Lex the Impaler (Evil Angel) Review

Reviewed by YogaGrrl  on  1/31/2002

Cast: April (aka April Flowers), Miko Lee, Darla Crane, Layla Jade, Jessie J and Sophie Evans; featuring Lexington Steele.

Director: Jules Jordan

Production date: 12/01/01 (box); 11/08/01 (feature)

Length: 139 min.

Extras: Full motion chapter indexing; fetish menu; cast lists for each scene; 38-min. featurette with additional sex footage, video from the photo shoot and outtakes; photo gallery with 45 high quality images; Jules Jordan biography.

Audio/visual quality: Video is clear, bright and sharply focused. The sets are streamlined, modern and aesthetically hip; backgrounds include eye-pleasing splashes of color, especially reds, blues and yellows. Fun and unusual props are employed, including a transparent chair. Emphasis is on medium and close-up shots; a very small amount of enhanced motion (slo mo) has been judiciously applied. The cameraman's shadow makes infrequent appearances, but because the cameraman is a peripheral participant in the scenes (occasionally contributing comments, questions or suggestions), this is less bothersome than it would be in a couples' feature. There are just a few lens specks (lube splatters?), which I didn't notice until the second viewing. No music or dubbing is present. Some of the audio would have benefitted from better microphone placement. Background noises (muffled conversations, a ringing phone, etc.) occasionally intrude.

It appears that only a single handheld camera is used throughout the feature. In a recent review of another title, I complained of nausea caused by handheld camera motion. Fortunately, Lex the Impaler does not have that effect on me. There is quite a lot of motion, but it varies in both angle and pacing (i.e., it's not the slow, rolling side-to-side pans that induce the boat-on-the-ocean effect). Also, the focus remains solid during the pans and zooms, which helps a lot.

Disc problems: Despite multiple attempts, I am unable to exit the photo gallery without ejecting the disc. This problem occurs on an Apple DVD Player (version 2.1.1); with other players, it may or may not be an issue.

Why I chose this DVD: I had never seen a gonzo title before, and I wanted to expand my horizons.

First impression: It's a lot sexier than I imagined it would be, and surprisingly well-produced.

Scene highlights: The opening credits immediately establish Jules Jordan's appreciation of the female form. His camera closely follows April's topless stroll near an elegant swimming pool. She definitely knows how to work her cute little white outfit, which consists of itty-bitty hot pants and a mesh thong with stretchy over-the-shoulder spaghetti straps. I honestly can't think of a prettier young woman; she has beautifully symmetric natural breasts and sweet brown eyes. We see Jules' hand briefly enter the picture to squeeze one of her nicely rounded cheeks.

Meanwhile, Lexington Steele watches her teasing moves from a balcony and declares, "I think she should be impaled." Fortunately, he's only joking. Lex doesn't wield his imposing instrument for evil purposes; instead, he often lets the women control the depth and speed of penetration (don't worry--after warming up, they generally go deep and fast). He greets April with a kiss on the mouth, followed by kisses for her breasts and finally a few for her recently pierced pussy. Amazingly, April is able to take half his length into her mouth and all his length into her vagina (he wears a condom for this scene only). She starts with a ride in reverse cowgirl, and then stays connected to Lex during the switch to doggie. They each take turns moving, and April becomes so excited that she breaks out in goose bumps. Next they go to cowgirl, followed by a brief yet acrobatic grind in a standing position. April gives a second blow job to encourage Lex to ejaculate on her mouth.

In scene two, Miko Lee struts her stuff in a stately hallway. She's wearing wide fishnet stockings and a fabulous "horsetail" butt plug. (Can somebody please tell me where to find these types of accessories?) Miko runs her hands over Lex's blue jeans and quickly locates "something long, hard, big and black. It's just what I wanted!" To erase any doubts, she starts off with a blow job and then turns around and bends over. Lex carefully removes the plug, and they go to vaginal doggie, a standing embrace, reverse cowgirl and missionary. Miko persuades Lex that her ass needs some attention, too, and he cheerfully obliges in anal missionary, standing, doggie, more standing (gotta love those big strong arms) and reverse cowgirl. There's a quick cutaway (hopefully they're practicing good hygiene), and they return to vaginal missionary. The cum shot is rather extraordinary: it covers the whole right side of Miko's forehead and stripes her nose as she grins ear-to-ear.

Darla Crane has a shiny red bra and thong on her body and fun and games on her mind. Lex is innocently practicing pool in a sunny, retromodern rec room, but Darla spoils his shot by picking up the eight ball. Naturally this leads to a little discussion about black balls and cue sticks. After the blow job, she takes him on in cowgirl, followed by doggie on the pool table. While still in doggie, they change from vaginal to anal. Darla looks a little alarmed when Lex suddenly lifts her off the table and then sits down in a nearby chair, which shifts her into a reverse cowgirl position. She quickly adjusts, though, and even offers her ass to him in pile driver. There's a touch of ass-to-mouth, then it's back to pile driver to finish. It's hard to tell, but Lex might already be coming by the time he withdraws. He still has a few squirts left, though, for Darla's freckled face.

