My Horny Valentine Review

Reviewed by The Pocketcomb Pimp  on  2/10/2005

My Horny Valentine

Running Time: 120 Min est.

Production Date: March 1997

The Pocketcomb Premise

How many of you remember the 1st X rated title you ever saw? I do, it was a movie called Furburgers. It starred Aim’s Glory Girl, Sharon Mitchell and Keisha. I also recall it said something about a special appearance from Taja Rae. The girls were dressed in mock Hooters outfits, and the lovin was strong.

I knew the title was older when I chose it, but the box looked good. The next time I went back to that store, I asked the guy behind the counter to “Pick me a winner” He came back with “My Horny Valentine”. When I asked him if it was really good, he showed me article in Playboy and Hustler calling it a true classic.

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Laura Palmer

I never watched the show, but I could only assume that she favors the character of the same name in Twin Peaks. This was a bad time in porn. For some reasons half the scene in this title were with a condom, but that was one of the many trademark, like the bad music that outweighed the dialogue in this scene.

Comon for early 90’s, but below average scene for today’s standards.

Female Looks 7/10 Sex Rating 6/10

Morgan Fairlane

This girl always looks like a low rent, fuck for cigarettes, whore and I always loved her for it. This also was a condom scene, but the bonus comes in the fact that Jake “Jumbo Dick” Steed seasoned her ass with all his girth.

Slight improvement in heat, but no Hall Of Famer.

Female Looks 8/10 Sex Rating 8/10

Girl Girl scene with Christi Lake, Stacy Valentine

Maya Reign

Maya Reign (Chavez) Cute Face, Tight Body, short on breast and backside. That brings back painful memories of 90’s porn.

Female Looks 7/10 Sex Rating 6/10

Jacklyn Lick

J. Lick made a respectable name for herself in the 90’s. She was never a blip on my radar, but WHOA! I can’t believe I missed her body. Not the prettiest girl, or the best ass, but damn the front end was flawless.

Female Looks 8/10 Sex Rating 8/10

Maya & Christi

I had it bad for Christi Lake in the early 90’s. Her Fan Fuxxx series will never be duplicated. How would you feel about today’s stars calling you up, thanking you for your fan letter, and asking you if you want to take a poke at their pooper. . It will never happen, but if it does, Kami, Trina and Barbara…. HOLLA!

Female Looks 8/10 Sex Rating 8/10

Stacy Valentine

I had a thing for Stacy also. Her breast were big for the day, but the way she carried herself, it’s like she was dangling a carrot in your of everyman’s libido. She was also a young performer for the time. The early 90’s was a different day, most girls were in their early 20’s, a teenager in the biz was rare.

Stacy brought a lot of heat to her work, and was the original “Desperate Housewife”. Rumor has it she was fucking every man in town before she divorced her husband moved to LA, and got paid to bust a nut.

Female Looks 9/10 Sex Rating 8/10

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This title has lost some of it’s luster, and many of the females in this title are long gone, but for old schooler, this is a good keepsake.

Stacy may be the original Dodger. Sure there were others before her, but for my money, Stacy was the 1st girl to take a lot of flack for not going black. Savanah was another front runner, but her inner demons cut her career short.

I will tip my hat to VCA. The extras were not there, but they were kind enough to break every scene down with 3-4 chapter stops, and that goes a long way to getting the action going.

Questions & Comments