Meat Pushin in the Seat Cushion Review

Review: Meat Pushin in the Seat Cushion

by T.J. Longprong

From the annals (or anals, as it were) of EvolutionErotica and the masturbatory mind of Tom Byron comes a DVD whose title leaves little to the imagination: Meat Pushin in the Seat Cushion.
Although the director may not be anointed “Lord” Byron just yet, his latest offering is a heterosexual’s delight: Hot women who suck cock abandon, welcome cum facials and take this-and-that in the ass. The DVD is a keeper, and should – despite its lack of storyline and substance -- eventually take its place among another anal/facial classics.
If nothing else, the presence of Taylor Rain alone bumps this one toward the head of the class. This time, the lanky brunette has plenty of hungry company, all of whom have impossibly generous assholes. And from a technical standpoint, we’re treated to Byron’s crisp and clean cinematography (score an assist to chameleon Guy Capo.)
The production’s spotlighted babes total five: Olivia O’Lovely, “Have You Been” Nadia Nyce, Victoria, peerless Ms. Rain and Alaura Eden, the last of whom actually starts Meat Pushin’s bumping and grinding.

SEGMENT 1: Starring Alaura Eden & Benjamin Bratt.
We first see the garden of Eden slowly climbing a staircase -- and it could be said her ascension is a bit on the leisurely and lengthy side. On the plus side, there is no energy shortage here: a digestible blend of slow-mo shots and a robust full body. Eden eventually finds her way to the bedroom where, lo and behold, a horny gentleman is waiting on the bed! (I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.) The name is Bratt, Benjamin Bratt.
In the early going it’s obvious that Eden enjoys sword-swallowing; she’ll lick and suck the lucky man’s shaft with subtle pleasure. It’s just as evident that she likes playing “Hide the fingers” with her lubricated anus, at least until Bratt administers a much-deserved anal pounding. (Perhaps he should change his name to Jack Hammer.) And with her plump backside and fishnet stockings, who can blame the anxious ramrod?
When Bratt is ready to burst, he coats Eden’s tongue with ample amounts of what appears to be cake frosting. All throughout, the images are clear and vivid. To say Byron knows camera angles is to say the Pentagon is huge (well, you don’t say). Scene One is apt to raise the temperature of your home a few degrees, so grab a cold one – if you still have a hand free.

SEGMENT TWO: Nadia Nyce & Joey Ray.
Of all the girls’ introductory shots, Nyce’s are, well, nicest. That’s because we get to slowly observe the gap-toothed, auburn beauty’s distinct features. Boasting a smile that lights up the room (as if Byron needed help in that department) and doe-like eyes, Nyce might as well be wearing a sign that reads “Fuck me now.” With the willing and able J.R. on board, however, she needn’t advertise.
Stretching her tight-as-a-drum, spaghetti-limbed body across the couch, Nyce proves she prefer ass-licking to an ass-kicking. After some efficient rimming and sucking, she climbs aboard Ray, who has a tad of trouble (albeit briefly) keeping his considerable plug in the hole. Once the sprightly Nyce starts bouncing like a pogo stick, however, there’s some old-fashioned intercourse to behold. In this particular sequence, the lighting is less consistent (too many bulbs in the upper-background) and the camerawork, perhaps intentionally, leans on the agitated side.
Not to matter. Just when you wonder if Nyce’s career has deflated her tits, the sex kitten blows your mind (among other things, I suspect) with a sloppy facial. As Ray gushes all over, Nyce remains remarkably disciplined and professional: She deserves to be considered a pro just for stuffing a man’s shaft and balls into her mouth at once. Final note to Ms. Nyce: If you were me, you wouldn’t fill that gap between your front teeth. Let a man try to fill it for ya.

