Hung Wankenstein Review

Reviewed by Pangolust  on  1/21/2025

Title: Hung Wankenstein
Distributor: Sin City
Edition Details: DVD
Genres: Comedy, Feature Film, Straight
Run Time: 108 minutes
Release Year: 2001
Director: Jim Enright
Written by: George Kaplan, Jim Enright
Director of Photography: Jack Vincennes
Cast: Ava Vincent, Evan Stone, Shanna McCullough, Kylie Ireland, Felicia Fox, Isabella Camille, Randy Spears, Ron Jeremy, Jason McCain, Anthony Crane (as "Anthony Crain"; non sex)

Release Specs:
Audio: English
Sound: Stereo
Subtitles: none
Format: DVD
Regional Code (for DVD/Blu-ray): N/A
Number of discs: 1

Synopsis

Scene 1: The movie opens on a stormy night over a castle, with the requisite horror B-movie screams and sound effects, and then cuts to "Present Day" in an unnamed American city. Dr. William Wankerstein (Randy Spears) is dressed like an old-fashioned doctor in a white lab coat, stethoscope, and headlamp, even though he's just playing solitaire in his office. He calls his secretary Marie to ask if there have been any calls, but she says there haven't been any for a month. "One little problem with a sheep and they brand you for life," he grumbles. A young guy, Spider D. Scheister (Jason McCain) walks in, asks if he's speaking to Dr. Wankerstein, and says he's the courier of the doctor's late uncle once removed, Victor Frankenstein (not even bothering to parody the name here?). William is apparently the 127th in line to inherit the Frankenstein legacy, since nobody else wanted it. William points out that Frankenstein is a fictional character, but Spider claims that the von Frankensteins were neighbors of Percy and Mary Shelley, and Dr. Wankerstein's family changed their name in the 1930s after the movie Frankenstein came out. Spider dumps a comically huge pile of paperwork on the doctor's desk and leaves. William starts laughing maniacally, and his assistant Marie (Kylie Ireland) comes in to find out what's going on. He tells her he's rich, and her first suggestion is that he could buy a whole flock of sheep. He suddenly becomes morose and sullenly says, "I told them nothing happened." Marie calms him down by pulling his face into her breasts. When he comes up for air, she gets down on her knees and is about to give him a blowjob, when Spider comes back in and asks why he's wasting so much valuable screen time. He agrees and hurries out of the room, but the nurse pulls Spider back in and says he owes her a sex scene. She gets down on her knees, pulls off his pants, and starts sucking his cock. He pulls her shirt off until she's just in her white lingerie. The camera is tilted here to fit both of them in the widescreen. He starts talking dirty and tears off her lingerie, bending her over the examination table and licking her ass. He starts fingering her asshole and pussy, while she fingers herself too. He pulls his fingers out and she licks them. She gets up on the table and he pulls off her heels and socks, licking and sucking her toes. He starts pounding her pussy with his cock while she moans. It fades into her bent over the table and him putting his cock in to fuck her doggy style. By now he's lost the ridiculous upside-down hat and Hawaiian shirt, and they're both fully naked. He pulls out, she gets on her knees, and he cums on her face and neck.

Scene 2: We cut to Dr. Wankerstein sitting on a suitcase next to some train tracks, while a guy dressed in Renaissance Fair-style peasant clothes approaches and sits next to him on the suitcase. William introduces himself, and the other guy, speaking in a vaguely Cockney accent, confirms that he's the doctor's servant Egon (Anthony Crane). Egon jumps into William's arms and gives him a kiss on the cheek, causing William to shove him off, and yell at him for calling him "Little Willy". Egon takes the doctor's bag, and walks off, telling William to "walk this way". William interprets him literally, following him and copying Egon's silly gait. Let me just say, Egon is one of the best parts of this movie, and definitely the funniest. He may not get any sex scenes, but Anthony Crane is clearly having the time of his life hamming it up.

