I am baffled.
Inch Freaks is a movie about women who allegedly crave big cocks. Could
you sell a movie to heterosexual women where the focus is on some
female body part that the men in the movie are supposedly
crazy about? Maybe I am missing the point. All wilful misunderstanding
aside, maybe this does make sense in a market where some straight male
fans appear as interested in the dimensions of the male stars' genitals
as they are in the female stars with whom such productions are ostensibly
concerned. Who really are the Inch Freaks? As we'll soon see, this really
is an incredibly flimsy premise on which to base a new movie or series.
Did you ever hear a porn starlet seductively moan, "Oh, I love that small,
thin cock of yours inside me?"
Alaura Eden
Tall, dark haired Alaura, dressed simply in blue vest, jeans and heels,
casts sly sexy looks at the camera as she smokes a fag, one of those activities
that have drastically different meanings on each side of the Atlantic.
Now Alaura has an undeniably strong, individual look and can be an acquired
taste, without which this lengthy tease scene all about her may be too
much of a chore. I think she's a grown-up sexy woman and thus is pretty
appealing, and find it easy to enjoy her wiggling and crawling her way
around the house, slowly peeling off her clothes to reveal a curvaceous
body and superb ass. Yani Z's direction covers all angles as we see her
slowly prepare for the sex by backing up against a dildo stuck to a glass
shower screen, and then slipping into some sheer white stockings and lacy
lingerie. "Does that make you want to fuck me?" she breathes. Yes. That's
how simple the male mind is.
I must admit, however, that the "seductive" chat to the camera that she's
produced thus far seems more incongruous when delivered over the head
of the guy, Mark Wood, who's now sucking her tits and spanking her. It's
as if he wasn't there. Anyway, she pays attention soon enough, sucking
his cock in an interesting position where she's flat out on her tummy,
grabbing her heels as he slides into her mouth. Sadly the bogus comments
continue: "Oh God I'm so tight!" she announces, sliding on to his dick.
And so modest too! There is a nice shot of her ass as she rides, however,
before a brief toy interlude (a butt plug and anal balls make their way
in and out of her ass and into her mouth) prepares the way for slow but
steady anal sex.
Cowgirl anal is visually impressive, doggy anal hardly the deepest or
hardest but evidently enough to turn her on, both being followed up by
ass-to-mouth oral. There's a great standing doggy position to show off
her legs and high heels, and Alaura even shows her wetness to the camera,
as if to silence my doubts about her exaggerated vocals. Finally, Mark
shoots a thick, gooey load on her tongue and Alaura naughtily drips the
load out as she whispers goodbye. It's a really well-done scene with extensive
tease and all really neatly shot but, for me, there isn't enough "oomph"
about the sex which comes across as too laboured and played for the cameras.
Her chat may appeal to some viewers, but to my mind it just adds to the
impression of a slick, pro job.
Holly and Kailani
Two "first timers", tanned Kailani and pale Holly, both pretty cute though
not outstandingly so, indulge in some mild girl-girl play in the bathroom,
including some nice kissing and a double-dong fuck in the tub. Brandon
Iron joins them, little skirts back on and Kailani in black fishnet stockings,
in the bedroom. He has them rimming each other in double quick time, proceeding
to taste ass himself and offer gentle guidance in the arts of sucking
cock and licking balls. He fucks Kailani and then Holly, the darker girl
licking Holly's clit and tasting her juices from Brandon's dick.
The girls pile together and Brandon goes from one pussy to the other,
fucking them gently. Kailani takes a pretty hefty double dong toy into
her pussy, causing her to yell out. Holly tastes the toy and then rides
Brandon in cowgirl, while Kailani again licks the pussy-flavoured cock
and lightly smacks Holly's ass. She gets one last turn on Brandon's tool,
but clearly her pussy works some magic and he spunks on Holly's face.
Kailani licks it gingerly from her playmate's soft cheek, but there's
a very fast fade to black that kills the scene off too quickly. It's a
fairly average encounter in sexual terms that only heats up sporadically.
Maybe the girls were more inhibited than it sometimes looks, but Brandon
does a good job of guiding them. Funny how he's a baddie when he's mean
- does this make him a big softie? Or just a professional doing his job,
playing a part in a movie?
