Isle of Men, The Review

The Details

• Title: The Isle of Men
• Studio: Sarava Production (Kristen Bjorn)
• Producer(s): Kristen Bjorn
• Director(s): Kristen Bjorn
• Videographer(s): Kristen Bjorn
• Editor(s): Kristen Bjorn
• Cast: Juan Jimenez (5.0+), Lazaro Carrera (4.5), Daniel Rivero (4.0), Arpad Miklos (5.0+), Mark Anthony (5.0+), Ivan Andros (5.0), Lucas Magalhaes (4.5), Tony Lazzari (4.5), Alexandros Aris (4.5), Christopher Collins (5.0), Eric Leneau (4.0), Mario De Lazarius (4.5), Jose Luis Vazquez (4.5), Luis Clemente (5.0), Pietro Rosselli (5.0+), Antonio Armani (5.0), Dan Dirk (4.5) & Ivan Cseska (5.0+) – The numbers in parentheses are my ratings of each of the cast members on a 0-to-5 scale. My very favorites are in bold text.
• Date of Production: 2001
• Running Time: 2:28 (h:mm) – Scene One, 5 chapters, 0:30; Scene Two, 5 chapters, 0:26; Scene Three (A), 2 chapters, 0:10; Scene Three (B), 3 chapters, 0:12; Scene Three (C), 2 chapters, 0:11; Scene Four, 5 chapters, 0:29; Scene Five, 5 chapters, 0:30 – The photo gallery, 0:04
• Menus & Chapters: The menu is a simple one: a main menu with 5 selections (the feature, scene selections, a photo gallery, a connection to Bjorn's website and contact information). The scene selection sub-menu is made up of six pages with five chapters each on the first five pages and two more on the sixth – a total of twenty-seven chapters. Each of the chapter boxes is an active video clip, making it easy find favorite segments (a pointless distinction as they are all favorites).
• Extras: As is the norm for Bjorn's DVDs, there are no extras other than a four-minute, automated photo gallery consisting of twenty-six photographs. Even the short director's commentary included with many of his recent DVDs is absent from this disc. However, if purchased through Bjorn's website, a 100-page, glossy, A4-format, soft-cover magazine is included, containing many beautiful photographs of cast members and the production with comments in five languages. The magazine may also be purchased separately (for $9 plus S&H).
• Packaging: The front cover is an R-rated photo of Mark Anthony, Ivan Andros & Lucas Magalhaes. The rear cover, a collage of eight more of the cast members, all sporting erections, proclaims the video to be 2 hours long and to have 13 hot men (there are actually 18 cast members and an extra 28 minutes of video on this Director's Cut DVD).

The Story

To quote the packaging: "There is a Caribbean Island where the world's hottest men come together again and again just for your enjoyment. This is one pleasure cruise you cannot pass up!" – Essentially, Arpad Miklos is taking an afternoon stroll along the streets and the beaches of a tropical paradise, cruising unsuccessfully the many hot men he meets in his search for sex. And he finds it again and again – some of the encounters real, some the product of his testosterone-fueled imagination. Finally he connects and we witness what has to be one of the most torrid encounters Bjorn has ever lensed.

