Hustler Platinum: Brazilian Snake Review

The story so far - I know many of you felt disappointed by Brazilian Snake, Woodman's first full feature to come out under the Hustler's banner after the Woodman/Private breakup (and the Woodman/Tania breakup, for that matter). It didn't turn out to be the milestone that many had hoped for and, in fact, it has nothing new or milestone-y. It just picks up where "Exotic Illusions" (Private Gold 50) had left a few months ago. No Clive McLean golden moments. No Flyntesque twists. And I don't even think Woodman did this with Hustler in mind. He was in Cannes for the Hots D'Or last year with the girls and the boys from this movie (where, by the way, he snatched his mandatory 60-70 awards -best director, best scripter, best everything ever- and also pulled his weight to make the jury vote his pupil Judith Fox Best European Starlet), so "Brazilian Snake" is at least 10 months old and it was probably bound to be the 51st installment in the Private Gold series.

The sex - Woodman For Dummies: a plot (a family saga, a spy story, a thriller...), the ocean and a dozen beautiful girls.
So, provided you already have the following:
1) Ten or so young and innocent Eastern Europeans ready to be anally abused by older and unattractive men
2) A location straight out of a Club Med catalog
3) A financer willing to support your movie, but also your traveling porn circus,
then it's all quite easy.
Just connect the dots and there you have your standard Woodman's masterpiece (and if you consider yourself the Napoleon of porn and God's gift to virgins everywhere, that helps too).
Sometimes it works great, sometimes it doesn't and what comes out is cold and aseptic. Or something in between, like Brazilian Snake.

Index - (For a scene by scene breakdown check the absolutely brilliant Rog's review.)

Great-looking cast, ten girls (one of which I would gladly marry and have children with). Angelina Sweet and Yazmyne Fitzgerald are the leading ladies.

JUDITH FOX/HAKIM (Judith is the sweet-assed and doe-eyed little goddess we all know and love (see Superfuckers 1, Madness, Hustler XXX 1 among others). Also, apparently, one of the harem's favorites. She plays a hooker and detective Hakim-Alain Deloin has safe fun with her.)

SYLVIA/JAMES BROSSMAN/TITOF (Sylvia: cute brunette with pierced tongue (also in Hustler XXX 8). Hardly a Woodman's exclusive, she's even done an European Bukkake (#10). The sex includes a dp.)

ANITA TOO/SEBASTIAN BARRIO (Anita has hazel eyes, long and curly dark-blonde hair, large natural tits. Also a couple of ugly Popeye-like tatoos, though (Hustler XXX 8). Seb Barrio finds the way to come TWICE in her mouth.)

ADRIANNA/TITOF (Adrianna is a voluptuos golden blonde with blue eyes and long legs, a tanned body and a sexy complexion (Hustler XXX 7 and Superfuckers 11). She plays one of the dancers and she certainly shows dj Titof what DJ Culture is all about. For once, Woodman takes his time to show us Adrianna while she gets ready in front of the mirror at the Club. She makes herself up and then gets dressed in a sort of very nice reverse striptease.)

LAUREEN KISS/ANGELINA SWEET (Angelina has beautiful blue eyes and light-brown hair. She was in the Riviera saga. Laureen is a perky petite blonde with a great attitude. Pick any Private video from the last year or so and Laureen is likely to be there.)

COREENA/BARBARELLA/PASCAL ST. JAMES (Coreena is a pouty-lipped and very innocent-looking brunette. As usual, never judge a book by its cover. Seen Coreena in an European Bukkake too. Barbarella: oh my god, here I go... Where do I begin? The strangely-shaped and expressive hazel eyes? The glowing smile? The luscious lips? The adorable baby fat? Her scene is quick and forgettable, though. So dig out your Superfuckers 12 copy and watch it all over again. And cry. A note about Pascal St. James: this guy looks like a French Legionnaire from a Jean Gabin movie, but, sometimes, he also strangely reminds me of Naked Gun's Leslie Nielsen.)

ASIAN SHAN/ANGELINA SWEET/YAN SCOTT/BOB TERMINATOR (Asian is a sexy French/Oriental (Riviera, Bitches, Superfuckers 12). Angelina -who came out of Riviera a dp-virgin, if I remember correctly- gets dp'ed by Yan and Bob, but doesn't take Yan's missile up her butt, while Asian does without blinking.)

YAZMINE FITZGERALD (No sex, lez-only, simulated sex-only tall brunette. She's the boss's woman, so stop complaining and put up with that.)

The vidcaps - Here you have the girls of Brazilian Snake and here the supersexy Adrianna.

The disc and the extras - Nice looking menus ("Plot", "Blowjob", "Cum", no bs). Photo gallery and a few Hustler's trailers. As in other Hustler's dvds, mandatory ads at the beginning, with Sunrise still asking you to phone her, although she seems busy sucking cock, and a former Penthouse Pet still wanting to enlarge your penis (with pills).

So, do I buy it? - This reviewer is totally biased, he loves the girls, he loves the formula and, as a Trekkie who desperately tries to defend Wesley Crusher's reason of being, he even finds the dubbing "sexy". So, please, ask someone else.

Sbando