Charmane
Charmane is beautiful. Let's make that clear right off. She is so pretty
and perfectly formed all round, and sets off whichever outfit she models
in the photo shoot-style tease sequence that begins this scene. Small
boobs, prominent nipples, lovely legs, and a rounded bottom that looks
tiny in the hands of Joe, her partner for the sex. She goes down, nibbles
his cock through his pants, and delivers a tasty BJ. There's some nice
coverage of her body as Joe nudges into her pussy during a standing doggy
sort of position. She irresistibly proffers her tight cheeks to him and
he fucks her in doggy. Her rude remarks subside as the he fills her up,
but what I can't get over is the size of his hand relative to her tiny
round butt. Smack!
We can see her lovely ripe, thick nipped tits as she bends forward to
suck him, from reverse cowgirl, and marvel yet more at that small but
perfectly formed ass, said it again, but it's true! Spoon sex gets her
heated up some more and it also shows off her body well. Damn, she looks
good from every angle. She uses her mouth to get Joe off, and he unloads
his goo right over her face. For me, there's not enough kissing or touching
or real connection between the pair, but as far as just admiring a beautiful
girl having a pleasant sex session, this is eminently watchable.
Betty Blue
The camera tails Betty, a girl clearly attempting cool by association
with that stage name, into a metro station. The curvy brunette challenges
the cameraman/voyeur to follow her…if he's man enough. She boards a train
and teases him (and the viewer) by furtively playing with her pussy. Back
home, she playfully pushes the cameraman to the ground, and indulges in
further extensive tease activities. She strips off her top, skirt and
lacy panties to reveal fine boobs, and speaks in a husky voice (French?
Quebecois?) as she slips on a pair of black and white checked tights,
which show off her sturdy legs and ass well. Then she slips 'em off again.
Slowly. That's my kind of tease. Next, she fucks herself with a sizeable
dildo, but soon she wants real cock.
This is quite craftily filmed to ease the transition between the POV style
coverage of the tease and the third-person view on the sex. Her lace-gloved
fingers seek out the stud's cock, as though it was from his view. Her
cock sucking is admirable. Slowly the view moves to show her in doggy
sex with him, highlighting her desirable womanly curves before she bids
us to follow her to a garishly decorated bedroom where she stretches out
cat-like on the bed. The doggy style fucking resumes, moving to missionary
and interspersed with breaks for excitable oral. Her eyes are beautiful.
Brett, for it is he, pops that most delightful of toys, the ponytail butt
plug, into Betty's ass. She shows off her fab bum with the toy in place,
and then she takes it in her mouth. Naughty! She has no hesitation to
devour his cock after it's been in her ass, either, as we see during breaks
in reverse cowgirl anal, where her pierced pussy lips are prominent. A
different perspective on the position shows her ass so well, yet again,
and then they get into spoons anal, her big tits in motion. They're firm
and full, and I really hope they're natural! Again, not enough real connection
between the pair but this is undeniably hot stuff as they push on through
pile driver anal and more ass-to-mouth oral. Brett comes on her pussy
and anus, and Betty dips her gloved fingers into the come and licks it
up.
Jessica Dee
Curvy Jessica leads the camera indoors, where she gradually strips off
her jeans-and-t-shirt outfit and, after crawling and wriggling about in
teasing fashion, slips into something a little sexier. I must admit I
haven't been a big fan of hers before, but she does look a little prettier
here. Similarly, I haven't been a big fan of fishnets, as I feel they
often look tacky. However, the red pair of fishnet tights Jessica slips
on here certainly do something on her curvaceous form. In between crawling
up the stairs, Jessica also puts on some lacy lingerie and a pair of ludicrously
high shoes, before the underwear slides down again so she can pop butt
plugs into her bottom.
Jessica's crawling upstairs with a plug in place when a chap slips into
the picture and right into her pussy. He turns out to be Mark Wood, I
think, and Brandon Iron appears on hand too. As Jessica tries to look
real nasty while working over their cocks, she reminds me why I wasn't
too keen on her before. Nice body, though. It's seen to good effect in
the reverse cowgirl sex, which leads on to doggy and spoons anal, split
by A2M. Jessica seems to react vociferously at times, especially to the
latter and to double penetration. Both guys whack off into her mouth.
