Naked Muscles Review

Naked Muscles

Cast: Thor, J.D. Amos, Ed Dinakos, Chet O'Roark, Mark Bradshaw, Billy Herrington, Franco Corelli, Carl Hardwick.

Director: Rip Colt

Release date: 12/15/01 (box), ©2002 (opening statement)

Length: 106 min. (Box claims 120 min., which is correct only if it includes the preview running times.)

Extras: Previews for Legendary Bodies and The Minute Man Series.

Audio/visual quality: As usual, Colt excels at the technical and artistic aspects. This is some of the prettiest stuff around. Most of the footage appears to be fairly recent and shot on video, except for the Ed Dinakos and Mark Bradshaw scenes (very clean film prints). The ratio of full-body and close-up shots is pleasing. There is no location audio—the soundtrack is a playful mix of rock, jazz, and even classical themes.

Highlights:

Wet Thor is a blond, stoic, massively muscled man with Batman and Tweety Bird butt tattoos. He emerges from the pool in a clingy beige thong, showers, stir fries his dinner, exercises, practices poses, and goes to bed. Thor pops on his abs after brief self-stimulation. Time: 12:22. Rating: 3.5 stars.

Heating Oil J.D. Amos massages himself with baby oil, slips his hands into his red briefs, and gradually strips to reveal an uncut cock and great glutes. He gets nicely sweaty in the sunlit garden. After a few stretches, J.D. climaxes while reclining on a towel. Time: 13:42. Rating: 4 stars.

Working It Off Ed Dinakos heads outside to use his row machine and dig in the garden. His date calls to cancel, so he rends his shorts in frustration. He stands under a tree and "reseeds" a patch of nearby grass. Ed's legs are nearly as thick as that tree trunk! Time: 12:04. Rating: 4 stars.

After the Workout Chet O'Roark sheds his construction garb in his home gym. He wears a jock strap while performing a variety of exercises. It comes off, of course, and Chet's pre-ejaculate and orgasm are very attractive. I also like his beard and his body type—he's not as thickly built as the others. Time: 11:30. Rating: 4.5 stars.

Sunbeam Mark Bradshaw, all blond and bronzed, peels out of his wet suit to reveal striations in his musculature and wood in his willy. He spies on a hunky neighbor, settles into his deck chair, and wanks to a happy climax. (This scene also appears in Waterbucks.) Time: 11:59. Rating: 4.5 stars.

Recharged Billy Herrington casually strips out of his tool belt, pulls aside a white g-string, and rubs his pucker. He humps a lounge chair and milks cum onto his belly. Billy then dresses in leather fetishwear—I don't care for that look, but he plays to the camera nicely. Time: 12:59. Rating: 3.5 stars.

On His Own Franco Corelli jogs on a beautifully misty day. Afterwards, he enjoys his own company, massaging his pecs, his feet, and his bulge. There are lovely shots of his reflection in a koi pond as he showers. He strokes the graceful upward curve of his cock to an unhurried climax. Time: 16:58. Rating: 4.5 stars.

A Workout in the Sun Carl Hardwick perspires profusely while doing his curls and flyes. He removes his white thong, applies oil, floats in a pool, and releases a stream onto his stomach. I prefer his look when he's hairy (like in Minute Man Series 16), but eh, that's just me. His vascularity is awesome here, for those of you who appreciate that. Time: 14:07. Rating: 4 stars.

Thumbs up: These bodybuilders are HUGE. Boy, if you like that, you are going to love this! And as a former bodybuilder myself (recreational, not competitive), I find it fun to check their form as they exercise and flex.

Thumbs down: These bodybuilders are HUGE. So much so, that their wee-wees seem smaller in comparison. Sorry, that caught me off-guard, and it just doesn't look quite proportionate. Maybe I'd get used to it in time.

Themes: Masturbation (primary theme), outdoor setting (major theme), tease, undressing (major theme), voyeurism, fetishwear, bodybuilder physiques (primary theme).

Condom use: None (n/a).

Juice-o-meter: Medium.

Final analysis: The price on this collection is definitely right, if you appreciate massively built men entertaining themselves. I personally prefer the overall look of Colt's Waterbucks—if you can get only one, that's the one I suggest. But Naked Muscles puts even more emphasis on the extreme physiques and is good in its own way.