The box cover describes Layla Jade and Jessie J as "two English gutter mouthed whores," which is accurate if impolite. They are definitely strong and confident women, and their antics prove to be quite amusing. Scene four deposits Layla and Jessie at Lex's door. Layla has her map in hand, and they are looking for homes of the "stars." Lex is out, but Jules is happy to make them comfortable. Jessie admires a "sculpture" on the coffee table (which turns out to be a clear plastic butt plug). After some rimming, they take turns inserting and licking the plug. The camera shows us glimpses of pink through the plug, and Layla coaxes Jessie's "lil' shitter" to gape. At this point, Lex walks in, wearing a black tank emblazoned with the phrase "Well Hung." The women decide to test the veracity of this statement with a 2-on-1 blow job, followed by rides in cowgirl (Layla) and reverse cowgirl (Jessie). Jessie prefers her anal in doggie; Layla likes more variety and takes anal in missionary, reverse cowgirl and doggie. There's lots of cheerful dirty talk, spitting, spanking and completely voluntary ass-to-mouth. The cum ends up on Jessie's face and Layla's butt.

Not an easy scene to top, but for sheer heat, the best is last. Sophie Evans shows us how runway models walk as she flaunts a cherry red corset (which remains buckled throughout the scene) and matching double-strapped thong (which she soon ditches). She teases the camerman by straddling a balcony railing and rubbing herself sensuously. She then walks to the kitchen, where Lex's hands reach through a decorative door grate to massage her breasts. Soon Lex's cock also reaches through the grate to eagerly receive her blow job. She sits down in a glass chair, and he treats the gap between the chair back and seat like an open window of penetration. These performers are clearly in the "zone"--their transitions are so flawless that they almost look choreographed. In one uninterrupted sequence, Lex and Sophie stay joined from reverse cowgirl to standing to doggie to standing and back to reverse cowgirl. Lex gets so wound up during this scene that he's forced to slow down and pull out several times. After an unusual sideways lap sit, more standing and more doggie, she leads him to the living room. Another blow job and yet more doggie, and Lex just can't stand it anymore. Sophie turns around to catch his facial.

Thumbs up: I really like watching transitions between positions. In the couples' features I've viewed up 'til now, the camera almost always pans away while the performers switch to another configuration. Here, we see a little negotiating to find workable positions, and it feels more like "real" sex.

I also appreciate the "Isn't it fun to be a pervert?" attitude that pervades this movie. Jules Jordan clearly relishes his job. He interacts quite a bit with the performers early in the scenes, but then wisely pipes down as the sexual intensity picks up. Nothing is rushed; we get to savor every moment of naughtiness (only five scenes in more than two hours--I'll let you do the math).

Thumbs down: The extras lack in quantity (though not in quality). The cast lists for each scene are nice, but interview-style bios would've been even better. The audio during the photo shoot consists largely of posing directions; this might have been a good place to dub in behind-the-scenes commentary. The movie itself is quite generous in length, however, which helps compensate for any deficit in the extras.

YogaGrrl's motherly advice: It's surprisingly difficult to find solid information on the potential health risks of ass-to-mouth, or A2M. I did check with two on-line experts, both of whom expressed great concern about fecal bacteria causing oral infections. I still have a number of questions concerning the magnitude of the risk, whether enemas effectively reduce the risk and whether there's any less risk if you're sucking something that's been up your own butt (as opposed to someone else's). Click this link to learn more about rimming, A2M and sexually transmitted diseases; this link provides an alternative opinion.

My personal advice is to play it safe. You can simulate A2M by asking the receiver to keep his or her eyes closed. Remove the penis or toy from the anus and give it some quick rubs with antibacterial hand gel before placing it in the receiver's mouth. Because I was worried the gel might have an astringent taste, I recently tried licking a little off the back of my hand. It's not at all bad, and it sure beats a trip to the doctor! (Be aware, however, that antibacterial gel or baby wipes are completely ineffective against STDs that are viruses. Also, notice the label says "for external use only." Please use common sense.)

Themes: Straight, lesbian, three-way, interracial, big cock, teases, toys (butt plugs), oral, anal, rimming (female to female), ass-to-mouth, gapes, spanking, facials, fetish wear.

Juice-o-meter: High. Despite its slightly scary title, Lex the Impaler places a strong emphasis on female pleasure.

Final analysis: My only regret is that I didn't look into gonzo sooner. It's easy to see why many people feel Evil Angel is one of the best studios in the business.

Special thanks: To astroknight, reviewer extraordinaire, for allowing me to use his screenshots.


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