Lost John Holmes Films: Doctor I'm Coming & Balls In Action, The Review

Distributor: Hustler Edition Details: Standard DVD Release Specs: Also known as: The Lost John Holmes Films: Doctor I'm Coming and Balls in Action Video Format: NTSC Format: DVD Regional Code (for DVD/Blu-ray): 0 (All) Number of discs: 2

Larry Flynt stated in a press release that he had found two previously unreleased films when going through an anonymous director's private erotica stash, Balls in Action and Doctor I'm Coming. Flynt claimed in his announcement that the films were the first feature films that John Holmes starred in. Supposedly the anonymous director of the two films was a pilot who made a few adult films, that they were made in 1968, and have never been released. While both films appear to have been made around the beginning of feature adult films, Doctor I'm Coming appears to have received some sort of release in 1970, making it previously released.

Neither film is overly good, nor overly hardcore consisting of more softcore footage than hardcore footage in both films. Neither film has an overly developed story either. The quality of the actual films aside, Hustler has destroyed this release by releasing butchered versions of both titles on this release. Doctor I'm Coming appears to have footage missing from the film. Large portions of the audio have been removed, some now just have generic music where dialog used to be and other portions have horrible dubbing replacing the dialog that used to be there. Balls in Action doesn't appear to have any missing footage, but like Doctor I'm Coming, large amounts of the audio appear to have been stripped from the title with generic music — no dubbing in this one — now making up most of the film.

Both Doctor I'm Coming and Balls in Action are on the first disc. The only extra that Hustler has included is the compilation The Best of John Holmes Volume 1, which is the second disc.

Overall, this release is not very easy to recommend. Neither film is very good on a sexual level, plot level, or technical level. And Hustler removing most of the audio, and possibly portions of the actual film for Doctor I'm Coming, make this release even less desirable. You can jump to the review of Balls in Action or Doctor I'm Coming or just keep reading to read them all.

Balls in Action is an early hardcore adult feature film that never seems to know what it is trying to be. It is clearly made on the cusp of when softcore feature films were going out of fashion and hardcore feature films were coming in. The threadbare story exists to move the sex scenes from one to another only. Noah “Balls in Action” Mammoth (John Holmes) is a soccer player, who has a sexual encounter with Tina (Jane Tsentas), a fan, before having two female reporters, Mae North (Ann Perry) and Divine (Annette Michael), fighting for his story and his body. There is no real story arc present here. One event happens after another and nothing is really being told at all. If the sex scenes were stripped from the film there would be nothing left.

Which brings us to the problematic sex scenes. There are six sex scenes in total in the film, of which Holmes is in five of them. Four of the six sex scenes are softcore and interestingly enough Holmes, who appears to be the star of the film, doesn't actually have a complete sex scene nor does he apparently ever cum. The only actor who does that is Jim, playing the janitor, who has the sixth and only full blown sex scene. Only one actress (Annette Michael) partakes in any hardcore activity within the film with some oral and hand action with Holmes then a full sex scene with Jim.

Holmes finale scene just kind of disappears as well. Even though it is a softcore scene it seems to become forgotten about as the hardcore action kicks in with the scene it is interlaced with and one never gets a real sense of completion to it. Nor the film itself for that matter. The end is just stuck on, without even giving the film a real ending.

The film is riddled with technical issues. The camera goes in and out of focus. Sometimes apparently intentionally other times, it looks like not so intentionally. The editing is choppy and the softcore scenes are riddled with gynecological closeups.

All in all, Balls in Action feels more like a series of loops featuring John Holmes than an actual feature film. Most of the sex is softcore and often poorly shot softcore at that. Outside of idle curiosity, Balls in Action doesn't have much to offer the viewer.

Hustler has done a poor job with this release. Balls in Action is presented in the full screen aspect ratio of 1.33:1. The transfer is decent sporting good colors. Fine detail appears to be lost in the image. The image contains grain, jumps, artifacts, and print damage.