SEGMENT THREE: Olivia O’Lovely & Andrew Rivera.
As this scene unspools, director Byron is on top of things – not unlike his co-stars. The opening frames of Rivera eating Olivia’s ass like a pork roast are alone worthy of praise. Rivera licks and pokes her brown penny with no trepidation, buries his nose in it, and the woman’s face reflects satisfaction.
Alas, Byron and crew keep torturing us with additional footage: O’Lovely, a sinful hybrid of actresses Marisa Tomei and Salma Hayek, doesn’t hesitate to prove she can suck cock like a champ. With suction sounds so appealing they’d make any straight man wish ears happy. Special kudos to Rivera for not cumming immediately; most guys would enjaculate the moment O’Lovely split her lips.
The filmmaker puts the lady’s black boots – a cool, sharp accessorie – on rightful display throughout the naked gymnastics. And the lens is, again, observant without being obtrusive.
Minor quibbles about the performers: It could be argued that O’Lovely has a bit too much junk in her trunk, and that Rivera’s final blast was less than riveting. In a word, disappointing. But those complaints are small potatoes, especially with the final two segments on deck.

SEGMENT FOUR: Victoria & J-Monty.
Byron’s decision to introduce himself, replete with sharp black-and-white film, to J-Monty is as unique as it is welcome. His beefy (in more ways than one) male star is rightfully confident and bold, ready for action in the form of Germany’s Victoria.
There’s a great moment, well-conceived in its simplicity, when our girl first pulls down J-Monty’s shorts: We see his long prong in its natural glory, flopping out like a diving board. And the initial glimpse of Victoria orally saluting this brown soldier warmed the cockles of my hard-on. The skinny lady deserves an ‘A’ for effort, proceeding to suck like the Little Immigrant That Could. (One suspects her jaws got tired fast.)
It’s a terrific turn-on whenever J-Monty utters commands (“Open your mouth”), and when he bangs Queen V from behind while pulling her hair. The same goes for the piledrive fuck, though I, for one, could’ve done without the close-up of the man’s ass.
Always great to see another hot girl with small, natural breasts. And the striking contrast of Victoria’s milky-white skin with J-Monty’s dark temple is visually brilliant.
Major props to the motley crew for providing extra light during the climax, which predictably ends in a facial and suck-off.
So what is Victoria’s secret? After all she’s exposed here, I can’t imagine she has ANYTHING to hide.

SEGMENT FIVE: Taylor Rain & Dez.
If I had to guess, I’d think the name Dez translates as “lucky bastard”. After all, what else could you call a man who gets to spend quality screen time with Ms. Rain? She is, far as I’m concerned, the industry’s Flavor of the Year.
Let’s take inventory on this scrumptious godsend: Rain has that elusive star quality, thanks to a face that is so deceptively sinful you never want her films to end. If you can guide your sight away from the girl’s saucer eyes and illegal lips, you’ll notice her shapely Praying Mantis legs that can wrap around any guy with a pulse. Even her feet, adorned with silver fuck-me pumps, are beyond sexy. Last but not least, Rain has an ass like a wild animal and a mouth that could suck the red ring off a bowling pin. But that’s getting ahead of ourselves.
First things first, and that would mean Rain (to borrow lyrics from Bruce Springsteen) going down, down, down. I almost stood up and applauded when she sucked Dez down to his base and he grabbed her long hair, putting it in a “bun” on top of her head.
Given Rain’s intense eyes and bulging neck veins, it’s crystal clear that she not only loves her work – but takes it seriously when necessary. The upshot for viewers: Major turn-on.
Same goes for her director: Throughout the in-depth shoot, Byron surveys the scenery with aplomb and a sense of humor: occasionally panning to random objects, zooming on his stars’ facial expressions, even asking the performers a question then capturing their asides. Best of the bunch: When Rain gestures that one of her favorite hobbies is smoking pot. (Good things she finds various ways to relax; otherwise this wild child would fuck every guy until he exploded and stopped breathing.)
When Dez turns the tables on his lady, he dutifully licks her like an ice-cream cone, thus carrying the torch for every guy who desires to eat Taylor in half. At one point, Dez smiles big and laughs straight at the camera – and who can blame him for being so happy? Rain, at times, appears inhuman: She can slide objects in her asshole with less difficulty than it takes me to slide my debit card into an ATM.
And to the director’s credit, we get to see plenty of the starlet’s inviting orifices. Byron does well to balance the anal trespassing with the oral intrusions, right down to a delicious facial and suckfest. (Rain’s potential motto: She loves to dry, and it shows.)
The ONLY disappointment this babe evokes is the fact she’s on your TV screen and not in your lap.
Let there be no doubt: Even if I lived in soaked Seattle, I’d pray for more Rain.

- T.J. Longprong