Memoirs Of a Madame Review

Reviewed by T0MBOne  on  3/14/2009

Madame Shy (Shy Love) needs to find a replacement-a slut to fill the slot at her high class Hollywood escort service so she can retire with her lover to Hawaii. Along comes Trixie (Lindsey Meadows), an underrated two dollar whore with million dollar aspirations that seem to fit in Madame Love's plan.

The above synopsis of MEMOIRS OF A MADAME (2007, Sinsation) taken directly from the DVD back cover pretty much covers the lame plot of this feature. So, Trixie becomes a higher class whore and Madame Shy goes on vacation. Uh huh. MEMOIRS OF A MADAME also has some technical problems.

LINDSEY MEADOWS & MIKEY BUTDERS

The opening scene reveals Trixie (Lindsey) in one of her "two-dollar" encounters with Mikey, a client, who yells out stuff like "you love the word cunt, hooker?" There's plenty of talk during the actual sex positions and Lindsey plays the "yea, whatever" bored hooker on a bedroom set with a sort of red color cast, that attempts to give the room a sort of Red Light District look, a sort of hooker environ. Lindsey wears these outrageous black laced boots and fish nets, which are spread eagle, when Mikey "brings it home" with a cumshot on her tummy. An odd 13 minute scene with lousy lighting and a cheap set---! outa !!!!!

Mikey dresses and leaves so Tixie waxes poetic about being a hooker and practices saying "hey baby" in the mirror a bunch of times. The action shifts to Madame Shy's escort mansion, where Elliot (Scott Styles) brings Trixie so that Shy will groom her into a high-priced escort. But first, Elliot's driver (Brad Hardy) fucks one of the escorts Bambi (Vanessa Lane) in the other room.

VANESSA LANE & BRAD HARDY

In a cute blue dress, Vanessa gives Brad a blowjob on a willowy colored couch. Her dress and panties come off then Vanessa spreads her beautiful legs for Brad to suck her twat. The agile Ms. Lane puts her legs behind her head for a mishing ontop the couch, reveals her terrific ass during an extended cowgirl position, looks great standing and stretching in an upright doggie position. Brad drops his load on Vanessa's boobs then she sucks him for the finale of this 23 minute scene. Director Dee does a fine job framing the action on the couch but white light bounces around a bit much on Brad's pale skin and detracts from the visual quality of an otherwise solid scene---!! outa !!!!!

Trixie's interview with Madame Shy quickly concludes as the duo strip clothes off each other then suck Elliot's cock over on the couch.

SHY LOVE & LINDSEY MEADOWS & SCOTT STYLES

Scott fucks the girls in a series of straight sex positions while the other gal gets her twat tweaked or sucked. Lindsey receives a mishing while Scott pulls out so that Shy can suck his cock for P2M moments. He drops his load upon their two tongues touching then Shy and Lindsey cum kiss and cum share. It's a solid 20 minute scene with better lighting and spirited performances from all concerned---!!! outa !!!!!

Shy and Elliot fly off to Hawaii but call to check up on Trixie, now being called Madame Trixie by Bambi and Jinx.(Cassie Young) Trixie wants the girls to get to know one another better and commands that they undress her.

LINDSEY MEADOWS & VANESSA LANE & CASSIE YOUNG

The trio engage in some g/g/g fun as Lindsey and Vanessa take turns wearing a strap-on dildo. It's a solid 17 minute scene---!! outa !!!!!

In a hotel bedroom in Hawaii, Shy and Elliot discuss whether Trixie will work out or not.

SHY LOVE & SCOTT STYLES

To the sounds of light blues guitar music, Scott lightly tongues Shy's twat then sucks her for a good while. Shy gives him a blowjob and scrotum suck then Scott mishes Shy with her legs in the air, a toe or two in Scott's mouth. More mish, doggie with Shy's wrist held behind her. This 25 minute scene ends with a series of anal sex positions, which leads to a weak cumshot on Shy's ass cheek. Good chemistry between the performers, Dee frames the shots well and allows for more foreplay (9 minutes or so) in the early moments, weak finale---!! 1/2 outa !!!!!

And that's it.

A 13 minute Bonus Scene from 20 YEAR OLD VIRGIN finds Lindsey Meadows in more girl/girl action. It's okay (!! outa !!!!!) but nothing spectacular. The Backstage feature is 29 minutes of behind the scenes where some of the footage of Lindsey and Vanessa looks better than the actual stuff shot for the opening scenes of the feature, which is not a good thing. There's a 16 minute Photo Gallery that takes its time plus trailers for 20 YEAR OLD VIRGIN, BOOKIE NIGHTS, TRU LIES, MY SPACE, LOOK WHO'S WATCHING and MILF'S NIGHT OUT.

MEMOIRS OF A MADAME (2007, Sinsation Pictures) is really hampered by the horrible opening scene followed by another scene with lighting problems that is just an excuse to pad the length of the feature. Then, the whole hooker thing just peters out with Shy's departure from the escort service, which leaves the middle section of this feature, her threeway encounter with Trixie and Elliot, as the bright spot.

Awhile back, I saw a Mike Quasar feature also called MEMOIRS OF A MADAM(E) (1999, Metro) and I can remember at least some anticipation as to whether the interviewer, Inari Vachs, would succumb to the world of that madame for the finale. This new MEMOIRS OF A MADAME ends on a dull note as Madame Shy and beau skip town and leave the business to Madame Trixie. Yawn---! 1/2 outa !!!!!