Balls in Action is presented with an English Dolby Digital 2.0 monaural track. The audio is where the problems show up for this film. The audio can be hard to hear at points making the dialog that is present hard to hear. Milliseconds of dialog appear to be clipped. A good percentage of the film consists only of generic music, which appears to have been done by Hustler by stripping large portions of the original dialog and adding generic music in its place. It is unknown if any dialog outside of what is clipped is missing. As of the time of printing, Hustler had not responded as to why they may have altered the audio significantly.

Hustler hasn't included any film specific extras on the release.

Doctor I'm Coming has clearly come from the period where the adult film industry was transitioning from softcore simulated sex features to hardcore features, but prior to when any real semblance of plot was being developed for adult feature film. The plot, as it goes, is Dr. Peter Phallic (John Holmes) runs an office, with assistants Dr. Oral Ensertion (Chuck Arce) and Dr. Hardy Stiff (Dan Ivans), that does work for the government and science by helping patients work out sexual issues and hang-ups through “therapy.” Obviously the minute plot exists solely to introduce the sex scenes. Throughout half the film is also a small comedic subplot with Nurse Minnie Cummings (Anna Meers) ineffectively trying to get laid.

The second half of the film tosses away any semblance of plot for one of the weirdest orgies put to film with the entire cast which involves bananas, banana peels, and melted chocolate but actually very little sex (essentially only blow jobs). Which brings us to one of the major problems with the film, the sex scenes. Whether the issue lies with the director and editor not knowing what to do or whether originally Doctor I'm Coming was planned as a softcore comedy and was at some point in development changed to a hardcore venture is not clear. But what is here isn't overly erotic.

There are five sex scenes in all and only one of them, the first one oddly enough, is a full blown sex scene. The second scene is almost softcore in nature but contains a cumshot. This scene may have been edited from its original form though. The third scene is incredibly poorly shot and is almost softcore in nature. The fourth scene is entirely softcore. Then a hardcore shot, mixed with some softcore shots just before the climactic final scene, which doesn't have much hardcore elements to it, and spends most of its time with banana peels being rubbed over bodies.

The film has additional problems beyond the weak plot and the poorly done sex scenes. The camera movement is jerky and the camera tends not to move very much making the entire film come across as amateurish. While Doctor I'm Coming may hold some interest as one of the earliest forays of adult feature films available, it doesn't hold up well and will leave most viewers wanting far more.

Hustler has done a poor job with the presentation of this film. Doctor I'm Coming is presented in the full screen aspect ratio of approximately 1.33:1. There is grain, print damage, artifacts, and a lack of definition present in the transfer. The transfer isn't horrible. Viewers used to your standard adult film companies treatment of classics will find the transfer to be very good. Viewers used to Vinegar Syndrome's output will find the transfer to be slightly disappointing. The color look beautiful. However the second sex scene in the film appears to have been edited to almost non-existence. I can't be sure if this is just due to poor editing or whether there was originally more to the scene.

Doctor I'm Coming is presented with an English Dolby Digital 2.0 monaural track, which is the major issue of the presentation. The track has a hum and sounds tinny. The biggest issue is that much of the audio is missing. For an unknown reason — possibly the original master had unlicensed music or was damaged beyond salvation — Hustler has removed most of the audio for the film and replaced with generic music. This includes a lot of the dialog in the film as well leaving large stretches with just music. Hustler has dubbed in some lines by voice actors that sound nothing like the original cast, but much is left with watching mouths move and nothing coming out of them. As of the time of publication Hustler had not responded regarding the film being cut and the altered audio track.

Hustler hasn't included any film specific extras on this release.

The Lost John Holmes Films contains two early John Holmes features, Balls in Action and Doctor I'm Coming. This release is not very easy to recommend. Neither film is very good on a sexual level, plot level, or technical level. And Hustler removing most of the audio, and possibly portions of the actual film for Doctor I'm Coming, make this release even less desirable.

Past Reviews Interviews