not) ("YEAS YEAS NOW SHOW ME YOUR ARSE, YEAS YEAS AND NOW I WILL KILL YOU!"). Okay thats it, pretty good movie, beautiful women, I'm not complaining, Flick does everyone's makeup, everyone's hot check it out.