Scene 3: Egon and Dr. Wankerstein are in an elevator, with Egon standing uncomfortably close. The doors open to reveal the housekeeper, Frau Shtuper (Shanna McCullough), who welcomes him to "Scheisswasser". (For the non-German-speakers, her name means "Fucker" (and is also a pun of the "Verb-er? I hardly know 'er!" kind) and the castle is named "Shitwater".) She bends over to check his bulge through his pants, and says he's "definitely a Wankerstein". Throughout the scene, she's carrying an unlit candle and wearing a headlamp, which keeps shining in William's eyes. William asks her how long she's been working for his family, and she says she worked with his great-great-great-uncle. He says, "that would make you-" and she interrupts, "Ja! Thirty-nine!" They bid each other good night, with her saying a series of German farewells as he grows visibly more annoyed. Egon is still there, and licks the rolling pin he's carrying for some reason while asking, "Do ya like to cuddle?" William sends him out too. William starts unpacking, when he hears female giggles coming from nowhere. He listens at the wall, then takes a candle and goes out to explore the castle. He comes across two nude women in bed together, laughing. He asks what they're doing, and the blonde innocently answers, "Obligatory lesbian scene." Inga (Ava Vincent), the blonde, introduces herself as his lab assistant, and says the brunette, Petra (Isabella Camille) "is just a day player". Petra explains that they are "nine pages into the script and we need more sex" (more of that fourth wall breaking). William accepts this explanation and leaves. Inga and Petra start kissing and caressing each other, laughing the whole time, and Inga starts eating out Petra. I don't know enough German (or Czech?) to know if what they say here means anything. Petra moans loudly and grabs her breasts as Inga licks, slaps, and rubs her pussy. After several minutes, they switch and Petra starts eating Inga's pussy and fingering her. The two of them start scissoring, and keep moaning, culminating in some very fake-seeming over-the-top orgasms.

Scene 4: Inga and William are sitting at opposite ends of a long dining table. Egon comes in and drops the dishes, hitting his head on the wall when he bends over to pick up the very fake-looking turkey. He spits and wipes it on his shirt to clean it off. When William criticizes the dinner, Egon switches to a snooty French accent, before switching back to his Cockneyish voice. The constant thunder and lightning outside the windows are getting to William, but luckily for him being mad is a prerequisite for scientists around there. William asks when they get down to building the monster, aware what kind of story he's in. Egon tells him that the monster is already made, but he's been brought to fix it. He assumes this means "neuter", since he's a vet (so that explains the sheep incident!). Inga corrects him: "Right part of the anatomy, wrong solution." Egon uses the revelation to make a vet(erinarian)/vet(eran) joke, suddenly switching to a gruff Vietnam vet persona. Back in his Cockney voice, he tells William to "walk this way" to where the monster is, and once again, William imitates Egon's silly walk (a different one this time). Inga sashays out the door after them.

Scene 5: The three of them go back to William's room, where Egon tells him about a secret passageway behind the bookshelf, that he can't get open. The two men try to move the bookshelf, while Inga sits down on the bed and starts playing with a dildo attacked to a wire. As she puts it into her pussy, the bookcase moves, trapping William inside. Egon tells her to try putting it back in, and she does, but this time Egon gets trapped too. From behind the bookcase, William tells Inga to slowly put the dildo in halfway, and the bookcase opens to let them out. They prop the bookcase with a chair. William and Egon go through, while Inga stays behind to masturbate with the dildo, which keeps making the bookcase move back and forth.

Scene 6: The doctor and Egon enter the lab, which is full of "wondrous devices" Egon explains were from a sale at "Wondrous Devices R Us". As Inga enters, bouncing on her feet, they hear a growl and Egon again jumps into William's arms. Egon says it's the monster, but he's not dangerous, just depressed. The three of them go to a cell with a straw-covered floor, and the monster in one corner, wrapping himself in a black cloak to hide from them. Egon and Inga explain that the monster has a small penis (well, "average", but he saw a Ron Jeremy video, which becomes funnier once you realize who plays the elder Frankenstein in this). Frau Shtuper appears from the other side of the bars, revealing that she and the elder Dr. Frankenstein were fuckbuddies. The scene fades into a flashback.