She dribbles it out, while pulling "nasty" faces. It doesn't look enticing.
Sorry way to end, as otherwise director Yani nearly makes a good job of
selling a scene with a girl I don't care for to me.
Dominique Dane
Now, who is this floating across my screen, sweetly smiling, all loose,
lithe limbs and flowing blonde hair? There's only a moment or two to check
her out before Brett sidles into the shot and Dominique confusingly introduces
herself as "Irina", or something like that. Brett happily undoes her scanty
wrap top and eases off her silly little pink skirt. She sports pink panties,
tightly wrapping her silky ass cheeks, but these go quickly too. This
is hardly a problem, as I can't quite believe how pink and pretty her
pussy looks. She almost seems bashful, surely not, as Brett admires and
nibbles her tits, but that's the way it seems as she emits a giggle when
she spies Brett's knob. Dominique looks absolutely charming giving Brett
a heavenly blow. Ah, it looks so innocent by today's gagging, spluttering
standards.
Then we have Dominique's truly beautiful pussy. The way it forms, so pink
and plump yet so neat, all round Brett's cock during missionary is amazing.
Imagination is working overtime as I ponder how that must feel. She's
all pink and flushed and it looks fabulous. Reverse cowgirl highlights
her lovely boobs and beautiful bum, but it's superb coverage of doggy
that really hits the spot, her delicious ass filling the screen, her body
arching. She tastes her pussy from his cock, and later coverage of cowgirl
shares the time between her sexy ass and blissful face. After one last
missionary position, Brett comes in her mouth.
This is just the right scene at the right time for me. To be perfectly
frank, aside from those knockout encounters between Nacho and Cinderella
in Killer Pussy 15 and Blowjob Impossible 5, it's a long time I've been
so enthralled by such a simple, straightforward sex scene as this. The
subtle appeal of this scene might elude some viewers, and you may well
wonder why the hell I like this apparently ordinary scene so much. But
if it interests you to see a beautiful young woman just glowing
as she, as far as I can see, really enjoys sex, I recommend it. It's really
natural, though it could still use more kissing, and the feeling
is just great. Dominique is said to be a first timer and doesn't play
to the camera, but to me that's what helps make this so enjoyable.
Overall
I must confess my positive reaction to this movie is, in part, one of
surprise, as I wasn't expecting too much. Still, having watched the movie,
I am no more clued up on Inch Freaks' "cock craving" theme. The reality
is that the movie splits its time between substantial tease sequences
and laid-back sex, with references to the desire for large penises made
rarely, and only in passing, to the extent that it's pretty much irrelevant.
For me, this is a good thing, and like another movie I reviewed lately,
Internal Cumbustion from Zero Tolerance, the niche marketing of the title
disguises a really well done movie with much broader appeal.
The camerawork always flatters the girls, and on this evidence I prefer
Yani Z's shooting style to that of his DVSX colleagues as he really moves
the camera around the performers to capture some great angles. It's not
an original style, but it works. The sex is explicit but not unduly nasty,
there's some good toy play, and the mood all around is pretty good. There
are a few reasons that mean this movie is in the "good, not great" class,
at least as far as my tastes are concerned. I would still like to see
better chemistry between the performers - the tendency in some of the
scenes is to use the guys as anonymous studs. To me, it makes little sense
to have people fucking but not to let them react naturally to each other.
The Kailani/Holly and Jessica scenes don't quite float my boat the way
Dominique's scene does and Alaura's would be better if she didn't lay
on the act quite so much. The look in her eyes tells us perfectly well
what she's thinking, thank you very much!
DVD Comments
Excellent picture quality, good sound - no complaints on that score. Those
who seek extra value in the DVD extras will find a reasonable selection.
Each girl is featured in a solo scene, of roughly 3-5 minutes duration,
which is a good idea from DVSX. I feel this has the potential to be made
even better, with different outfits or settings and so on. There's a photo
gallery and a couple of trailers too. All round, a good package. I must
say that DVSX really know how to put things together with good artwork,
pictures and general styling, they make appealing products in that regard.
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