Hot Dallas Nights Review

Studio
VCX

Genre
Classic/Parody

Director
Tony Kendrick

Starring
Hillary Summers, Raven Turner, Tara Flynn, Alexander Kingsford, R.J. Reynolds, Slim Grady, and Turk Lyon

Running Time
1:15

DVD Format
DVD-R

Aspect Ratio
1.33:1 (full frame)

Special Features
Full motion video main menu

Typical Watchers
Golden Age and parody porn fans

Typical Haters
If you didn't like Debbie Does Dallas, you're not going to like this one either

Replay Value
Low to Medium

Themes
Classic porn, parody, female masturbation, sex with fruit, girl-girl, female kissing, toys, light bondage, facials, PTOGM, infidelity, natural breasts, no anal

Condoms
None used

If You Liked This DVD, You Should Enjoy
Debbie Does Dallas or Nurses of the 407

One of my earliest porn memories is seeing a group of trailers for VCX films on my much cherished first X-rated tape.  One of those trailers advertised this movie, Hot Dallas Nights, a parody of the hit 80's TV show, Dallas.  Although I can recite some of the dialogue from memory thanks to the short trailer, I hadn't ever seen Hot Dallas Nights until VCX released it on DVD.

The story itself is pretty simple:  R.J. Brewing is the head of a Dallas-based fertilizer company.  Together with his parents (Rock & Millie, who add some humor in non-sex roles), R.J. lives on the family ranch with his idiot younger brother, Robbie, Robbie's nympho wife, Pat, his alcoholic wife Mary Ellen, and his niece Lindy.  R.J. cooks up a plot to buy the company's main rival in the shit business, and uses his affair with Robbie's wife to try to get his way.  But with almost everyone sleeping with someone they shouldn't be, R.J. isn't the only one who tries to get what they want.

While the acting is over-the-top and the story isn't as funny as Tony Kendrick probably thought it was, this movie has the charm and the sex to make it worth at least a rental.  First, it's has that intangible feeling that comes from Golden Age pornos:  a sort of lighthearted take on sex.   It's totally different from the almost clinical, mechanical feeling that modern-day adult features have when the hardcore starts.  The best way I can describe it is that it's like watching a hardcore version of Porky's--obviously not to be taken seriously and naughty like finding your first Playboy as a kid.

From The Budding of Brie star Hillary Summers (as young Lindy) seducing ranchhand Duke by fucking a banana in front of him to Pat demanding R.J to "eat Mama's [her] pussy," the sex has a bawdy edge.  I also like the girl-girl scene between the two wives:  it is a typical Golden Age lesbian scene: not overly explicit, tender at first but gradually more intense until the climax.  Other notables:  a rare facial popshot, natural breasts and bushes, pussy-to-other-girl's-mouth action, and lots of vag fucking.

Hot Dallas Nights' video quality is pretty typical of early 80's videos:  VHS quality with a soft picture and mono audio that is hard to make out clearly in spots.  As is typical with VCX releases, the top and bottom edges of the master track is visible, so we see the "©VCX, Inc. 1981" watermark on the screen edges, along with occasional video distortion.  Also, the DVD is a DVD-R disc with a inkjet printed label, so you should be sure your player can handle -R discs before you buy it.

I like Hot Dallas Nights not only for the nostalgia, but also because it's a light-hearted parody with above average sex, even if the cast is not well-known.  Of course, the acting is corny with the Southern drawl, and the styling is dated, but it's still enjoyable.  Recommended.

- Saki (saki@sakivision.com)