1. Fish or Cut Bait (5.0 – Juan Jimenez, Lazaro Carrera & Daniel Rivero) — As the opening credits disappear, Rivero's boy (man) toy has been sent fishing for tricks. And, God! What a lure! On of scale of 0-to-5, Jimenez is a 20! He casts his massive rod, reeling in Carrera for a sizzling duo watched, and then joined by Rivero. A dozen cum shots later, I found myself too exhausted to continue and too aroused to stop.
2. Hawaiian Lei (5.0 – Mark Anthony, Ivan Andros & Lucas Magalhaes) — The handsome Anthony is sight seeing, snapping pictures as he passes masculine hunks, Magalhaes and Andros. They fall in behind him, following until they have a chance to pass, a pass acknowledged and accepted by Anthony. He follows them home, engaging Andros in a contest to see which of the two sex pigs can be best stuffed at both ends. Magalhaes, a sex pig in his own right, is master chef of this luau sex fest. And again, the proof is in the sauce and its serving.
3. Idle Thoughts (5.0 – Tony Lazzari & Alexandros Aris; then Christopher Collins, Eric Leneau & Mario De Lazarius) — Shot in three segments, this scene is Miklos imagining what he is missing: First, Aris feeds Lazzari his over-stuffed Greek sausage, then feasts between Lazzari's buns before stuffing him again. Second, an acrobat, De Lazarius, and his swimming friend, Leneau, exercise the jaws of their audience, the rugged Collins, who soon turns the tables, taking turns teaching them what muscle control is all about and demonstrating that it's the sauce that's finger-lickin' good! Finally, Miklos imagines the five together, reshuffled, an ever-changing smorgasbord of oral and anal delights.
4. Peddling Hard (4.5 – Jose Luis Vazquez, Luis Clemente & Pietro Rosselli) — As Vazquez watches from his balcony, two cyclists dodge a cat crossing the road, wrecking in the process. Inviting them into his home, Vazquez offers Rosselli and Clemente first aid; they, in turn, offer their cocks. What ensues is a classic triathalon as each rides his fellows, swimming in semen as all three race for the gold. Of special note here is the use of fingerless riding gloves as sex toys and Rosselli's worship of Vazquez's feet and toes.
5. Fleet's in Port (5.0+ – Arpad Miklos, Antonio Armani, Dan Dirk & Ivan Cseska) — Having given up, Miklos returns home, watching the world pass him by from his rooftop deck. As three Naval officers in dress whites pass beneath him, he makes one last desperate effort, tossing his door key at their feet. Success! The sexual tension crackles as Miklos, still fully clothed and on his knees, services the three servicemen's cocks, each in turn spewing its precious content upon his tee shirt. Then the servicemen return the favor, stripping Miklos and giving his 10-inch cock (not an exaggeration) the attention it so richly deserves. Miklos regains control as he and Cseska top Armani and Dirk. Bodies are shuffled: A fuck train with Miklos in Armani in Cseska sucking Dirk and shuffled again with Dirk sitting on Miklos while sucking Armani and being first tongued, then fingered and finally double-fucked by Cseska. The climax can only be described as something for which Richter might need new numbers and San Francisco would dread.

What I Liked — All of it .... Every minute! Every second! Every scene! Every man! Every face! Every body! Every cock (most uncut)! Every ass! Every encounter! Every cum shot! (And if there aren't hundreds it is only because my own couldn't be counted as part of the video!) The kissing, sucking, rimming & fucking! The fetish flourishes: gloves and feet. Jimenez, Miklos and Cseska – these men are gods cavorting in an Olympian, Caribbean paradise, captured in loving detail on video for us mere mortals to worship! — One of Bjorn's trademarks has been scenes with multiple cum shots. Unlike Cali-porn, where the formula is suck-suck-rim-fuck-cum, Bjorn's scenes build with crashing waves of intensity, each greater than the one preceding and each accompanied by buckets of semen erupting spontaneously onto bodies, into the air and straight into the camera lens. The intensity of the no-hands ejaculations while being fucked is amazing. And watching a hot man slurp up his own cum after he's freshly coated an ass or thigh or foot just adds fuel to my fire.

What I Disliked — Uh ... may I leave this one blank? About the only thing I can think of is that I wish there were more .... And I dislike that Bjorn's products are so few and far between; but, then, considering their intensity, I'm not sure I could survive them as daily fare.

DVD Quality — Video and audio quality are excellent; as are videography, lighting, direction and acting.

Overall Thoughts — In all areas save one, this video surpasses my previous all-time favorite, Bjorn's Thick As Thieves – the exception being Thieves' final love scene between Banfalvi and Kopazs, which I've never seen equaled. But then, this is not a love story; rather, it is a story of unbridled, passionate lust. And it succeeds on every level. Kristen Bjorn is indeed a master: he elevates pornography to fine art.

A Post Script — Antonio Armani is Kristen Bjorn's real life lover.

~ GaySatyr – 14 Feb 2002
gaysatyr@mindspring.com