Scene 7: We see a flashback in black-and-white to the young Frau Shtuper and Dr. Victor Frankenstein (Ron Jeremy). Victor monologues for a while, about how he created life, but can't have sex with his wife, who rejects him. He kind of deserved this, as Frau Shtuper asks if he ever gave her flowers, a massage, or whispered sweet nothings to her, and he admits he never did any of those. But all is not lost, as Frau Shtuper offers to fuck him so he can work on his science free of sexual frustration. Victor jumps on top of her on the bed, and they start making out. He pulls off her top and starts sucking her breasts. She takes off her skirt and he starts licking her pussy and fingering her. Victor undresses and shows her his "bratwurst", and she starts sucking him. After a few minutes of oral, it fades into him fucking her in missionary. She tells him to come when she counts down from ten. At "one", he pulls out and comes in her mouth as she says "zero". She sucks the last of the cum from his cock.

Scene 8: Back in the present, Frau Shtuper finishes telling her tale to the bemused William, Inga, and Egon. As she rants about how she "did it for you!" the monster (Evan Stone) rises up behind them. Frau Shtuper leaves, and the three of them turn around to find the monster standing right in front of them, clad in chains and not much else. The doctor slowly tells the monster he's going to examine him, and pulls out his stethoscope. The cold of the stethoscope touching his chest makes the monster grab Egon by the neck and lift him, while the doctor and Inga don't notice until he drops Egon with a clang. William pulls out a magnifying glass and examines the monster's genitals. He says "It isn't pretty," to which Egon snarks "Sure it is. It's pretty small." As Inga and William talk, the monster knocks Egon out with one punch.

Scene 9: William and Egon enter a shop full of body parts, run by a jolly salesman (George Kaplan). They pick out the largest penis in the display case, but then decide on a slightly smaller one. Frau Shtuper tries to steal the penis, claiming she was there first, but allows them to take it in the end. The signs on the walls ("hands and legs ½ off", "heads completely off") are a funny little joke, as is the shopkeeper offering them "fresh snatch of the day".
Scene 10: Back in the lab, the doctor, Inga, and Egon are dressed in medical scrubs, and at least the doctor wears a mask and gloves, though he also smokes a cigarette right next to the patient. Inga passes him the "ass spreader", which he uses on the monster while he and Egon pull out all sorts of junk from inside him: a rolling pin, a severed hand, an alarm clock, a working telephone (on which William's mom is calling him), an eagle statuette, a coat hanger, the fake turkey from earlier, a power drill (which he uses to operate on the patient), a fake brain, and a bottle of wine. During the operation, we also get a repeat of the "monster choking Egon" gag from earlier, while Inga and the doctor are oblivious. Finally, he extracts the monsters tiny penis, and replaces it with the large one. They push some buttons and try to turn the power on, but it's not working. Inga steps in and (presumably) jerks the monster off under the sheet, which finally does the trick. Dr. Wankerstein raises his arms and shouts, "It's erect!" I have to commend Evan Stone for keeping a straight face through this entire scene.

Scene 11: Back in his cell, the monster appears to be happily jerking off, though we can see his hand isn't actually holding anything. Inga comes in and introduces herself, offering to have a "roll in ze hay" with him. She starts mumbling about her childhood horse, but before she can tell us exactly what she wanted to do with that horse, the monster shoves her face down onto his cock. He lifts up her dress and starts fingering her ass, but then it cuts back to her giving him a blowjob. They start 69ing with her on top, as he licks her pussy and asshole, and then it fades into him fucking her pussy in missionary, with a condom on. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must have been for them to fuck on straw. At least she brought a few pillows. He pulls out his cock, slaps it against her pubis for a bit, then shoves it back in. It fades again to him fucking her from behind against the wall. He seems to be able to talk now, and grunts a few words, mostly "fuck". Distorted sounds of moaning mixed with thunder and lightning play over a shot of the empty lab, and a ghostly figure moves through the hallway. William, lying in bed reading, listens to the sounds, and then we see Egon in the hallway smiling as he realizes who it is. We cut back to Inga and the monster, who announces he's going to cum. Inga gets on her knees, he rips off the condom, and he comes in her mouth. As she sucks him, he raises his arms in ecstasy and the scene goes black.

