Millionaire Matchmaker XXX: A Hardcore Parody Review

Reviewed by astroknight  on  9/9/2011

`

The Little Details

Running Time: 149 min.

Production Date: 7 / 26, 27 / 2010

Director: Ashlynn Brooke

Cast: Brooke Banner, India Summer, Jaelyn Fox, Sindee Jennings, Tanya Tate, Chad Alva, Dane Cross, and Herschel Savage

The Short Story

Initial Expectations: This one has a good cast and a fun premise. I'm also curious about Ashlynn Brooke behind the camera.

Initial Reaction: It's a nicely done adult adaption of reality TV with some decent attention to a few of the details, and shows some nice potential for Ashlynn Brooke behind the camera.

Who Should Watch It : Fans of reality TV and porn

Who Should Avoid It: Anybody wanting nastier sex

The Technical Stuff

Audio /Video Quality: The technical aspects are nicely done. The audio is clear and well balanced and I didn't notice any background noises. The video is presented in anamorphic widescreen and looks very nice. The action is well lit and clear with a good hand on the camera.

Music:

Menus: The main menu is fairly generic and gives a still from the cover along with a clip from the movie. The chapter menu nicely lets you choose a scene based on a small clip of each scene along with the name(s) of the girl(s) in it.

The Feature

Those familiar with cable reality TV are no doubt more than familiar behind the premise of this release. People with too much money who think they need to find love contact Patti (here played by India Summer) who with the help of her able bodied assistants try to find the right person for them. Of course, Patti has more than a few rules and she's none too happy if anybody breaks them.

After checking out what assistants Chad and Jaelyn have found her for millionaires, India decides to show them her gratitude. They grope their way around each other before the girls have Chad lean back against the desk so they can team up on him orally. India bends over on the desk to let them eat her from behind before Chad fucks her from behind as Jaelyn moves in front to get her box eaten. Jaelyn moves around to suck Chad clean before India gets in a suck and rides him reverse cowgirl style. She lets Jaelyn have a ride cowgirl style with a break for both girls to suck Chad a little more before watching and playing with Jaelyn's pussy as she lays back on the desk with Chad fucking her. Finally the girls share a nice pop between their faces with Jaelyn taking most of it in her mouth and swallowing some of it down. The girls share a kiss afterwards for India to get a better taste of the cum before they go back to work.

This is a decent opening scene. Chad delivers some good dick for the girls to work with, but I also would have liked a little more interaction between the girls during the fucking. It would have also been nice if there would have been a little more back and forth between the girls rather than India getting in a couple positions, Jaelyn getting in a couple positions, and then having a pop. This is far from a bad scene, but a few minor changes might have made it a lot hotter.

After initially turning old man Herschel away, hot dirty blonde Tanya comes back into the bathroom to find him laying back in a bubble bath drinking champagne. She lets him know they're going to do things her way, and after slamming her glass of bubbly strips down to a sexy bra and panties to smother him with her tits and sit on his face. Tanya chastises him for not being able to get hard while eating her, and has him get out so she can examine his old man cock and balls before dropping down to suck and stroke him. She gets her salivary glands going nicely as Herschel fucks her face, and makes sure to mix in a little more cocksucking as Herschel fucks her from behind over the tub. They move on with a reverse cowgirl ride and mix in a bit of sixty-nining before moving on with a traditional cowgirl ride. Herschel also lets Tanya have it missionary style before popping a small load on her tits.

This is a hot scene. Tanya and Herschel are hilarious playing off each other to start the scene with Tanya playing the rich bitch amazingly well. She does a great job laying down the law with Herschel, and I love the femdom aspect to start the scene out. There's good chemistry between them through the scene and the only thing that really slows it down is Herschel's weak pop to end it. This scene worked very well for me.

After chatting with Sindee in the backyard and enjoying a bit of wine, Dane takes Sindee inside to check out his house while struggling with his boner. After a bit of chatting with Dane trying not to freak out, Sindee moves in to give him a back rub on the bed before groping his cock through his pants, kissing her, and striping down. They sniff her panties before Sindee moves down to suck Dane's dick with a bit of stroking and some throat action mixed in. She mixes in a little more oral for him as she rides him reverse cowgirl style as well as in the traditional cowgirl. They also spoon before fucking doggie style with Sindee putting out some nice vocals through it all. They even get in a bit of missionary work with a bit of squirting before Dane spews his seed on Sindee's tits and face.

This is a hot scene. The opening is fun and amusing and there's nice chemistry between Dane and Sindee while they play up how opposite they are from each other. The sex is nicely captured with Dane working Sindee over nicely and showing he might know a little more about sex than he originally puts on, and as usual Sindee puts out a great fuck with nice vocals and plenty of energy. This is a very enjoyable scene.

When Dane comes back into the office to try getting back in after breaking the rules, Jaelyn finally gives in after he runs her thighs, talks about how much money he has, and gropes her tits. They kiss before Jaelyn drops down to suck and stroke his cock, and as soon as he's ready Dane bends her over the desk to take her from behind. Jaelyn lets him have a little more head as they fuck, working in missionary and a bit of spooning. Finally, Dane pulls out and pops on Jaelyn's thigh.

This is a pretty decent scene. Jaelyn looks half dead or mostly stoned through the lead-in, but there's no denying that she has a great ass and she does turn out a nice fuck with Dane. At the same time I was a little disappointed with the foreplay aspect of the sex as Dane's all about what he can do for her and them, but then just sits back to have her suck his cock rather than dropping down and eating her pussy and ass to show just how much he can do for them. This is a good scene, but had the potential to be even better.

Smoking hot and trashily tattooed Brooke heads into India's office claiming she wants to change her ways and find love before bending over to kiss India across her desk. They take their time kissing as their hands start to wander, and soon after Brooke makes her way to India's side of the desk India's kissing her way around Brooke's big boobies with some nice nibbles mixed in. Brooke strips her down and lays her back to kiss her way across India's nice and tight body, including a bit of leg worship, before moving down to eat her pussy. India lets Brooke lay back so she can play with her pussy and kiss her way around it before diving in orally. They move on to bump uglies before closing things with a little more passionate and fun kissing.

This is a pretty hot final scene. There's great kissing between the ladies, and the action moves at a nice pace. I'm guessing that those familiar with the original show this release is based on might have a clue who Brooke's character is, but for me she just looked like a hot chick who was addicted to bad ink. Despite that there's great chemistry between Brooke and India, and they keep the fairly limited action moving nicely with plenty of great kissing. This scene worked quite well for me.

Millionaire Matchmaker XXX is a decent porn parody. I'll admit to never watching the original show and being drawn in almost entirely by India Summer playing the lead role here. India does a very nice job in her role leading the movie, and Ashlynn Brooke does a nice job with a script that feels nicely true to reality TV. That isn't to say things are perfect on the story end as Jaelyn's attempts at acting were almost laughable, and she came off looking like she might have been a bit high through much of the movie. Thankfully the rest of the cast does a great job and the two matchmaker scenes work very well due to how well the cast deals with them. Sexually the movie works pretty good as well, although I would have liked the action to be a little more mixed up in the opening scene as well as in Dane and Jaelyn's scene. Millionaire Matchmaker XXX isn't going to set the porn world afire, but it does a very respectable job bringing the original series into the world of adult entertainment.

The Extra Stuff

The photo gallery lasts about a minute and a quarter. There's also cumshot recaps.

The Down -n- Dirty Sex Stuff

Themes: Straight, group, lesbian, rimming (female > female), and squirting

Raincoat Factor: Medium

Condom Usage: None

The Bottom Line:

Currently, many of Hardcore Parody's DVDs can be found online for between about $20 and $25. That seems a bit steep here. The movie's good but not great, and there's no real effort put into the extras to help out the overall DVD. The technical aspects are nicely done, but the overall DVD could have used a little more effort here.

Note to Hardcore Parody / Doghouse Digital: A parody like this seems like it would have had some fun outtakes. If those would have been included in the extras this would have been a nicer DVD.

If you have any questions or comments, please e-mail me .

Other reviews by Astroknight