Scene 12: Note: For some reason, this and the next scene are separate from the rest of the movie in the time counter at the bottom. We open to William sitting in bed, writing something with a quill. Inga comes in, elated, and sits on the bed, telling him how happy and horny she is. William accepts her offer to shtup, "If I have to", but he seems pretty enthusiastic when she takes off his pants and starts sucking his dick. After a few minutes of this, we switch to him licking her pussy. When it pans out, we see that he's completely naked, while she has only her socks and boots on. She fucks him in cowgirl, holding onto the bedframe, which fades into doggy style. He pounds her pussy with a condom on, and then it fades into him cumming on her face and mouth.

Scene 13: Back in the lab, William is tinkering, with something under a sheet when Egon comes in and says he can't find Inga or Mel (apparently the monster's name, probably a shout-out to Mel Brooks). William hands him a letter from Inga, which Egon reads out loud for the audience. Inga says she and Mel are moving to Chatsworth, California, with plans for Mel to become a porn star. Egon assumes the doctor is disappointed, and leaves him alone, with a little prodding. Once Egon is gone, William unveils the body on the table, revealing a female monster (Felicia Fox), with Bride-of-Frankenstein hair. He starts sucking her breasts and takes off his pants, sitting back on the operating table while she gives him a blowjob. The camera pans up, showing her white thong and bra under a semi-translucent robe. She tit-fucks him for a bit, then goes back to sucking his cock. The scene fades into him eating her pussy while she lies on the table. He starts fucking her slowly in missionary as they both moan, and she plays with her pussy. Then it cuts to her riding him in reverse cowgirl. During this scene we get a good look at her pierced pussy. It fades to him cumming on her face and mouth, and sucking the rest from his dick. Egon wanders in, taking a second to notice what's happening in front of him, then bends down to check on the woman, gets back up, and whispers to William, "We're not alone." The woman hisses at him and he runs off, as William turns and looks into the camera.


Extras: BTS only lasts for 3 and a half minutes, but it's pretty funny and doesn't drag on. Same with the bloopers (mostly the actors cracking up). Anthony Crane claims that there was an Egon sex scene that was cut, but I don't know if they'd have been able to do that without everyone laughing too hard to fuck. The movie trailers are skippable and nothing special, as are the ads for phone sex companies that probably don't exist anymore.

Notes: First of all, the cover is a lie. There are no green guys in this film. And they pronounce it "Wankerstein", not "Wankenstein" the whole time, so either the performers or the designers screwed up. The DVD menu says "Wankerstein".

The credits list Isabella Camille as the "She Creature" and Felicia Fox (as "Fleicia Fox") as Petra, but IAFD has them reversed. I'm not sure which is which, since they have similar looks and the video quality is typical of the early 2000s. I think IAFD may be correct, since some of the things Petra says sound like a Slavic language, and Isabella Camille is Czech.

The chapter selection in the DVD menu has only 12 scenes, and the last one is the credits. I divided the scenes based on natural transitions.

Final Thoughts: Making a porn parody of Young Frankenstein that lives up to the spirit of the original, one of the best comedies of the 20th century, is a tall order, but the cast and crew really leaned into the campiness of the premise, as they should. Egon's comic relief and slapstick, Inga's bubbly sexiness, and William's alternating straight man/large ham roles make this an utterly enjoyable film. This was clearly made by people who have a love for the original movie. It's not a scene-for-scene remake, but that's actually a point in its favor, having its own plot instead of completely copying another.

The video quality is about what you'd expect for a low-budget film from 2001, but that doesn't detract from my enjoyment. This movie was as hot as it was funny. I found myself entertained and aroused in equal parts. As a fan of the original, I loved it, but you don't have to have seen Young Frankenstein to watch this.